TWD Season 9 Episode 1: A New Beginning

Annnnnd we're back! The Walking Dead returns tonight with a time jump of at least a year and a half. The good news for Lauren Cohen is we never actually saw Maggie pregnant, so that was one less wardrobe thing for her to worry about in her character's journey. The bad news for us is Lauren Cohen is leaving the show this season, though it seems that it will be more of a hiatus than a RIP scenario. On the flip side, Andrew Lincoln is peacing out as well and all reports point to Rick Grimes' demise. I'm not going to go on another rampage on how dumb it was for TWD show runners to kill of Carl, so let's just see where we are after "A New Beginning."

People Of The World Today

The hour(ish) opens with our heroes working together to raid a museum in D.C. for items that might be helpful in their new normal. Seems the group has been working hard on mastering the material in "The Key" book that Georgie had bestowed upon Maggie, and they have adapted to operating like people did in older days. Farming is huge, windmills are succeeding, and the Grimes gang relies more on traveling by horse now, which makes sense given the gas supply wasn't going to last forever. In this trip Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Carol, Ezekiel, Alden, Jesus, Tara, Maggie, Enid, Siddiq, Jadis/Anne, Cyndie, Aaron, Smokin' Hot Rosita, Man Bun Jesus, a half blind Gabriel sans facial hair, and others are on a mission to secure a covered wagon, plow, canoe, and other dated supplies that may come in handy. Things get a bit dicey when the group tries to pull the wagon over the glass floor and we alllllmost lose Ezekiel to the Walkers below. The King and others walking on the glass are attached to a rope though and our heroes pull him to safety. Carol rushes to Ezekiel and gives him a big kiss because apparently they are a thing now. Damn it. I'm never going to get my Daryl/Carol happily ever after, am I? 

Anyway, the group begins the journey home...wherever home is these days given the last time we saw these guys they were split in different locations, and a very large herd of Walkers thwarts their progress. They make off with the wagon and canoe, but lose the plow and Ken (no idea who that is) in the process. Bummer. The trek is not without some smiles though. After Ezekiel's brush with death, he proceeds to propose to Carol on the ride home. She turns him down, of course, because that's not how Carol rolls and this is apparently not the first time she has done so. He laughs it off, saying he'll just hold onto the ring until she's ready, and I'll admit that the exchange is cute...even though it would be cuter with Daryl. 

No Struggle, No Progress

Catching up with the various communities now, we realize Alexandria has been restored and is also approaching "Carl's dream Alexandria" status. Rick is running the show there, naturally, and Maggie is leading Hilltop via election, and Hilltop appears to be thriving the most out of all of the communities. Cyndie heads up Oceanside with help from Eugene and Smokin' Hot Rosita, Ezekiel still rules the resurrected Kingdom, and Daryl is the man in charge of The Sanctuary. Daryl is not a fan of being in charge of The Sanctuary...probably because most of the people there are still douchebags (Justin in particular). The former "we are all Negan" dwellers are also having a hell of a time with the whole farming/building/do-this-shit-yourself thing and constantly need food and supplies from neighboring communities. It's become tiresome. Daryl tells Rick that he wants out of The Sanctuary and would prefer to be with Maggie in Hilltop, and Rick seems a bit hurt that Daryl wouldn't want to be in Alexandria instead. Sensing Daryl's feelings, Carol offers to run The Sanctuary. Well, I think Carol is also trying to avoid seriousness with Ezekiel, but Daryl takes her up on the offer and gets the hell out of there. 

Rick, Daryl, Michonne and some others head to Hilltop where Rick appeals to Maggie for more stuff for the Saviors. Maggie is tired of being the constant giver and this request isn't well received. Rick doesn't really seem to pick up on the tension, asking her to visit Alexandria to see Judith when she can. Duh, Rick. You're keeping Negan alive in Alexandria. Why the hell would Maggie want to visit? Maggie agrees to give The Sanctuary food and supplies in exchange for the fuel the Saviors make from those supplies. She also acknowledges that one of the main bridges nearby is in need of serious repairs and says the Saviors need to provide the labor to fix it. Rick tells Maggie the Saviors are barely hanging on and they are obliged to help, but Maggie isn't having it (nor should she). "They surrendered. We didn't kill them. That's it."

Strength In Numbers

Turns out Ken is the son of the Hilltop blacksmith and his parents are livid when they find out what happened to him. Mom accuses Maggie of sacrificing her son to find supplies that only help the Saviors, and Maggie is quickly banned from Ken's funeral. She watches from the balcony of her big house with baby Hershel in tow. I love that she named her baby Hershel, but this is made all the more tear-jerking with Scott Wilson's death. Who knew the tribute would be such a tribute? Anyway, Dumb Ass Gregory uses this opportunity to rile up some Hilltop folks into thinking Maggie is an unfit leader. So much so that he stages an attack, tricking Maggie into thinking Glenn's grave has been vandalized so she is out there on her own in the dark (well, "on her own" but pushing Hershel in a stroller) when an attempt is made on her life by a hooded man. Turns out the hooded man is Ken's dad and Enid and Man Bun Jesus hear a commotion and come to Maggie's aid. She quickly realizes that Ken's dad did not come up with this plan on his own and she confronts Dumb Ass Gregory. Staying consistent in jackassery, Maggie's predecessor tries to stab her with a knife and fails miserably...like he has at most other things. 

What to do with Dumb Ass Gregory and his conspirators? Maggie gives Ken's parents a pass given their grief, but she sentences Dumb Ass Gregory to death because "the punishment must fit the crime," and I give a resounding "WOOHOO!" from my couch. Keeping with the "we do things old school now" theme, Dumb Ass Gregory finds himself sitting on a horse with a noose around his neck as he pleads for his life. Michonne sees children nearby and calls for Maggie to stop the execution so they don't see the aftermath, but Maggie signals to Daryl, then Daryl slaps the horse's behind, and Dumb Ass Gregory is no more. Good. Effing. Riddance. 

The episode ends there and it was nice to see how far these folks have come over time. It was also nice to see Dumb Ass Gregory get the noose. Seriously. HOW had that guy lasted so long? Maggie must have the patience of a saint. Not only has she tolerated the guy who has undermined her since Hilltop was introduced, she is now still biding her time with the Rick revenge she promised in the Season 8 finale. Will we see any payback before Rick's final farewell? Will Maggie cause Rick's death? Too soon to tell, but I will say that I am pleased with the time jump so far. We needed something different and here's hoping we're off to a good start. 

TWD Season 8 Episode 16: Wrath

Tonight we reach the end of the season and the end of the All Out War on The Walking Dead and all I can say is...FINALLY. Though I can't tell you I understand the "whys" involved in what happened this hour, I'm at a point where I wanted to move on from this rivalry in just about any way possible. Who survived this final battle? Here's what went down in "Wrath."

All The Things That I Used To Say

The episode opens with a shot of Rick, back in his sheriff's deputy days, walking down a long road with a very young Carl. Hand in hand they look like they don't have a care in the world. Rick's voice-over says "I remember" and we cut back to present day in Hilltop where Rick is hanging out with baby Gracie. Siddiq enters the room with formula for the little one and Rick finally asks him what happened to Carl. Siddiq explains that Carl was helping him honor his mother by releasing the souls trapped in the undead. "He died paying respects to a woman he never knew. But it was dangerous. It was dangerous and I didn't think about that. I should've." Rick (genuinely) thanks Siddiq and heads out to start this last day of battle. 

As what's left of The Kingdom army prepares to fight, Henry's attitude seems to have changed and he's no longer in danger of becoming a mini-Morgan. He asks Carol to come back to The Kingdom with them once they win the war and gets a "maybe" in response. I dunno. Carol's cottage is pretty sweet. She should consider locking Morgan up in that cottage...dude flips out when he sees what I like to call the Hilltop Saviors entering the gates, and he almost attacks Henry in the process. Alden (the hot one) had asked Maggie if he and the other Saviors could clear the Walkers outside of the gates before everyone began heading out. I guess Morgan somehow thought these guys were staging a rebellion. Rick floats the idea of Morgan staying back at Hilltop, but Morgan insists on joining this final fight. He tells Rick: "We are worse than we were. Me and you. We are. Giving your word to those men back at the bar..." Yes, Morgan. There were a few things wrong with what you did at the bar. Morgan tells Rick they can't go back at this point. "So let's just finish this." 

All The Words That Got In The Way

We catch up with The Sanctuary now, where Dwight is donning Daryl's yellow sweatsuit. Negan wants Dwight loaded in one of the vehicles so he can witness Rick's group being slaughtered and right on cue, Eugene shows up and tells Negan the bullets are ready. He hands the boss man a handgun to test them out himself and Negan shoots up a target labeled "Rick." 

