AHS Asylum: Let's Play a Game

Happy New Year! American Horror Story’s first 2013 episode begins with a jolt as Dr. Arden is bringing Kit back from the dead, so to speak. In the previous episode, Kit’s “death” was part of an experiment to see if the aliens would come a runnin’ to save him. Dr. Creepy lies to Kit saying there was no visitation when we know there most certainly was. Also back from the dead? Grace, who the aliens have apparently healed and protected. She is in the final stages of being preggers, which is odd considering there is no way 9 months have passed since she and Kit had their bakery romp.

 

Our strange little patient, Pepper, has been charged with guarding Grace. Up until now Pepper had not really spoken and gave the impression that she wasn’t exactly mentally developed. After some time in space, she’s become quite articulate…though the aliens did nothing to improve on her physical appearance.  As he tries to take x-rays of Grace’s belly, Arden scoffs at Pepper, telling her that just because she can speak doesn’t mean she is able to think for herself. She puts him in his place immediately:

 

 

“They’ve been watching you. They laugh at you, Dr. Arden. They make jokes. Knock, knock? Who’s there? Arden. Arden who? Arden you a quack who’d make a better duck?”    ZING!

Dr. Creepy starts to perform a C section instead, but his scapal flies out of his hand he stumbles back in fear. Pepper continues:

“No one takes a pinhead seriously. When my sister’s husband drowned her baby and sliced his ears off, he told everyone I did it. They tied me up and paraded me in front of the judge. He took one look at the shape of my head and I was locked up for good. That’s how it works with us freaks. We get blamed for everything. But if something happens to Grace in here and she is harmed in any way, there won’t be anyone else to blame. They’ll take you, open up your head and stir your brain with a fork. And when you return, you’ll experience first-hand how you people treat us ‘freaks.’ I’ll take care of Grace. Why don’t you go to your whore nun. Have her soothe your deflated ego.”

We are only three minutes into the episode and I am already salivating with excitement. Who knew Pepper would become such a bad-ass?

The whore nun (I like that name – wish I had thought of it) is busy tending to Monsignor Timothy who is healing from his crucifiction experience. When we last saw him, he had been nailed to a cross by Lee, the Bad Santa, who had subsequently escaped....because it's pretty easy to do that at Briarcliff. The Monsignor had a visit from the Angel of Death as he waited for rescue, but she was not there to take him – she told him he still has work to do.  I guess it was time SOMEONE clued him in on the demon possessing Sister Mary Eunice….God knows (clearly) that he wasn’t going to figure it out on his own.

 

Sister Mary Satan wheels Father Hotness to a recovery room to rest, and he lays down on the bed clutching his rosary. Hey - is that the same rosary you used to strangle Shelley? If so, I’m pretty sure it’s tainted and not going to be of much help here. He holds the cross against the nun’s forehead and tries unsuccessfully to cast out the demon. She tosses him on the bed and reveals the red lingerie under her robes (previously owned by Sister Jude). At first Father Hotness tells her to stop, that he has taken a vow, that he has given his body to Christ…but then she rides him like a porn star and he can’t help but want it. The, um, timing is perfect here because Dr. Arden enters the room just as the tryst is ending.

Soon after, a jukebox is delivered to in the common room. Sister Mary Satan christens the jukebox by selecting “I Put a Spell on You” and dedicates the song to Judy Martin. Stupid Lana finds Kit at that moment and starts to tell him that Thredson got loose…and then Dr. Thredson himself pushes through the doors of the common room in slow motion as the song continues to play. Seems he has taken a full time position at Briarcliff and so he can continue Kit’s “treatment” and monitor Stupid Lana and their unborn child. And once again, you guys are screwed.

 

Beyond screwed, however, is Judy Martin. She has been sentenced to electroshock therapy, and when she returns to the common room, Judy is a hot mess. Making her way over to the jukebox, she beats it for a second before Stupid Lana walks over and re-introduces herself. Judy struggles to remember her as well as her own name. She turns back toward the jukebox and now, my friends, we have reached one of the most awesome moments of Season 2.

Judy envisions herself headlining a song and dance number to “The Name Game” to re-learn everyone’s names. This scene is ludicrous, hilarious and wonderful. I can’t imagine how much fun this must have been to shoot. We, as viewers, have seen very few light moments in American Horror Story, and I imagine this must have been a breath of fresh air for the actors to participate in this as well. When the song ends we are back to Stupid Lana trying to get Judy to remember her.
 

