I know I have quite a bit of catching up to do. I've been traveling a lot over the past few weeks and am several episodes behind in my AHS and TWD posts. I will hopefully have everything updated in the next few days, especially now that we are approaching the Cult finale. Episode 9 takes us to WTF Land, as this season has already passed Crazy Town. Insert "wrong turn at Albuquerque" jokes here. Kai and his man army have made the full jump from political movement to cult and Ally...well, Ally is just friggin' killing me. Here's what went down in "Drink the Kool-Aid."
I'm Gonna Be Like Him
The episode opens with Kai having a slumber party with his man army and telling them various cult history bedtime stories. He begins with Heaven's Gate in 1997 where 39 cult members had committed mass suicide via a pudding/poison/apple sauce combination. They had hoped to leave their earthly bodies and ascend to the great unknown in a spaceship. Kai then moves on to David Koresh and his Branch Davidians cult in Waco, Texas in 1993. Koresh's followers bought into the idea that he was the only man who should, uh, continue the group's population. The rest of the men stood by (celibate) while Koresh impregnated the often very young women in the compound. When the group was on the verge of being arrested for illegal possession of firearms, many fled, but those 79 who stayed behind were either shot by their leader or burned alive in the buildings that were intentionally set on fire. And finally, Kai tells the story of Jim Jones and The People's Temple. This guy coined the phrase "drink the kool-aid," which is news to me, and his group started in California and relocated to its final destination in Guyana. After some of his followers invited Congressman Leo Ryan to investigate human rights violations in 1978, Jones' utopia became a nightmare. Leo Ryan as well as several NBC employees were shot and killed, and over 900(!) members of The People's Temple died the same day after drinking cyanide infused kool-aid. Kai refers to all of these dudes as "great men" and the man army buys into every word.
At the next City Council meeting Kai suggests banning a number of websites that he considers "offensive" and I roll my eyes. Kai is looking to connect every computer in town to a private network, the cost of which is ridiculous, and Perry (the one Councilman who ever speaks up at these meetings but is always shut down) is not having it. He is the only one not to vote for this new Act, and the other members all seem to raise their hands in fear rather than support. I'm surprised Perry is still alive. Kai follows up this victory by announcing his plans to run for U.S. Senate in 2018 even though the incumbent is popular and has already served 3 terms. Something tells me whoever that guy is will probably get a visit from the dwindling clown posse.
We'll Get Together Then
Ally and Ivy are at their house finally having the "fuck you" talk we've been waiting for, with each accusing the other of destroying their family. Ivy tells her wife she felt like she was spiraling out of control and needed someone to tell her what to do, where to go, and what to believe. "It felt so good to take my hands off the wheel." Ally gets on a high horse and reminds her that people died because of this cult and I'm sitting on my couch screaming "VINCENT DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!" Ivy says she was on her way out and wants to know why Ally would join with Kai. Ally does her crying thing and talks about their son, their family, blah, blah, blah. "I'm not saying that if we get out of this we're going to be together, but if we can escape I'm not leaving Oz's mother behind."
Almost on cue, Winter and Oz walk through the door and Ally gives him a Twisty book and sends him to his room so the adults can talk. Winter apologies to Ally for her involvement in everything and says they need to run away and they need to run away now. Ivy tearfully nods and Ally agrees. The only problem is, the man army is now at the front door and they escort the women and Oz to Kai's house for an emergency meeting. Ally doesn't like the idea of bringing her son with them (you don't have a choice honey) but the man army says Oz can watch cartoons while they meet.
The ladies gather with the man army in Kai's basement and Beverly joins them. Bev immediately starts beating the shit out of Winter (she's earned it), and Kai enters the room wearing all white and breaks it up. He begins talking about "the power space" and grabs a tray with a very large container of kool-aid. "We need to do something radical." The ladies tell him he is making a mistake...that he needs them to get to the next level and not just the man army. Kai spews some shit about removing themselves from the shackles of their bodies and returning as superior beings. He then tells everyone in the room to take a cup. The first man Kai points to can't bring himself to drink so Gary shoots him. Beverly sees this, gets on her knees, and drinks quickly. Ally, Ivy and Winter follow, and then the man army yells and cheers while they drink. Kai is the last to taste the kool-aid. There was no poison. It was merely a test and everyone except for that one dude has proven their loyalty. Good grief.