Negan chooses Laura, Eugene and Gabriel to ride in his car as the Saviors make their way to the final battle. Negan wants to "confess" to Gabriel before shit hits the fan. As part of the trap he's setting up for Rick, he admits to sacrificing a group of Saviors who think they are setting up a roadblock/Walker obstacle. Don't get me started on the blue-haired Savior or how that's a thing people would maintain in an apocalypse. Anyway, these guys are sitting ducks and Rick's group takes them out quickly. Morgan even slits the throat of a Savior who quickly surrenders and I'm wondering how he's going to bounce back from this thirst for blood. Jesus suggests that Morgan should use the pointy end of his stick for Walkers and the non-pointy end for people. What a mind-blowing idea that is. Morgan actually gives it a shot at one point.

As Negan is giving his confession to Gabriel, a Walker appears in the middle of the road and Laura has to swerve and slow down to avoid it. Personally I feel like their vehicle could have plowed right through the zombie with no problem, but nonetheless, Gabriel takes the opportunity to jump out of the moving car and blindly start running through the woods unarmed. My palm can't get to my forehead quick enough. Eugene catches up with him right away and holds a gun to his face. Okay Eugene. I've had about enough of you. I need someone to punch you in the face as soon as possible. Negan punches Gabriel in the gut instead and the priest is loaded right back into the car. On they go. 

All The Things That I Used To Know

We have an all-star group of Maggie, Rick, Michonne, Carol, Jesus, Morgan, Ezekiel, Jerry, Siddiq (why?) and Smokin' Hot Rosita heading to the location they believe Negan will be. They look over a clearing at one point and see a huge mass of Walkers in the distance. Rick notes that he's never seen a group quite that big before and says things are changing all around them. They get to another clearing and hear that familiar whistle...our heroes are out in the open and they are surrounded by Negan and his army who are standing up in the hills ready to fire. 

Meanwhile a large convoy of Saviors arrives at Hilltop and somehow Tara is the one left behind to lead the people there. She actually leads them into the woods rather than engage in a fight and Tara volunteers to stay behind to hold the Saviors off. Alden (the hot one) stays with her and the other Hilltop Saviors do the same. They are just about to shoot at the enemy Saviors approaching the gates when someone starts throwing....flaming liquor bottles at the enemy? Oceanside has arrived with Aaron! And they've brought fire bottles because Rick took all of their weapons last season! No seriously, Aaron has a gun and Cyndie has a gun. Everyone else has some sort of torch or burning something. THIS is the cavalry? Tara and the Hilltop Saviors couldn't have just shot those fools and called it a day? Good grief.   

Have Gone Out The Window

Negan has transitioned to a new magical walkie talkie and there's a fair amount of shit talking that I don't have the strength to recap because it's nothing new. Negan stands ready to blow Gabriel's head off and he gives the order for everyone to fire at the same time....then something strange happens. All of the guns backfire on the Saviors. So Eugene isn't completely an asshole after all! Our heroes take advantage of the situation right away and the majority of Negan's army surrenders. Somehow Rick and Negan end up off by themselves and another one on one fight ensues because why not? They are near the tree we've been seeing bloody Rick leaning against in a flash forward all season, and Negan does hit Rick in the gut with his bat, but Lucille is clean now for whatever reason so Rick is wounded but not done for. At this point Negan has ample opportunity to bash Rick while he's down on the ground, but he talks instead and Rick gets the upper hand for about 2 seconds. Negan has another opportunity to bash Rick...but then he talks some more. And then Rick talks. He asks Negan to give him 10 seconds "for Carl" and Negan agrees. Dude. Negan. I don't want you to win but damn you sure are missing your shot. As Rick talks about Carl's dying wish, Negan approaches Rick and hesitates, considering the peace Rick is proposing. Then Rick slits Negan's throat and I scream "WHAT THE HELL?!?" Rick! Seriously! Your "10 seconds for Carl" peace talk was bullshit too?!? God help me with this show. 

I assume, like many, that Negan is done and I'm wondering what the last 15 minutes of the episode will entail. Instead, Negan is lying on the ground holding his throat when our heroes and their prisoners arrive. Rick has another flashback of his pre-apocolypse walks with young Carl and then signals to Siddiq to save Negan. Huh? He follows that up by giving this grand speech, telling the prisoners to put their hands down because everyone is going to go home and live in peace and fairness. Rick points to that big mass of Walkers in the distance and says they have to stand together in this new world. "There has to be something after. All this...all this is just what was." Rick goes back to the tree, sits against it, and then does the "my mercy prevails over my wrath" thing that's been on repeat in Season 8. 

Maggie, by the way, loses her shit. Like, loooooses her shit. Michonne holds her back as she screams that it can't be over until Negan is dead...that he killed Glenn and they have to make it right. Maggie is breaking my heart, and I don't blame her one bit. She's "the widow" and the leader of a community, and we should really be beyond a Ricktatorship at this point. The terms of the All Out War surrender should have been discussed among the leaders rather than Rick slitting someone's throat and then deciding to regurgitate what Carl said on his deathbed and in his letter...as if these were new things that he himself came up with in that moment. Maggie had no reason to believe Negan wouldn't be executed, and she still (STILL) has those first trimester hormones that are not to be messed with. Also not to be messed with? Smokin' Hot Rosita who is still pretty pissed about Eugene's shenanigans. She has a really nice conversation with Eugene about how he sabotaged the bullets, but she does punch him in the face "for the puke." Honestly, this is my favorite part of the entire episode. 

The next time we see Negan he's alive and awake in the Alexandria infirmary. Rick and Michonne tell him they are going to keep him alive to show everyone that things have changed and all of the communities can exist peacefully. They do, however, intend to keep him in a cell forever...so that vision that Carl had of Negan becoming a farmer doesn't seem to be in the cards. Rick writes Carl a letter after his visit to Negan, letting him know that he remembers who he is, and that Carl has brought all of them to the new world. 

With no major character deaths, the season finale ends with some kinda/sorta cliffhangers that don't make sense to me. Morgan goes to the junkyard and tells Jadis she can join Rick in Alexandria to start rebuilding. She introduces herself as "Anne" and jumps at the opportunity (guess the helicopter was a one time deal?). Morgan, however, decides he's not going because he's cray. He'll just stay in the junkyard. Daryl, meanwhile, drives Dwight out into the woods as if he's going to kill him. Instead he hands Dwight the keys to the truck and tells him to go find his wife. And finally, everyone goes back to their respective communities (Carol even goes back to The Kingdom) and works together with a smile...except Maggie isn't smiling. The final scene in her Hilltop office has her telling Jesus that Rick and Michonne wrong not to kill Negan. "So we're gonna to bide our time. Wait for the right moment. And then we're gonna show them." Jesus smirks and nods and Daryl steps out of the shadows and says "Yeah, we will." 

When It's Over

So there are some things I'm still trying to wrap my head around....

Carl had to die so Rick would realize "there has to be something after," but Rick waited until he literally slit Negan's throat to then honor that deathbed promise that really could have just been...a promise? Did Carl really need to die? Couldn't he have tried to be his father's conscience through these last two battles? Negan liked him and hoped to make him a protege - he couldn't have gotten through to Negan? In the comics, Negan does survive the war but it's Carl that keeps him alive. I just don't get why the show writers got rid of the kid. 

And also, if Maggie was going to bring someone in on a "let's kill Negan anyway and stick it to Michonne and Rick" plan, why would she choose Jesus? This is the guy who wanted to keep everyone alive throughout this whole process...now he's smirking at the "we're gonna show them" plot twist? 

And also, when exactly did Eugene decide the grass was greener back with his old group? He had been terrified of Negan. He had become Phase I'm a Dick Eugene with his former comrades. He had shooed away rescue attempts from the community that embraced him even after he revealed he's a liar with bad hair on a fake mission to DC. So many people died in the time Dr. Smartypants became an all obeying Savior...but now suddenly in between mac n' cheese, Smokin' Hot Rosita's verbal bashing, and Gabriel's tears....now is the time to sabotage Negan's plan?  

And also, Morgan is all kinds of screwed up, so the solution is for him to hang out by himself in the junkyard in Jadis/Anne's little IKEA inspired apartment? Did she at least leave him a flannel? Will his dead people visions fade away amongst the garbage? 

And also we've been listening to Daryl bitch for weeks about how he should have killed Dwight already and how he should kill Dwight now. It's been almost as tiring as Rick's repetitive "I'm gonna kill you" empty threat to Negan. So when all was said and done, he let Dwight go...and then went back to Hilltop to be pissed that Rick didn't kill Negan? It's a head scratcher. 

And finally, can we talk about Oceanside and the Super Mario Kart weapons they showed up with for 15 seconds in this episode? I mean, we endured HOW much Tara in that community? And we endured HOW much extra Enid time? And then we endured cutaways last week to Aaron's forest hunger strike, only to have Oceanside kinda, sorta, help out? I thought those ladies would end up being the freaking cavalry that would save the day with all of the time we've invested. I sure hope they contribute more in Season 9.  

