It feels like it’s been forever since the last episode of American Horror Story: Coven. No amount
of turkey or mashed potatoes could distract me from the two week hiatus we had.
Before the show took the Thanksgiving break, there were many lingering
questions and shit was really starting to hit the fan. Here’s where we are:
Use Your Words
Zoe tries to teach Kyle to speak so he can rejoin society. Why would
he do that? I’m not sure what they did with his mother’s body….but if anyone is
looking for suspects I imagine that the suddenly not dead son might need to go
in for questioning. Madison is fine with Kyle being the way he is, as evidenced
by the way she enters the room and shoves her tongue down his throat. They
leave him alone with a computerized learning program so they can go do witchy
things, and Zoe returns later to check on his progress. Kyle holds her and
tells her “This road goes two ways. I love you.” Zoe loves him too and a
distraught Madison listens in on the other side of the door. This Tarzan/Jane
thing is cute and all, but again…I am so bored with this story line.
The Voodoo That You Do
When we next see her, Precious Queenie is delivering fast food
to Madam LaLaurie. She asks Precious Queenie what she ever did to
deserve the betrayal. She tells the young witch “You put me in here. You can
let me out.” Precious Queenie looks like she’s considering this but
Marie shows up and cuts off Madam LaLaurie’s right hand. Damn. It’s going to be
hard for her to finish her burger that way.
The Perfect Storm
Cordelia gathers Madison, Zoe and Nan to discuss the battle plan for
Fiona’s demise. She notes that losing Precious Queenie was her own
failure but also states that the young voodoo witch is dead to her now. Me too.
I can’t believe she could betray anyone wearing that cute tiger sweat suit. Anywho, Cordelia explains that they have one
shot at this and to fail would be a suicide mission. No kidding.
The coven’s devious planning is interrupted by a knock at the door. Somehow
Spalding is not available to answer it…neither is Madam LaLaurie. When Zoe
finally makes her way to the front of the house, Misty Day is on the other side
of the door looking for help. Yay! I’ve missed her…and I’m sure she’s missed
Stevie. She tells Zoe that a witch hunter tried to kill her and asks for
protection for her and her friend. Um, Friend? Myrtle!!!! I’m so excited to see
her. She’s got some very unfortunate skin and her voice is raspy and rough. She
has a happy(ish) reunion with Cordelia and states that she has seen the face of
the new Supreme. Misty’s power of resurrection far surpasses the feats a
growing Supreme encounter as they come into their powers. “She’s brought more
people back from the dead than Jesus Christ.” Ha! Get this woman a new Stevie!
The witches robe up and begin a ceremony known as The Sacred Taking which allows
for the ascension of the next Supreme. It is a ritual that has been invoked
three times in periods of crisis to ensure the survival of the coven. The first convening
happened during the Salem witch trials when the surviving witches decided it was time to move
south. The reigning Supreme at the time knew she would be too weak to travel with them
and she took her own life so a new Supreme could lead the group to their new
destination. This is the sacrifice the Supreme is intended to make when The
Sacred Taking occurs. This is what they expect from Fiona (really? have they met her?).
As the faces of the previous Supremes stare down at the women from the
paintings, Cordelia says no one should wish to be the next Supreme. She notes
that none of the women on the walls had happy lives. Fiona only lived it up
because she ran from her responsibilities. Now is the time for her to fulfill
her obligations as Supreme.
Remember Luke?
So, the delicious next door neighbor Luke was stabbed by a zombie
during the Halloween show, taken to heal…and then never heard from again. Nice
to know he’s still alive I guess? His mother dresses his wound and tells him
how evil the girls from Miss Robichaux’s are. When Luke explains that they
saved him, momma Joan slaps him across the face and says “Only Jesus can save
you.” Duh Luke. Joan then insists he cleanse himself of his sins. How? Maybe
going to confession? Prayer? Giving himself lashes? Nah. An Ajax enema is the
best way to purify these days. When Joan looks at Luke and says “take off your
pants” I wait for Frankenkyle to burst through the door and bludgeon her to
death with her bible. That does not happen. Instead, Luke tearfully climbs into
the bathtub to begin his cleansing.