 

A defeated Dr. Arden goes off to feed raw meat to his creatures in the woods. The devil nun catches up to him and accuses him of being jealous of Monsignor Timothy, essentially telling him to get over it.  She suggests they give Judy a lobotomy like the procedure he so lovingly performed on the fake Anne Frank. He’s having none of it and none of her. He pulls out a gun and shoots all of his creatures...declaring his experiments are over. Arden then turns the gun on himself but can’t quite go through with it. He falls to his knees, sobbing, and Sister Mary Satan calls him “pitiful.”

As Arden lays on the ground weeping, Dr. Bloody Face is raiding his office. Thredson hears a woman’s screams behind a closed door and discovers Grace – alive and in labor. Seeing an opportunity to threaten Kit into submission, Thredson brings Kit to Arden’s secret room just after Grace gives birth to what looks like a healthy, normal baby boy. Fearlful of losing Grace and his newborn son, Kit tells Thredson where he hid the Bloody Face confession tapes.

 

Thredson makes his way to the bathroom where Kit had hidden the tapes. However, Lana has accomplished her first non-stupid act all season – she has taken them, and Thredson is pisssssed.

Meanwhile, Monsignor Timothy is detaining Judy in the bakery for a heart to heart. She’s having a difficult time kneading the bread due to her brain being fried and all. Father Hotness proceeds to apologize, calling her “Jude,” and admits that she was right about everything. He also confesses that the possessed Sister Mary Eunice violated him and stole his virtue. Yup. That’s one way to put it I suppose. Unsure of what to do next, the Monsignor now seeks advice from his former loyal supporter. Judy’s words are clear: “Kill her.”

 

Judy moves on to the common room, watching each patient and trying to remember their names. For a moment, I believe she is back on track to become a force to be reckoned with again. Mother Superior arrives and I wait for Judy to air all of the asylum’s dirty laundry. Instead…Judy wants to say “goodbye.” She shakes, touching her temple repeatedly as she explains that she and the Monsignor are going to Rome. “We’re going to be Pope. We’re getting married. He likes my cooking. I’m a rare bird….” Oh hell. She does, however, ask Mother Superior to help Stupid Lana get out. “She doesn’t belong here. I put her here." I guess that counts for something?

Newly invigorated, Father Hotness confronts the devil nun again….but rather than address the demon, he appeals to Sister Mary Eunice instead. She emerges for one brief  heartbreaking moment to tell him she is tired of fighting. She wants to let go. And with that, he hurls her over the stairway to Heaven. The Angel of Death appears and informs Mary Eunice that she will take  both her and the demon with her kiss…the tormented nun is then finally at rest.

 

The Monsignor blesses her body and initiates burial procedures, but Dr. Arden insists that Mary Eunice be cremated given the whole devil was inside of her issue. He looks entirely grief stricken as he has now really lost her twice.  Arden places her body on the slab/conveyor belt to be put into the crematorium. He pulls back the white sheet, revealing her angelic face one last time. Then he climbs on top of her. Wait, what!? He wouldn’t force himself upon her know, would he? I mean, he's creepy, but is he THAT creepy? No, he isn’t. Instead he starts the conveyor belt and burns with her.

I am a bit distraught as I watch these two deaths. On the one hand, I know this is American Horror Story and most of the characters will probably die. On the other, I was hoping that Sister Mary Eunice would be one of the few who survived. She was, after all, so naïve and pure when the season started, and when I think about her back story as an introvert that everyone made fun of, this becomes all the more tragic.

 

 

With only three episodes to go, we are down to the wire. Mary Eunice and Arden’s storylines are finished (including his creatures), leaving us with the Judy/Monsignor/Bad Santa (?) mess, the(possibly alien) Kit and Grace family situation, and the Stupid Lana/Thredson/Modern Day Bloody Face conundrum. There is a whole lot of information to be revealed in these last episodes to tie everything up, and from what I understand, there is not cliffhanger type ending like we had when Season 1 came to a close.

Also, Ryan Murphy had mentioned that the clue to Season 3’s theme/location would be in tonight’s episode. I have to wonder if the jukebox choice of “I Put a Spell on You” has something to do with it. Witchcraft maybe? Might as well at this point! We’ll see…