Sigh. I've read a few things about how Season 9 will kick off. I've read that there might be a time jump to show where the communities are with ideas and plans from Georgie's "The Key To the Future." In this time jump I assume Maggie might be wearing clothes scavenged from the maternity section of abandoned stores. I've also read that the show runners might skip over the next story line in the comics completely (no spoilers until we no for sure), which might make sense given there is no Carl. Will the various communities move forward together and get along now? Will Negan stay safely confined for long? Are Maggie and company really going to become the new "conflict" on this show? Are we going to resume The Walking Dead with Rip Van Rick and that inexplicable beard? We'll see what happens when the show returns in the fall. For now though, I'm going to go back and watch Smokin' Hot Rosita punch Eugene a few more times. 

TWD Season 8 Episode 15: Worth

Tonight's episode of The Walking Dead brings us a character death that we've been waiting for (no, not that one), takes us to tree-hugging Aaron in Oceanside, and finally reveals what Carl wrote to his dad with the very best of intentions. Negan's return home does not disappoint and the hour takes some twists and turns that I was not expecting. Here's what went down in "Worth."

Go On And Take A Bow
The episode opens with Rick sitting outside, watching Judith play (I love it when someone is actually watching Judith) and reading Carl's letter. I did not realize until tonight how lengthy it is. Did the show runners really make Chandler Riggs write these letters himself before he left? That's a huge bag of salt being rubbed in the "we're killing off your character" wound. Anyway, we hear Carl's voice as he shares memories from his 8th birthday, school, going to the movies, summer barbecues, and Friday night pizza. Carl says he always felt safe with his dad and had an idea of how he thought life would be when he grew up...before the apocalypse that is. Now he realizes: "Growing up is making yourself and the people you love safe, as safe as you can, because things happen. They happened before. You were shot before things went bad. It felt like things went bad when you were shot. I want to make you feel safe, Dad. I want you to feel like I felt when you held my hand - just to feel that way for 5 minutes. I'd give anything to make you feel that way now." Carl talks about how there are regular people working in the Sanctuary and they can be part of the big world that keeps changing. They deserve life and a way out. Carl tells his dad that he has to make peace with Negan so every life is worth something and everyone can feel safe.

Rick finishes the letter and sees Michonne and Judith walking back into the house together. This is the future he's fighting for now. Rick nods to them and I wonder if he's seriously thinking, even just for a moment, about what Carl is trying to tell him and what he should do with that. The next letter we see is Negan's...and Michonne is holding it when the opening music starts.

You Look So Dumb Right Now
Aaron is still lurking in the woods outside of the Oceanside community and the ladies find him passed out in the mud after putting down a bunch of Walkers. He's weak, given he hasn't eaten or really had much water...because I guess he and Enid didn't pack supplies for their unapproved side mission? Aaron wakes and finds himself surrounded by the familiar Oceanside faces. He makes one more plea for them to join in the fight, but we do not find out their answer in this episode.

We visit the Sanctuary now where Dumbass Gregory is trying to make amends with Simon. He also wants to make things right with Negan and Simon notifies him that he himself is running the show. Simon's suck up game accelerates and he offers up his services to help manage things and navigate through the "politics" of Simon's new reign. When Simon dismisses him, Gregory finally grows some balls and he's appointed to the prestigious position of...coffee maker.

Dwight is outside the compound on a smoke break when Negan returns home. He asks Dwight the normal "do you remember who you are?" nonsense and Dwight replies that he is still "Negan" of course. Dwight explains that he followed Simon's orders because Simon is the Number 2 man of the Saviors. Dwight remains an awful liar and Negan heads into the building to confront his Number 2. Simon apologizes to Negan for turning the punishment mission into an extermination mission and asks for a chance to make it up to him. Negan talks about how ruthless Simon has been in the past and mentions a community where Simon killed all of the men and boys...which I assume is Oceanside, or what is now Oceanside. He asks Simon to get down on his knees and I'm thinking "Woohoo! This is it!" Instead of bashing Simon's head with Lucille though, Negan tells him all is forgiven. What. The. Hell. Negan then reveals a map to Simon and his lieutenants and explains the next attack on Hilltop, which will be done with the bullets Eugene is making.  So, this has gone back to an extermination? That's got to be a fake plan, right? What happened to people being valuable resources?

Dwight takes the map to his room and makes a copy to send to the Hilltopians along with a warning. Simon knocks on his door and tries to plan a mutiny with Dwight and other "like minded" Saviors. Because Dwight doesn't know which way is up at this point, he says he's on board with Simon. 

You Put On Quite A Show
Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita prepare to raid Eugene's outpost while the mullet man is busy eating mac n' cheese and inspecting the progress of Negan's bullet order. Gabriel is still sick as shit but also still alive and kicking. Turns out his bullets are duds and he has been making them that way on purpose. "I don't want any of my people to die." Eugene dismisses him from the assembly line and walks outside just in time for Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita to take out his guards and kidnap him.

As the trio walks down the middle of the road in plain sight in broad daylight with the Saviors' probably already on their trail, Eugene begins one of his nerdy narratives about the way things were and how they are now. Daryl threatens him with his crossbow and Smokin' Hot Rosita breaks it up, but she also tells Eugene to keep his mouth shut. Eugene reminds her that when he told Negan he was the bullet maker after her failed attempt to kill Negan, he was speaking up to save her life. Eugene assumed he would be killed with his admission but instead he had a new chance at a life. The mullet man goes on to blame Rick for what's happened and Smokin' Hot Rosita puts her gun to Eugene's chin. She tells him they are going to keep him alive in a dark hole and only let him out when they need him to teach them how to do something. Ouch. No need to even ask if there will be wine involved, Dr. Smartypants.

A group of Walkers approaches and Daryl goes off to handle them solo so his partner can keep an eye on Eugene....who then does something I did not see coming at all. Eugene puts two of his fingers down his throat and then vomits all over (the still) Smokin' Hot Rosita. Then he runs as another group of Walkers approaches. She has to deal with them or die, so Eugene does escape his captors and returns safely to his outpost. He is notified that Negan is back home and needs all of the bullets ready for the following day's attack. Eugene is more than motivated to make that happen. My main question here is - are Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita currently taking turns kicking each other for losing Eugene? Of all the people they have captured over the years (or even during Maggie's 2 year first trimester), Eugene runs away easily? Escape through vomit? Freedom via puke? Breakout by barf? You get the picture.

How Bout A Round Of Applause?

The "like minded" group of Saviors as well as Dumbass Gregory meet outside the compound and Simon talks about killing Negan. He wants it to be quick and respectful and offers the honor to Dwight, who stays silent. Simon then announces step 2 in the takeover, which will indeed be wiping out all of Hilltop. We then hear that familiar whistle once again and Negan arrives. Of course Dwight ratted out Simon and to my complete disbelief, Simon looks surprised. A series of gunshots from Negan's loyalists take out the other traitors, with the exception of Dumbass Gregory, and now Simon has to face his fate. I assume Negan is going to bash his head in, but he instead offers Simon a one-on-one fight to the death. Well hell, Negan's been practicing this with Rick for weeks so he should automatically have the upper hand, right?

The fight to the death takes place in front of everyone in the Sanctuary. In the chaos, Dwight hands his map copy and car keys to Dumbass Gregory and tells him his only shot at safety now is to go back to Hilltop and tell Rick what's happening. I still don't understand why he's alive, but Dumbass Gregory bolts (and finds himself back in the prisoner pen when he arrives at Hilltop) just as Negan does win the fight against Simon. Negan chokes the guy to death and I clap very loudly from my couch. So long, asshole. But the show actually isn't over. As Dwight walks through the halls with Negan after the fight, Negan promotes Dwight to his Number 2. What Dwight doesn't count on is walking back into his room to find Laura sitting there...Laura who knows Dwight is a traitor....Laura who was the hidden person Negan picked up on the side of the road last week. Negan's Hilltop plan is indeed a fake plan. He knew Dwight would warn Hilltop and now Rick and company will be walking into a trap. Dwight, you are SO screwed. Negan calls Dwight a lot of names but says he's not going to kill Dwight because he has bigger plans for him. 

"Worth" ends with Walker Simon chained to the fence outside the Sanctuary and Negan proudly looking on. Michonne calls him on the magic walkie talkie and reads him the letter Carl wrote for him. Carl's words to Negan are thoughtful as he asks Negan to consider an alternate way out of the war that doesn't involve one side annihilating the other. He tells Negan that even if he beats Rick's group, there will just be someone else to beat later (kinda like the 8 seasons of this show, kid), and he encourages forgiveness. "It's believing that it doesn't have to be a fight anymore, because it doesn't. I hope my dad offers you peace. I hope you take it. I hope everything can change. It did for me. Start over. You still can." Negan listens closely to this message but then tells Michonne he wouldn't accept their groups' surrender even if they showed up on their knees. He explains that he plans to start over by killing every one of them. Negan then says, "no more talk" and smashes the magical walkie talkie.