Later on in the evening Nan goes to check on Luke. She’d heard his
cries and swoops in for the rescue. As they attempt to make their escape, momma
Joan appears. She has dialed 911 and is telling the operator there is an armed
intruder in her house. Luke freaks out and pushes his mother in the next room.
Joan thinks she has the upper hand…but then several bullets fly through the
window and take both her and Luke out. Nan can’t seem to catch a break.
No need to worry though – Misty arrives quickly to revive Joan as Nan
accompanies Luke in an ambulance. Cordelia lurks outside and finds a silver
bullet. As she touches one of them she has a vision of a witch hunter shooting
Joan. So, is Joan a witch or did he intend to kill Nan and the Ramseys
just happened to be there?
I’m Ready For My Close Up
Fiona is sick as shit, vomiting frequently and writhing on the floor
in pain. She has about a month left to live and the time is slipping away quickly.
Luckily Fiona has The Axeman to comfort her. He wants to run away with her and
spend that last month together. She doesn’t want her new love to see her decay
and he offers up the idea of Fiona killing herself so she could be free of the
pain. Fiona doesn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction but...
After another round of puking, Fiona hears music coming from Madison’s
bedroom. She’s startled to see Madison dancing around in a red dress. This
scene kind of reminds me last season when Sister Mary Eunice danced around in
the red lingerie while singing “You Don’t Own Me.” Fiona can’t believe her
eyes. Clearly she doesn’t realize no one (but Kaylee) dies on this show.
Madison claims she is the next Supreme and says Fiona will burn for slitting
her throat and framing Myrtle for Cordelia’s attack. She gives Fiona an
ultimatum – burn or swallow a handful of pills and go to sleep.
Fiona starts to pack her bags. She’s getting the hell out of here…but wait.
Myrtle appears and tells Fiona that Madison, the new Supreme, resurrected her
and reiterates Fiona’s choices. Fiona doesn’t want either choice. She tells
Myrtle she has found someone she loves, that she belongs to. “He wants to take
care of me.” Myrtle not so kindly points out that The Axeman won’t stay til the
end and Fiona will die alone anyway…and so Fiona prepares herself for the
pills.
She reminisces with Myrtle about the selfish detours she has taken in
life. She recalls a boy she met at Woodstock. This is a bit random. Is the
Woodstock boy Cordelia’s father? Do we care at this point? Fiona asks Myrtle to
look after Cordelia, her “most terrible failure.” She picks up a handful of
pills and washes them down with a glass of water. As she closes her eyes Myrtle
leaves the room…but Spalding appears. What!?!?! Is he resurrected now too?!?!?
To my relief he is just a ghost. He tells her he was murdered and remains in
the house as a watcher, just as the previous members of his family had been. Spalding
tells Fiona she has been tricked and is giving in to a group of lesser witches.
He hands Fiona a bottle with a liquid that will expunge the pills. I guess that’s
better than an Ajax enema….and she’s used to barfing at this point anyway.
The coven waits downstairs for the new Supreme to reveal herself. Instead,
Fiona appears... looking very much like Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. Side Note: Patti LuPone
(Joan Ramsey) played Norma Desmond in the London cast of Sunset Boulevard in the early 90s. Fiona congratulates Cordelia on
the plan she and the girls concocted. “I’m so proud of you. You really are my
daughter.” Cordelia buys into this nonsense quickly and tells Fiona about the
witch hunters. They need Fiona now more than ever.
The doorbell rings. Again, Spalding and Madam LaLaurie are nowhere to
be found to answer it. You can tell Fiona’s wheels are starting to turn as she
opens the door. Where is the maid? She
receives her answer immediately…the delivery at the front door is Madam
LaLaurie’s head in a box. She’s still “alive” so to speak, which is more than
we can say for the Minotaur.
The episode ends there and I do feel like we are getting somewhere at
least. We’ve resurrected just about everyone, we know that Luke is okay but his
mother is a whack job, and we’ve caught a glimpse of Frankenkyle possibly just
becoming Kyle. What we don’t know is – when will the coven learn that Hank is
hunting them and he’s working for Marie? WHO is the next Supreme? How many more episodes until we get a coven vs. voodoo
showdown? I’m so glad we don’t have to wait two weeks for the next episode and
I’m beyond eager to see what the next AHS hour
holds.
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