We're Gonna Have A Good Time Then
Ally and Ivy go back to their house and prepare for the escape. Ivy is hesitant to walk away from their life and she makes the mistake of asking, "what about Winter?" Ally's reaction is warranted and there's no more talk of Ivy's girlfriend. The women head to school to pick Oz up and get the hell out of there...but he's already been picked up by Winter and taken to Kai's house. She's seriously still the worst nanny ever. Kai is trying to do some male bonding and makes Oz believe that he needs a daddy in his life. He even goes as far as telling Oz that he is Oz's real father via the local sperm bank. He tells Ally and Ivy when they arrive, "I've kept close track of all of my children, but Oz is special." Seriously? I don't think that's a thing guys can do after their sperm donations. I need someone to call bullshit. Oz tells his moms he wants to stay with his daddy and Kai suggests the ladies go home and get reacquainted after their long separation.
Ally and Ivy know that if Kai is pushed enough there's a chance he will kill all three of them so they let Oz stay the night at the Anderson house. They can't find anything in their sperm bank paperwork regarding the identity of Oz's biological father but Ivy is worried that Kai is telling the truth. Ally makes a nice dinner and tells Ivy she'll go to the clinic in the morning and find out for sure. Ivy doesn't understand how Ally can be so calm, but Ally believes Oz is safe for the night and she thinks she knows how to get him back. Ivy says the only way possible is murder. Ally agrees, saying she has a plan...but tonight she wants to sit down, eat some food, and drink some wine. So I assume that means no one is minding The Butchery this evening? That place has to have either been condemned or gone out of business at this point, right?
Ally opens a bottle of wine similar to the one they had on their honeymoon and this all seems a little strange. She tells Ivy, "Tonight we start over" but it's creepy. Ally just holds her glass and watches Ivy eat and drink for a bit, then she puts food on her own plate. She starts talking about her time in the psych ward and how much pain she was in and how she thought about killing herself. "And then I thought about you and how you left me alone in there without a word. No visits. Not even a glimpse of Oz in all that time." She goes on to tell Ivy that the only thing that got her through those weeks was the thought of revenge. This bitch. Ivy tries to defend herself and says she didn't think it was best for Oz to visit Ally while she was being evaluated and all I think is "Ivy, stop drinking the wine and eating the damn food!" Ally says she couldn't forgive Ivy for anything she's done and she was cured by the thought of revenge. Ivy tells her this assertive, strong woman thing is just a passing phase...and Ally will revert back to a coward in no time. "You can dream of revenge, but I'm not afraid of you." At that moment Ivy begins to cough up blood...she's been ingesting arsenic from the wine and food and she realizes she's a goner. Before she dies she tells Ally that Oz will never forgive her, you know, like Ally is going to tell Oz that she poisoned his other mother, but Ally already has a story thought up about Ivy leaving them both behind. So really, Oz will never forgive Ivy...who dies a slow gurgling death on the floor.
Come On Let's Play
Ally does go to the sperm bank and has to bribe the woman who works there to see Oz's file. Turns out Kai is not the father (said in my best Maury Povich voice), but Ally changes the file so she can make Kai believe Oz is really his kid. She invites him over for dinner once again and casually tells him she killed Ivy and it felt "fucking fantastic." Kai has a look on his face like "is this manwich poisoned?" but Ally tells him she wouldn't poison him because a boy needs his father. She shows him the "proof" that he was the chosen sperm donor, and she says she chose him not even knowing his name because even then she knew he was extraordinary. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Kai thinks he now has his messiah baby who is destined for greatness and they can be a real family. He even treats Ivy like family - she now resides in the master bedroom mausoleum with the three dead Andersons.
The episode ends there and damn it, I liked Ivy. There was this brief moment when Ally was trying to help Meadow that I was rooting for her, but that time has gone. I mean, WTF? She threw Vincent under the bus, murdered her wife, and she's completely aligned with Kai? Color me pissed. It's been a while since Sarah Paulson was the last man standing on AHS so I'm sure Ryan Murphy had to write that in this season. As we move into the final episodes and the characters are dwindling, I have to wonder where the hell this is going now. Beverly was first to drink the kool-aid tonight, Winter had no problem picking up Oz from school so he could be held at the Anderson house, and Ivy's freaking dead now. Is this cult just going to run a muck for two more episodes? Are we just going to spend two more hours listening to Kai say "fake news" over and over? Can Kathy Bates or Jessica Lange please come in and save this shit? I need Fiona Goode or Madam LaLaurie to show up and wipe all of these assholes out.
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