Well kids, there's only one episode left this season and only one more opportunity to see if the Rick/Negan dialogue changes, if there's a Rick/Negan fight that doesn't end with one of them disappearing with no resolution, or if a miraculous truce between the two sides happens after all. And as much as I groaned when the camera cut to Aaron, I have to assume we'll see Oceanside be useful next week. But will Dwight or at least the other half of his face end up as a casualty? Will Gabriel die some sort of hero's death in the bullet delivery? Will Morgan survive the hour now that we know his character is heading to Fear the Walking Dead? We only have a short time to find out...but for now, I am seriously craving some mac n' cheese. 

TWD Season 8 Episode 14: Still Gotta Mean Something

Tonight's episode of The Walking Dead takes us on various searches...the search for young Henry, the search for the captive Saviors that escaped Hilltop, and a junkyard search that I did not see coming. Rick's opposite day approach to Carl's death bed plea continues to be an issue, and Morgan's newfound "I see dead people" is making him even more dangerous than he was toward the beginning of the season. How do these men deal with their vengeance driven actions in this hour? Here's what went down in "Still Gotta Mean Something."

Lost And Insecure

The episode opens with a flashback of Simon's junkyard slaughter as we see exactly how Jadis survived the event. She moved a bloody dead body, positioned herself just right in the puddle of blood to appear as though she too was dead, and the Saviors bought it. 

Catching up with Jadis now, we see her in her very clean little apartment in the heaps (I had no idea that was a thing) with Negan's bat and one of the magic walkie talkies. Turns out she looks good in flannel. Jadis has a bit of a breakdown and keeps looking at her watch as she packs a suitcase. When some time has passed, she ventures out into the garbage to retrieve Negan, who she has tied down to a board with wheels. Negan asks "What the shit?!" many times throughout the episode, but we never really know whether Jadis is going to speak in complete sentences or cave woman syllables. 

Jadis assembles a wheelbarrow of salt and firewood and checks her watch again. Negan maintains that he did not order Simon to wipe out her community, but he says he will "own it" because he took a chance on someone who chose not to follow the program. Negan gives Jadis a sincere apology and she leaves him alone for moment to get a contained Walker she's had on standby. My palm hits my forehead pretty hard because every time Jadis wants to punish someone by throwing a Walker at them, the situation backfires on her in a big way. This time is no different. By the time she returns to Negan, he's wheeled himself to her suitcase and grabbed a pile of her photographs as well as a flare and a GUN. Good grief. Jadis threatens to burn Lucille in the not yet lit wheelbarrow fire and Negan threatens to burn her photos with the flare. Jadis asks him to leave the photos alone because they are all she has left, and Negan explains that he named the bat after his late wife because she got him through everything in life even though he didn't give her shit. Negan says the bat is all he has left of her. At that moment, Jadis' alarm goes off on her watch and she panics. She tries to get the flare away from Negan but it rolls into a conveniently placed small puddle and extinguishes. Jadis frantically tries to light another flare to signal the HELICOPTER that is hovering nearby, but by the time she gets the flare lit...it's too late and the helicopter has left the area. 

The next time we see the odd couple, Negan is free from his board and holding Lucille and Jadis sits defeated...holding her photos. Negan asks if Jadis wants to share what the whole helicopter thing was about but she doesn't. He offers to take Jadis with him so she can start over but she refuses. Jadis goes back into her little apartment and unpacks her suitcase, and Negan leaves and finds a vehicle. Um, no explanation at all about the helicopter and he's good with that? People are resources but he doesn't press her about the damn HELICOPTER which would be a pretty phenomenal resource as well? Instead, Negan hits the road and eventually picks up (I think) a wounded Savior escapee wandering around. Negan tells his new passenger that he's got all kinds of surprises in store for his return. I don't doubt it. 

You Found Me

Back in Hilltop, Ezekiel and Jerry and putting together a group to go in search of Henry. Carol chooses to stay, saying Maggie would need her if there's another attack on Hilltop, but Ezekiel knows Carol won't join them because she believes Henry is already dead. Only later when Morgan decides to head out on his own mission to find the little guy does Carol decide to go too. 

Carol and Morgan walk through the woods tracking both the escaped Saviors as well as Henry in case he was kidnapped. Morgan suddenly runs off, yelling "Henry!" and he encounters a vision of Henry with Gavin's neck wound. Fake Henry says, "you know what it is - you were supposed to" like we heard dead Gavin say to Morgan many times last week, and when Carol catches up to him, she realizes that her worries were on point. Morgan is effing crazy. He says he believes Henry is dead and Carol tells him she wasn't really there to look for Henry...she's there to keep an eye on Morgan. "You can't save the dead, Carol." Morgan tells Carol he sees the dead all the time, but then he moves on through the woods before Carol can respond. 

The duo reaches the road and encounters a Walker that has Henry's stick through its body. Carol wants to follow the path the Walker came from (just as well - there's a huge herd in the other direction) but Morgan says they both know what they'll find if they do that. Morgan leaves on his own to go look for the Saviors and Carol heads down the path to look for Henry...even if all she finds is his body or a Walker version of him. What she finds instead is a very much alive Henry, hiding in a tree near the water, calling for help. Their reunion is very touching, with each person apologizing to the other, and it sure is nice to get some good news tonight. Henry's reunion with Ezekiel at Hilltop is even more of a tear-jerker.... when Jerry looked over the gate and yelled "your majesty!" to alert Ezekiel, I almost lost it. Carol sits with Ezekiel later on in the evening and tells him about Sophia, and how she became the person she is now after Sophia had died. They hold hands by the fire and I'm thinking the Daryl/Carol thing will never happen for me. 

Surrounded, Surrounded

We've spent some time now without a ton of bloodshed and repetitive shit talking, so let's pick up with Daryl and Tara having another conversation about how Dwight sucks, but he doesn't, but he does. It's been over a day since the attack now and Tara has not gotten sick from her arrow injury. She maintains Dwight shot her with a clean arrow and Daryl believes Tara just got lucky. He still thinks Dwight should have warned them about the Walker guts on the weapons strategy (would that have made a difference in Hilltop's battle plan?) and Tara tells him she's not going to participate in any attempts to kill Dwight. Daryl then turns his attention to Hilltop's ammunition shortage. They don't have a bullet maker like the Saviors do. Smokin' Hot Rosita takes Daryl to the suspected bullet making outpost...which I assume is the building where she and Eugene first discussed making bullets...and she suggests they make a plan to take out the machines as well as the bullet maker himself.

Michonne is in the big Hilltop house reading her letter from Carl. Rick enters the room and she asks if he wants to read it. Not only does Rick not want to read her letter...he hasn't read his yet. So wait. Rick seriously read Negan's letter and not his own? Oy. Michonne wants Rick to read the letter instead of going out to find the escaped Savior prisoners, and we see Rick hold the letter for a moment, but we do not see him read it. The next Rick scene has him walking with his gun and approaching the Saviors who stayed. Alden (the hot one) explains that the men who left made a split second decision that was the wrong decision. He tells Rick where the men might have gone and asks Rick not to kill more than he has to. Alden even encourages Rick to bring the men back to Hilltop. Riiiiiight. 

Rick walks through the woods solo (no one else wanted to do this?) and he eventually bumps into Morgan, who isn't sure at first if Rick is real or not. Rick chats with him and says they will finish the Saviors together...and if I had a nickel for every time Rick was going to "finish this," I'd be rich. The two men follow a trail that avoids the large Walker herd, but they are knocked out and kidnapped by the escaped Saviors. Sigh. When they both wake up, they are tied to posts in whatever building the Saviors have made a temporary hideout. Douchebag wants to kill the men in their group that are severely wounded and perhaps dying anyway, and he realllllly wants to kill Rick and Morgan. Rick tells the Saviors he will take all of them back to Hilltop to get medical attention and food. He offers them a fresh start and a chance to become part of the community. Oh wow. Really? Alden's dreamy eyes and curly hair got through to Rick? "I'm giving you my word. There's not a lot that's worth much these days, but a man's word has gotta mean something, right?" Uh oh. I feel like Rick has said this to a Savior before...just before Daryl killed the guy. Anyway, Rick is looking to make a deal right now because a herd of Walkers is on the way. Douchebag tells the group there's no herd and there's no real deal on the table. The herd shows up with impeccable timing and some of the Saviors untie Rick and Morgan to help fight. When the majority of the Walkers are taken care of, Morgan and Rick look at one another...then kill the remaining Saviors. I feel bad for some of them, but I don't feel bad for Douchebag. The way Morgan holds him through a gate and watches the Walkers devour him is just fine by me.

Ask Anything

The episode ends with a bloody Rick and Morgan returning to Hilltop. Alden takes one look at them and knows Rick made no attempts to show mercy. Morgan sees Henry and touches the boy's face to make sure he's real and then tells Henry he killed the guy that killed Henry's brother. Henry puts a hand on Morgan's shoulder and apologizes, but Morgan tells him to never be sorry. Rick, meanwhile, goes to Michonne and tells her he loves her (awww). She tells him she loves him too and he finally sits down to read Carl's letter. Kind of a moot point now, buddy. 

