The last 10 minutes of tonight's episode of American Horror Story: Coven is by far the most suspenseful we've seen this season. This was an awesome way to lead into yet another break (the series resumes in 2014), and I lost count of the number of times I said "Oh my God!" out loud during the hour. Here's where we are....
The Secret Life of Hank
We flash back to Chattahoochee National Forest in 1991, where a young Hank and his father are camping and sharing coffee. Hank is on his first hunting trip and he's nervous. His father explains that their family has consisted of hunters for generations. Well, at least we know that Hank is more than just a hired douchebag. When Hank's chance comes...he hesitates to shoot the witch and she tries to set him on fire. Hank's dad takes the flames on his arm and kills the witch instead.
In the present day Hank is hanging out in Atlanta where apparently a witch hunting corporation exists. Neat. Hank's dad is in charge and he is not pleased with Hank's lack of progress. He reminds Hank that his job is only to gather intelligence and not get his hands dirty. See, I'm even more pissed about Kaylee now. Dad tells Hank that he was sloppy with Kaylee and someone else from the corporation had to be sent to kill a maid and a desk clerk to cover up the murder. Dad also tells Hank that he ordered the attack on Cordelia. The corporation believed that injuring her would cause her to need Hank more...and give him more of an "in" with the coven. Well, dude, that totally backfired.
When Hank returns to wherever the hell he's living these days, he is subjected to Marie's voodoo powers. She uses a doll to torture him, then calls him on the phone to tell him "they die tonight or the next needle I use will put a hole in your heart." That's quite an ultimatum.
See No Evil
Cordelia has become a pro at finding her way around the house...she just drops things more than she would like. As she tries to clean up a shattered carton of eggs, not dead Myrtle jumps in to help her. She asks if Cordelia ever believed that she was the one who blinded her as Fiona had accused. She then asks Cordelia to use her new power to see that she is innocent. Cordelia tells Myrtle that she doesn't need to use her power to know Myrtle could never harm her.
Myrtle and the rest of The Council have a Sunday dinner, where the duo that solidified her death eat and drink their hearts out. Myrtle explains her return from the dead just as The Council is starting to realize they have been poisoned and turned into live human statues:
“Are you terrified? You should be! At any rate, I’m not going to kill you. Maybe after dessert. I did put a lot of effort into the key lime pie.”
Myrtle then removes one eyeball from each of them. She also happily cuts up their bodies and boils the pieces. So Myrtle is a crazy bitch after all. Awesome! She gives those eyes to Cordelia and the witch can see again.
When Fiona finds her newly healed daughter she and Myrtle have a pissing contest over who committed what crime and who is the better witch...then Cordelia essentially tells them to STFU and leaves to lie down. Myrtle gives her a hug before she exits the room, and Cordelia realizes that while she regained her sight, she has lost her power of vision.
Please Won't You Be My Neighbor?
Nan waits faithfully at the hospital for word of Luke's recovery. Zoe and Madison help her barge into Luke's room where his mother flips out on them. She says they brought a darkness upon her house, but Nan interrupts her. Even though Luke is in a coma, she can hear Luke's thoughts. Nan tells Joan to sing a song to Luke - a song she sang to him when he broke his arm as a boy. She does, and it seems to work. Joan tells Nan that she is a miracle.
I anticipate this warm and happy scene continuing but Luke's thoughts go down a different path. Nan says that there is a God and He is judging Joan for what she did to Luke's father. Huh? Apparently Luke's father's death was not an accident (I've never once wondered about Luke's father). Seems daddy was cheating on Joan and told her he was leaving her...he was then was suddenly attacked by a swarm of bees and his allergies to bee stings caused his demise. I'm not sure how a swarm of bees attacking a man in a completely sealed car in the dead of night wasn't suspicious? Joan banishes Nan from the hospital...and when Luke fully wakes up and accuses her of murder, she smothers him with a pillow. Whoa!
We Make A Great Team
Cordelia teaches Misty a thing or two about herbs and spells and Misty is able to channel her power of resurgence into a potted plant. Is reviving a plant more difficult than raising a decaying corpse from the dead? I would think not but what do I know? Misty compliments Cordelia on her ability to lead but Cordelia shuts her down quickly. "Fiona is the leader of this coven." Take it easy, Cordelia. Who was leading the coven while Fiona was off doing her own thing for so long?
Hank arrives and attempts a happy reunion with his wife. He says all the right things, throwing his arms around her and pleading for another chance at their marriage. He stops only for a second to look at Misty...realize she is the one he failed to kill in the woods. Cordelia is cold to Hank and that makes me very happy. She tells him "your shit is in a box in the closet. Get it, and get out." Ha!
Because We Haven't Seen Kyle Yet...
Fiona brings home a dog to help protect the house. The canine quickly finds Kyle who now knows the word "dog." Good for him? Kyle then kills the dog. So much for protection.
Kyle apparently knows all sorts of words. The three young witches return home from the hospital to find him playing gin with Fiona. For a Supreme witch, she really sucks at gin. Fiona tells the girls she "fixed" Kyle. He's not "all there" but she has turned him into a guard dog that will attack on command. FINALLY Kyle has a purpose.
Talking Heads
Marie's hair salon is hopping with customers when Fiona arrives with Madam LaLaurie's head. They make their way back to Madam LaLaurie's torture room where the headless woman (still donning that fantastic tiger sweat suit) gives a slight wave from her cage. Ha! Fiona wants to make a deal...actually an alliance. She tells Marie about the witch hunters not realizing that Marie is behind the attempted killings. Marie tells Fiona she will be popping champagne when the coven is dead, not helping her protect it. She then orders
Instead Precious Queenie take Madam LaLaurie's head to what I assume is her apartment or new living quarters and forces her to watch Roots. She tells Madam LaLaurie that she can't burn her because she would be leaving the world as an ignorant woman. As the television series begins, Madam LaLaurie closes her eye's and sings "I Wish I Was In Dixie." She then watches a history of The Civil Rights movement and her eyes well up with tears.
In the final moments of the episode, Marie arrives at Miss Robichaux's. Time for an alliance?
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| Gin! |
So in this hour we really had a bloodbath, but we also learned that the real enemy this season is a corporation of witch hunters. Who would have thunk it? What will Hank's dad's retaliation be? Also, I may have pegged Joan Ramsey as a nutcase, but a killer? Someone who would murder the son she's spent so many years, um, cleansing? Color me surprised on that one. And finally...as pissed off as I've been at Precious Queenie these past couple of weeks, I had a pit in my stomach when she sacrificed herself. Now, because no one really stays dead on this show, I'm hoping she comes back and participates in whatever battle is coming with the other witch hunters. Unfortunately we will have to wait until January 8th to find out, but you can bet I will be re-watching the episodes in the meantime!
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