With the season finale just around the corner, we must also be thisclose to an end to this damn war. I'm excited to see what Negan has in store for Simon upon his return and I'm also chomping at the bit to find out what the deal is with the helicopter. Whose is it?!?! Is this a Georgie thing? It would make sense given her comment about visiting many communities. Not sure that van of hers would have brought her to as many kinda/sorta thriving groups in the amount of time she's had to make copies of her book from memory and distribute during the apocolypse. Perhaps Georgie gave Jadis "the key" as well...and Jadis took the medieval plans so seriously she adopted time travel speak. Regardless, I hope there's a big reveal before the season is done. I've grown weary of Rick's merciless approach to things, Morgan's "if it moves, I might kill it" demeanor, and Negan's colorful and sometimes incredibly creative use of the word "shit." 

TWD Season 8 Episode 13: Do Not Send Us Astray

Tonight's episode of The Walking Dead focuses on the Saviors' attack on Hilltop, which finally, finally, finally did happen this hour. Our remaining heroes, sans Aaron who is still near a tree somewhere, have been prepping as best they can while Simon has taken command of the Saviors. Negan is still MIA, though Rick did return from their pointless fight back to Hilltop. Does Negan's plan to infect the enemy via Walker guts weapons work? Do his people completely forget the master plan in his absence? Does anyone actually get around to killing Simon this evening? Here's what went down during the very dark (visually) "Do Not Send Us Astray."

Come Crashing Through Your Door

The episode opens with Morgan out in the woods keeping watch for the Saviors. He spends some of this time, and much of the episode, having imaginary conversations with dead Gavin because why not? Morgan's been teetering on cray cray since he beat Richard to death, so we might as well push him over the edge at this point. As Gavin gives one of the repetitive "you know what it is" lines we hear throughout the hour, the Saviors are in sight. A series of car horns go off all the way to the Hilltop gates and it's FINALLY time for this battle. 

As everyone gets to their places, Ezekiel and Carol are telling Henry he has to stay inside the main building. The kid whines and I groan. Maggie stands outside holding one of the magic walkie talkies that does not need amazing range in this episode, and she signals for Negan. Simon answers the call, saying Negan isn't with them, and Maggie tries to make a deal regarding the prisoners that are still alive in Hilltop. She can guarantee their safety if Simon takes his people and leaves...but she promises to put a bullet in all 38 prisoners if Simon does not retreat. Simon could care less. He calls the prisoners "damaged goods" and away we go. Simon hangs up his walkie talkie and reminds the Saviors "our goal is not merely infection - it is conclusion." 

Just before the fight begins Dwight makes one last plea to stick with the original plan, but Simon seems to have no fear of Negan's return. Their conversation is stopped now by guns blazing all around them. That's right. ALL around them. Daryl leads a group charging behind the Saviors and chaos ensues. The Saviors fire their Walker guts arrows and start wielding their tainted knives. Tobin takes a slash to the chest (uh oh) and Simon almost makes an attempt at Tara with his ax. Dwight shoots Tara in the shoulder with his crossbow though and Simon moves on...Simon must assume Dwight has guts on his arrows but I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Also, if the point of this whole thing now is to eliminate everyone in Hilltop, I'm not sure why there's a lot of slashing and wounding and not a lot of killing that I can see. 

Running Around In Circles

Eventually all of the lights in Hilltop go dark and the gunfire stops. Simon takes his group and slowly approaches the main house, even though he can't see shit, and he whistles the tune we are used to hearing from Negan as if Simon is dominating this fight. Nothing could be further from the truth. Suddenly bright lights come from outside the house and Hilltopians with machine guns are in every window. A bunch of Saviors die instantly, some are chased down by Rick and a few others (Rick decided to have good aim this episode) while Simon, Dwight and some other Saviors flee unscathed. Maggie is bummed because she was hoping to kill Negan tonight and Rick assures her he tried earlier. He doesn't mention that Negan only had a bat with him and Rick had two guns but didn't even manage to wound the guy. Best leave those details out I guess. 

Speaking of weapons choices that don't quite make sense, let's back up for a moment now so I can get this Hilltop battle straight. Simon arbitrarily decided that the mission went from 'wound them' to 'destroy them' but then only showed up with guts weapons? No guns in their trucks at all as backup? You guys seriously brought arrows to a machine gun fight and thought you could divide and conquer? Sure, I guess the potential Hilltop zombies could do some damage, but the odds of Hilltop zombies completely destroying the community are slim...which is why Negan's plan was to punish Hilltop only. Simon, you're an idiot. 

Wish I Had The Strength

The next day as folks regroup, Daryl is having a super pissy discussion with Tara about Dwight fighting with the Saviors. Tara is suddenly sympathetic to Dwight's situation now because of the time she spend with the Governor not knowing she was one of the bad guys. She still thinks Dwight is trying to help them win but Daryl regrets not killing him when he had the chance. 

Rick, meanwhile, deflects Michonne's attempt at a conversation for a few minutes but then tells her he went after Negan when he saw him bringing up the rear of the convoy. "I had to try. I had to." I'm not sure why we needed to hear him say this to both Maggie and Michonne. Perhaps because he knows that Carl would be immediately disappointed that his father broke his promise so quickly? He needs someone to tell him what he did was okay? Siddiq approaches Rick shortly after and asks to treat Rick's head wound. He tries to make conversation with Rick, quoting a prayer for the dead he learned as a little boy that ended with the phrase, "do not send us astray after them." Rick is having none of this and walks away, leaving Siddiq to get back to his other patients.  

Tobin and the other wounded Hilltopians are hanging out in the infirmary with Siddiq and another woman who is apparently also a doctor. Where the hell did she come from? She is super unimpressed with Siddiq and that makes me smile. She's worried about his lack of experience now? Heh. She should have seen him fighting Walkers with Carl. Carol pays them a visit and apologizes to Tobin for leaving him the way she did. She explains that she was pretending to be someone she isn't back then and she left when it no longer felt like pretending. Awww. So she did (does?) have feelings for Tobin after all. He asks if she is going to leave their group again and Carol says she isn't sure. She then does leave Tobin to rest, since they both believe he is well on the mend, and I think we know what's about to happen.

Tobin dies from his infected wound that evening, he turns, and he chows down on one of the other patients...who then becomes a Walker as well. The female doctor who was bitching at Siddiq earlier becomes Walker food next (was there any doubt she wouldn't make it past this episode?), more of the infected patients turn, and suddenly a mini-herd has made their way into the main building. More attacks, lots of screams, and the Grimes gang comes to the rescue. Poor Carol has to put Tobin down and she notices pretty quickly that Tobin had not been bitten. She knows his wound was in no way life threatening, so what gives? Rick chimes in and says Negan had been carrying a bloody Lucille the last time he saw him, and he somehow comes to a very quick conclusion that the weapons the Saviors were wielding were all infected. What does this mean for Tara's arrow wound on the shoulder? I don't think Dwight had any guts on his arrows, so I'm sure she'll be fine. Others in the community are not so lucky and when the burials occur, it looks like Maggie has lost about a dozen of her people. 

I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Just before zombie hell breaks loose, Henry finds a machine gun in the lobby of the main building and he heads out to the prisoner pen. Seems he didn't buy Morgan's story about Gavin killing Benjamin and he's convinced someone in the pen is the actual culprit...though I don't know why. Back when Benjamin died there were tons and tons and tons of Saviors. There's 38 in this pen. I'm not sure I understand his logic. Anyway, Henry tells the prisoners he's just going to start shooting all of them until someone tells the truth. Dumbass Gregory may have just peed his pants and he's having a hard time convincing Henry he's not "with" the Saviors. 

The douchebag who did actually kill Benjamin hears screaming coming from the main house and says it's music to his ears. Henry opens the pen now and steps inside...because I guess the machine gun couldn't have fired through the large spaces of wire around the pen? He talks some more shit (I'm getting annoyed) but before he can start shooting, the Hilltop Walkers are wreaking havoc and have made their way to the pen. Douchebag knocks Henry over, takes the gun, and then makes a run for it. Some prisoners leave the community with him but others stick around and try to help the Walker situation. Seems they'd rather take their chances with Maggie than someone who called them damaged goods. I don't blame them. 

When the madness is over Carol, Ezekiel, Jerry and Morgan are searching for Henry but the little guy is nowhere to be found. Taken by the Saviors? Off on a solo mission? Hiding in the woods? We don't know and we don't find out this hour...but this kid is starting to frustrate the hell out of me. Is Henry supposed to be the new "damn it Carl!" now?

I've Forgotten What I Started Fighting For

And with that, the episode and the long awaited attack against Hilltop is over. I'm still not sure how Simon went so confidently into that battle and fled so shocked that the community was well armed and ready for them. I'm also really not sure when Hilltop acquired that lady doctor. Was she bitchy with Siddiq because she knew that in The Walking Dead rules, there's only room for one of them? Not that it matters - Maggie has been pregnant for 2 years now and it doesn't seem like she's in desperate need for prenatal care anymore.  

The Season 8 finale airs on April 15th and I've read that the All Out War is supposed to be over by the end of the season. Simon's ass-kicking tonight certainly cut some Savior numbers down and who knows what Jadis and Negan will end up doing? Negan is definitely going to punish Simon in some capacity, but will Negan cut his many losses and seek to rebuild elsewhere like Simon was hoping to do? Will he end up with Henry as a captive? Will Henry be the protege Negan was looking for in Carl? And finally, is Morgan going to get his shit together before his Fear the Walking Dead crossover? Just because he's heading to the other series doesn't mean he has to get himself killed...but I also don't see us getting through the season finale without another major death. We'll see what TWD has in store for us on Easter Sunday. I'd be all about resurrecting some folks! 

TWD Season 8 Episode 12: The Key

Tonight we finally have something new happening on The Walking Dead and thank goodness for that. We are so close to the finale at this point and in this hour we may have achieved just a bit of movement toward some kind of future. Granted, there is still a ton of the same ol' same ol,' but the new characters introduced this evening give me hope that Season 9 won't simply be dragggggging on the same stories from Season 8. Who are the new mysterious visitors? What do they have to offer? Here's what went down in "The Key."  

I Just Wanna Start Again

We open with Negan visiting Dwight in his room, happy (or at least pretending to be happy) that Dwight has returned to the Saviors unharmed. Dwight is totally unconvincing as he recounts his story of escaping Alexandria but Negan isn't calling him out on it...for now. It's time for the Saviors to get their Walker guts weapons and head to Hilltop, and Dwight is of course expected to go with them as one of Negan's main dudes. Dwight tries to leave a little early by himself on a motorcycle, presumably to give our dwindling heroes a heads up, but Simon notifies him that his place is in Simon's vehicle. Duh, Dwight. People don't really trust you...and you're also a bad liar.

The convoy moves out with Negan bringing up the rear in his car. He is accompanied only by Lucille, who sits marinating in a bucket of Walker guts. Seems Negan is really serious about keeping his weapon freshly disgusting. Just ahead of him Simon and Dwight are indeed truck buddies and Simon tries to get Dwight to admit he has some doubts about Negan. Dwight isn't falling for it so Simon says he is good with Negan's plan...but soon also says he doesn't think the "warnings" have been getting the job done. Simon doesn't believe Rick, the Widow, and the King scare easily anymore. I'm sensing a mutiny, but how would Simon make that happen?

During the conversation, Dwight and Simon see an SUV smash into Negan's car in their rear view mirror. Negan drives his beat up vehicle off the planned path as the SUV gives chase. Simon instructs everyone else to stay where they are (huh?) while he and Dwight try to figure out what happened to their fearless leader. The duo finds Negan's car all smashed up and turned on it's side, covered in (presumably) the blood from Lucille's bucket. Negan and his beloved bat are nowhere to be found though. Simon suggests that it's time for the Saviors to move on...if it were up to Simon, they would branch out and make new relationships elsewhere. Dwight thinks on it, lights a cigarette and sends Negan's car up in smoke and flames. The two men regroup with the rest of the Saviors and let them know their leader is most likely dead. But hey, they are all still Negan and should carry on. Simon gives a rousing speech and tells the Saviors the best way to honor Negan is to wipe out Hilltop...and no one questions him even though that's not how Negan runs shit at all. 

What Do You Say To Taking Chances? 

We pick up exactly where we left off with Hilltop last week as Rick and Michonne are entering the gates. Rick reunites with Judith and visits the graves of some of his fallen comrades. Daryl approaches him there and apologizes for going rogue at the Sanctuary. Rick isn't mad at Daryl anymore because Daryl was looking out for their people while Rick was worried about killing the innocent people in the Sanctuary. Rick now thinks they should just be worried about their people...which again is totally the opposite of what Carl wanted. Rick is ready to continue the fight and he heads out of the community to become one of the lookouts stationed not too far away. 

Rick is hanging out on top of his car listening to the walkie talkie that in this episode has range that doesn't make me scratch my head. He hears that the Saviors are approaching and instead of alerting Hilltop like a good lookout would do, he takes off on his own after Negan's car. He alerts NO ONE. Seriously. I have no idea what to do with him anymore.

Meanwhile Maggie and Smokin' Hot Rosita are keeping watch on top of the wall, chatting about whether Rick will be able to "come back" from Carl's death and how they might move forward after everything becomes quiet again. Maggie happens to spot a crate outside the gates and though it could easily be a trap, she sends Smokin' Hot Rosita to retrieve its contents. Turns out there are several crates as well as a note that says "If you fill the crates with food or phonograph records, I will gladly exchange for a key to your future." The note also includes a meeting spot. Michonne doesn't think the note came from the Saviors and hopes it is from someone who truly wants to help them...because she is still holding on to Carl's deathbed wish. Maggie thinks they should pass and Enid agrees. Shut up, Enid. Please. Just shut up. Michonne offers to go to the meeting spot on her own and Rosita, Maggie and Enid agree to go too. After all, Hilltop is running out of food and they need all the help they can get.

Don't Know Much About Your World

When the ladies arrive at the meeting point, they see a van and encounter 3 people we have never met before. The leader, wearing a pantsuit that could have easily come from my closet, introduces herself as Georgie and she is accompanied by Midge and Hilda who are dressed as some kind of solider/bodyguard/Belieber combination. The trio is not intimidated when Maggie and company draw their guns and disarm them. Georgie likes that Maggie's group can take care of themselves, saying she doesn't make offers to the weak. She apparently goes around and trades her knowledge for music (she does not accept spoken word albums) and food. Georgie hasn't found a community like Hilltop in a long time and is hoping the good people left in the world will outweigh the bad. She's looking for "an exercise in trust." Michonne wants to make the deal but Maggie decides that Georgie, Midge, and Hilda will come back to Hilltop with them.

Back at Hilltop, Jerry reports that the Saviors are getting close (I'm glad SOMEONE is reporting back), and Michonne again suggests they make the deal and let Georgie and her Beliebers leave before the attack. Maggie thinks they should nix the deal and just steal the food and supplies from Georgie's van instead. Michonne looks crushed. Enid jumps in now (shut UP Enid) and says Maggie is right. She takes slow steps toward Michonne as she argues that Carl is dead only because he helped a stranger...that things don't just work out. Michonne doesn't punch her in the face like I want her to, but she does take Enid's gun from her and says, "step back."  Enid leaves the room crying and Michonne pleads with Maggie to help Hilltop become the community Carl wanted it to be.

Maggie heads outside with a crate full of records, none of which are spoken word, and she tells Georgie they have a deal. Am I the only person wondering where the hell all of those records came from? The Hilltopians are avid collectors, huh? Anyway, Georgie changes the terms of the deal...in addition to knowledge, she also gives Maggie a sizable portion of the food in their van "in good faith." Georgie hands Maggie a book she has assembled and photocopied called A Key To A Future. Inside there are plans for windmills, water mills, silos, guides to refining grain, creating aqueducts, and so on. This is "a book of medieval human achievement so we may have a future from our past." Georgie says she will return at some point and expects great things from Hilltop. "Build this place up. I want those crates filled when I get back - cheeses for Hilda, pickles for Midge." Georgie sounds excited about Hilltop's possibilities and when she leaves, Maggie has a look about her much like she had as Deanna's right hand in Alexandria. 

A Hand To Hold Or Hell To Pay

Rick runs Negan's car off the road and approaches the vehicle as it is on it's side, banged up and un-drivable. He has a machine gun, and instead of coming a little closer to the car or at least around to the side just a little, he unloads a shit ton of bullets into what was the bottom of the car, not hitting Negan at all but alerting every Walker in the area that dinner is served. Negan and Rick then do the same friggin' dance they've done so many times in these past 2 seasons. Negan escapes into a building as Rick runs out of ammo from being one of the worst shots on this show. Rick switches to his handgun and follows Negan into the building but then runs out of ammo near a staircase...because I guess it's just been a really long time since his training at the police academy, and he and Negan stop to talk shit to one another as we have heard them do so many times before. Negan taunts Rick though, hoping to hit him with bloody, gutsy Lucille, but he falls and ends up on a different floor. Rick comes up with Lucille but can't find Negan right away. 

At this point Walkers are storming the building as Rick and Negan talk even more shit to one another. I feel like this goes on forever. The only useful thing that comes out of the shit talking is Negan finding out that Simon wiped out the junkyard. Negan is losing his mind trying to find Rick, who has now set Lucille on fire and is beating her against a door. They do find each other, fight some more, but it doesn't look like either of them actually get hit with the bat as they both wield it during their scuffle. Walkers have also totally ascended on them but for whatever reason, these Walkers are slower and less aggressive than pretty much any horde we've seen on this show ever. How Rick and Negan dodge, duck, dive, duck, and dodge and aren't completely devoured is beyond me. This reminds me of playing tag with a 4 year old...you don't want to tag them right away because they'll be really upset, so you spend a lot of time "almost" tagging them or not tagging them at all to keep your sanity. Anyway, Negan escapes from the "almost" Walkers through a window and when Rick gets out of the building right after, Negan is gone. Again. Because we can't seem to attack and kill him in a way that makes sense and doesn't waste time. Sigh. 

Luckily we do find out how Negan disappeared from the area so quickly and it's not some mystery that will be solved in Season 10. The episode ends with him waking up as a passenger in an SUV. The camera pans to the driver...JADIS...who first holds a gun to his head. Wow! Negan laughs, "welllll shit" and then Jadis knocks him out with her gun. Seems she has found some decent clothes and is out for revenge. Good for her!

I'm incredibly thankful for the potential awesomeness Georgie handed Maggie tonight. I don't know who she is or where she came from, if she's good or bad, if she has multiple suits she wears on rotation, if her record collection is super eclectic, or if she has pillow fights with Hilda and Midge while listening to "U Smile" in the van. I don't care about any of those things right now. I just care that in the midst of Simon being a dick (still), Rick and Negan fighting but with no resolution (still), and Enid being annoying AF (still), we finally got something new in this hour. I never thought I would say anything like this to end a blog post, but I sure hope Maggie gets to work on building some god damn aqueducts! 

TWD Season 8 Episode 11: Dead Or Alive Or

Tonight Jesus takes a back seat to God as we finally catch up with Father Gabriel and his quest to avoid a fruitless death. Much of the episode, and I do mean much, seems to be filler but we do get some questions answered this evening....though not the really important ones. We're approaching the season finale in 4 episodes and I keep thinking that we are stuck in Groundhog Day in this All Out War with Rick letting Negan know he's gonna kill him, the Saviors coming out of an attack still strong, Rick losing important loved ones, Negan being Negan, Enid being one of the most annoying characters on TV, Maggie still pregnant but you could have fooled me, and Tara being dangerously close to reverting back to Stupid Tara. But hey, we don't have to watch Aaron squat behind a tree like Golum in this hour so I'm putting that down as a 'win' for us tonight. Here's what actually went down in "Dead Or Alive Or." 

Oops...I Did It Again

Daryl is leading Tara, Siddiq, Smokin' Hot Rosita, Judith, Tobin (remember him?), Dwight and several others through the woods to Hilltop. Tara remembers how pissed off she is that Dwight killed doctor-in-training Denise and she's ready for him to die. Tara pushes a Walker toward Dwight, who is unarmed, and Dwight is able to wrestle the Walker to the ground and stomp its head in. Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita witness this and they are not happy. No one likes Dwight, but it's not time to kill him. Tara says she doesn't know why they've kept him alive for so long, clearly forgetting that the whole point of this is to defeat the Saviors and use any inside information they can. That part hasn't changed, especially since the folks in this group know nothing about Carl's plea for peace and Rick's promise that lasted 5 seconds.

Dwight suggests they take a path Negan would never go near because he thought it too dangerous (so this might immediately the worst idea since the last worst idea) and the group begins their journey through a SWAMP. Remember how well water Walkers worked for Dr. Bob? Several Alexandrians begin to clear the swamp and Tara stays beyond to, uh, make sure the rest of the crew is safe. She pulls Dwight off to the side, hands him a knife, and allows him to help clear Walkers...at gunpoint of course. Dwight apologizes to Tara for killing her girlfriend. This doesn't thwart Tara's desire to off Dwight and she points her gun with determination. Tara. Really. I get it. But Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita reminded you exactly why Dwight is still alive. What TF are you doing? Dwight runs and Tara fires and misses. She catches up with him, ready to fire again, when the situation is interrupted by Saviors nearby...Saviors walking near the path that was too dangerous...that Negan stayed away from. Dwight takes his chances and approaches them. He inquires about Laura, the chick who knew Dwight led the Saviors into a trap in Alexandria, and no one has seen or heard from her. Winner winner. Dwight leaves with the Saviors and does not say anything about the group he had been traveling with. At least he leaves Daryl in the woods with the crossbow this time around.

Daryl rips into Tara when he realizes what happened and Tara assures him that Dwight led the Saviors away and is still helping them. She's accurate but is she seriously defending Dwight now? After almost killing him AFTER Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita told her she couldn't? NOW she wants to mention he is an asset? Daryl's rage stays in tact as he leads the group on. 

To Lose All My Senses

Gabriel and Dr. Carson are still en route to Hilltop so the good doctor can tend to Maggie and her phantom baby. Gabriel is still sick from the Walker guts ensemble he wore when he and Negan made their way from the Sanctuary yard trailer back into the Sanctuary. He's so sick, in fact, that he can't really see. To make matters worse, Dr. Carson doesn't know the way back to Hilltop and they have no GPS...I think TWD show runners could have thrown a bone here. Sasha's iPod had an infinite battery and the walkie talkies were made via some sort of sorcery - there's no chance the Saviors had a GPS? Anyway, Gabriel thinks the best way for them to get where they are going is to let God lead the way. It almost works. Almost. 

The getaway car stalls in Walker-ville and Gabriel stumbles blindly toward a God bell he is hearing. This leads the duo to a cabin that Gabriel believes might be their salvation. As if safety wasn't enough, there happens to be a whole bunch of antibiotics in the cabin. Behold! Divine intervention strikes again! And it's not over! Gabriel accidentally (or was it?) knocks a piggy bank over and miraculously reveals a car key and a map just waiting for them! Who would've thunk it? 

Gabriel and Dr. Carson begin to make their way to their newly discovered getaway car when Dr. Carson steps into a Walker trap and Walkers begin to approach (duh, of course they do). Blind Gabriel is able to shoot a Walker that is about to devour Maggie's doctor, indicating again that God is providing safe passage to Hilltop, but unfortunately the two are apprehended by nearby Saviors. I suppose they could have brought Dr. Carson back to the Sanctuary so Negan could throw him into the incinerator, but they shoot him dead right there instead after he tries to grab one of their guns. Gabriel is a lone captor once again and he didn't even get his sight back in the process. Bummer. 

Just So Typically Me

Negan is wracking his brain trying to figure out how Gabriel and Dr. Carson escaped given, you know, how Carson was a prisoner and Gabriel was seemingly at death's door. He has to suspect Eugene at this point, so he assigns the mullet man to his own outpost where his sole job will be making bullets. Eugene will have security, staff, and even a couple of Negan's wives to help him accomplish his mission. Eugene's only question: "will there be wine?" Heh. Wine and bullet making don't seem like the best combination but Eugene's number could be up any time now so he might as well enjoy himself. 

Eugene's relief is short-lived when Gabriel is brought back to camp sans Dr. Carson. Gabriel maintains that the doctor coordinated their escape and I really don't think Negan is buying Eugene's innocence, even now. I'm still thinking a punishment is in store. In the meantime though, Gabriel will assist Eugene's outpost by sorting through shell casings. That's all well and good but Eugene is not producing bullets on the timeline Negan had hoped for. Eugene instead suggests a more medieval approach, launching undead limbs, heads, and guts into enemy territories via catapult. A lightbulb goes on in Negan's head similar to "Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch had a wonderful, awful idea." Later Negan demonstrates a new kind of warefare to his followers. He douses Lucille in Walker guts and explains that a wound from his weapon will cause an enemy to join the zombie club. He says Hilltop will learn their lesson..."dead or alive or some kind of shit in between."

My Problem Is This 

Catching up with Hilltop now, Maggie unsurprisingly has some problems on her hands. Food is running low and they are going to have to cut rations by a third to make it through the week...and this does not include feeding the prisoners. Dumbass Gregory wants out of the prison pen for good behavior and the incarcerated Saviors do too. No can do, Maggie says, and really those guys are lucky to even be alive at this point. Could she turn them into farmers? If only Hershel was around to help teach them to contribute peacefully, kinda like he helped Rick go from unstable, angry Rick to calm, farmer Rick at the prison. Aww...Hershel. 

Carol, Morgan, and Henry have made their way to Hilltop as well and Carol is concerned about what went down with Gavin. Henry is still on the warpath and wants to know if any one of Maggie's prisoners is the dude who killed his brother. Dude is there, of course, but the grown ups ultimately decide to tell Henry that Gavin was responsible. Probably the right call, though I do hope someone takes care of dude before he kills again. 

Daryl and company also finally reach Hilltop  (I say finally, but since I have no concept of what the hell the timeline is on this show, it could be within hours of them leaving Alexandra). There is a slow motion reaction to the news of Carl's death, with Maggie comforting Enid, who I guess she made it back safely all by herself (off screen - thank you), and tears flow throughout the community. The episode ends with Maggie having a change of heart and allowing prisoners a chance to stretch their legs outside of the prisoner pen every so often, work, and seek medical attention if needed. They will also be fed the same rations as everyone else. When Dumbass Gregory asks if they should all just evacuate before the Saviors arrive, she replies: "Look around, Gregory. How can we lose?" Just then someone yells that Rick is approaching the gate. Maggie quickly makes her way to the gate in excitement, so she's probably not thinking about the fact she now has more mouths to feed.  

Soooo after the hour Gabriel ends up back in the Saviors' custody, Eugene is back to engineering weapons for Negan, Dwight returns home and still finds himself in the Saviors' good graces, Maggie still has prisoners that she's not 100% sure what to do with other than not kill them, Tara remains useless, and Carol still looks pretty good in her Kingdom armor. Other than Negan planning a new weapons tactic, the only real takeaway from the episode is: don't be in any kind of medical profession during a zombie apocalypse. In this episode alone I'm reminded of Hershel, Bob, Denise (who replaced boozin' Dr. Pete), and Dr. Incineratorface. Now Hilltop's Dr. Carson joins their ranks and I guess Siddiq is now in charge of delivering the phantom baby until another doctor shows up and he dies? Maybe he'll become the onsite medic when Negan starts his death-by-Walker guts launch? Is this the cause of Rick's tree side "my mercy prevails over my wrath" wound that we've been catching a glimpse of all season? It would be pretty ridiculous to kill Rick within a few episodes of Carl, but given the way the All Out War has been paced, Rick might not die against that tree until the Season 12 finale. 

TWD Season 8 Episode 10: The Lost And The Plunderers

Last week's episode of The Walking Dead featured a goodbye the Grimes gang probably never thought they would have to face. After all, Carl had already been shot, lost an eyeball, lost a shoe, and almost had his arm cut off in this post-apocalyptic world...so a zombie bite on a walk home is a head scratcher in this story. I bet Tyreese feels a little vindicated since his "death by bite while staring at something" is still one of the more frustrating departures I've seen on this show. Anyway, tonight we catch up with some people we've been wondering about and others that I wish would stay on side missions indefinitely. We also witness more loss and bloodshed as the war continues on. Who is on the receiving end of a Savior's wrath in this hour? Here's what went down in "The Lost and the Plunderers."

I Ain't Wasting No More Time

Negan is still mulling over how Carl duped him so the Alexandrians could escape when Simon arrives back from his Hilltop mission. Negan's right hand douchebag is beyond frustrated with the state of things and he wants Das Sound Machine the garbage people punished to the extreme for their betrayal. I mean...sure they showed up with Rick when he thought he was about to win the All Out War, but did the Saviors not see how quickly those guys bolted when they knew Rick was screwed? Bolted. The cartoon roadrunner would have had a hell of a time keeping up. Negan must agree with me a little - he tells Simon he is only allowed to kill one of the junkyard dwellers after taking all of their guns. Right at that moment a delivery from Maggie arrives. It's zombie Dean, the Savior she killed in the mid-season finale, along with her message of "We have 38 more. Stand down." More fuel for Simon's rage that the old way of doing things is no longer effective, but Negan makes himself very clear that Simon is not to cause a slaughter anywhere. 

Speaking of Das Sound Machine the garbage people, we get a little bit more of a background on Jadis tonight and how she came to be leader of the junk piles, but first we have to talk about her Simon encounter. When he arrives I'm thinking that even though he is pissssssed, Simon is going to follow Negan's orders and then go home. After Jadis agrees to turn over all of their guns, Simon compliments Jadis' artwork and asks her questions about their solar panals and helipad (you're just NOW wondering about that?). The conversation is kind of awkward and then Simon just starts acting like a dick because he is not sensing remorse from the garbage community. He shoots two of Jadis' people and she punches him! Simon forgets about Negan's orders at that point and obviously also forgets about how Negan says people are resources they need and they can't wipe out communities...and Simon wipes out the community. With the exception of Jadis, Das Sound Machine the garbage group is no more. Simon and his Saviors leave her behind and much like King Ezekiel, she is forced to put down her own people. I will say that the trash compactor/shredder thingy she uses is pretty amazing - I wasn't expecting to see a conveyor belt of Walker guts tonight!

Here I Go Again

We catch up with Enid and Aaron now in their completely unplanned and unapproved side mission to Oceanside, and to my disappointment, no one immediately kills Enid for being a dumbass. In fact, no one kills Enid at all. When hothead Rachel finds out that Enid impulsively and stupidly killed Natania, she is out for blood and I'm thinking "woohoo!" Ultimately the ladies leave the punishment decision up to Cyndie since Natania was Cyndie's grandma. Does this mean she is going to be their new leader? That's neat. Cyndie decides it's opposite day at Oceanside and not only doesn't punish Aaron and Enid, she gives them permission to leave too. Cyndie says letting these two go is Oceaside's "contribution to the cause." They are looking to remain in hiding and still will not join the All Out War. 

Aaron is determined to stay behind and hide near a tree or some shit. He's hoping the ladies will eventually join the fight so he's just going to wait it out. Huh? Aaron sends Enid back to Hilltop to report the status of their unplanned and unapproved mission to Maggie, and they share a very heartfelt goodbye. I had no idea they were BFFs. I learn something new every day.

The Only Road I've Ever Known

Rick and Michonne are devastated. After they finish burying Carl, the two have to get out of town as Alexandria is sadly overrun by Walkers. All of that hard work...all of the obstacles the existing residents and the Grimes gang overcame together...kaput. They take one last look at the sign: "Welcome to the Alexandria Safe Zone - Mercy for the Lost, Vengeance for the Plunderers" and it's all a damn shame.

Rick decides he can't read Carl's letter yet but he is none too happy when he learns there is a letter for Negan in the pile as well. He turns his focus toward Das Sound Machine the garbage people because he doesn't want them to go back to the Saviors' side. When Richonne arrives at the junkyard they are startled to see a whole bunch of Walkers inside. Well, these are Jadis' former army in undead form and Jadis is sitting at the top of a heap alone, crying, and speaking like a normal person and not some sort of European cave woman. She explains that pre-apocalypse she used to visit the junkyard to look for things to paint. She was artsy even back then. "And then after everything changed, I realized this whole place was a canvas. That we were the paint. We could create something new. We could become something new. We did. This was our world - apart from everything else in every way." I do appreciate her point of view and her story...even though I think there were probably less smelly canvases to choose from in the area. Rick, however, is not impressed. When he and Michonne make their break to escape from the junkyard Walkers, he leaves Jadis behind despite her pleas to take her with them. So...Rick. Buddy. You JUST told your dead son you would make a world where everyone works together. Like, JUST told him. This woman WENT with you to the Sanctuary where you promised her victory and you were totally wrong. She is by herself now....Carl died helping someone who was by himself. Dude. You. Are. KILLING ME.

Walk Along The Lonely Street
Back in the van, Rick tells Michonne he doesn't want Jadis dead - he just wants her gone. He is getting emotional and pulls over near a field. He reads the letter Carl wrote to Negan and I'm not completely sure what it says. I paused the screen and saw a bit of content but I think the gist of it is working together and forgiveness. Rick immediately calls Negan on one of those walkie talkies with the most amazing range ever to give him an update. He tells Negan that Carl is dead and he had written letters to both Negan and Rick asking for peace. Negan is genuine in his grief for Carl, worried that his grenades killed him. He says Carl was the future and he had big plans for that kid. Yes, TWD showrunners, Carl was the future. Way to go. Now Rick has the chance to work with Negan here....to begrudgingly start to honor Carl by building that peaceful world his son envisioned. Nah. Rick goes back to that "I'm gonna kill you" crap we've heard so many times that I'm almost longing for the days where Morgan was an "all life is precious" broken record. Sigh. Negan goes right back at him by saying: "Carl is dead because of you...because you couldn't leave shit well enough alone... You failed as a leader, and most of all Rick, you failed as a father. Just give up. Give up because you have already lost." This walkie talkie with the most amazing range ever discussion is over. The episode ends with a shot of Rick hanging out alone in the field with that crazy "I'm looking around like I'm trying to locate the sound of an ice cream truck" vibe we've become so used to.

Listen, I don't blame Rick for not wanting to abandon the All Out War against the Saviors. Alexandria, Hilltop and The Kingdom have suffered unimaginable losses and he was thisclose to Negan's surrender. But promising Carl on his deathbed that he would help create the Rip Van Rick future and then immediately following that up by leaving Jadis in the garbage dust and reminding Negan that he's gonna kill him caused my palm to hit my forehead on a number of occasions this hour. Will Rick turn it around and at least let Jadis into their group? Will Jadis seek revenge on the Grimes gang? Will Negan throw Simon into the furnace when he finds out what happened at the junkyard? Time will tell, but I will say "The Lost and the Plunderers" was frustrating. Something is very wrong when I come out of an episode and my only thought is: poor Jadis.