The last 2012 episode of American
Horror Story opens with Johnny Morgan (Season 1’s Dylan McDermott) seeking professional
help for curbing compulsions. I’m already intrigued because McDermott’s
character last year was a therapist. Johnny wants to “stop,” and he will do
whatever it takes - therapy, medication and so on. His urges surfaced when he was a
child being passed around various foster homes. He began by skinning dead animals….then
killing animals and skinning them. Johnny did some time in jail for armed
robbery, and during his tenure there he decided he needed to find his birth
parents. Seems Mr. Morgan is the son of Bloody Face and he has since moved into
Thredson’s house. So this tells us that Thredson is publically outed as Bloody Face at some point.
His thoughts flash to poor Teresa
(the still alive half of the haunted honeymooners) tied down to his skinning
table. This takes me back to the first episode when she and her hubby found a
table like this at Briarcliff and attempted to…make the best use of it. She lets
out deafening screams as our modern day Bloody Face slices into her, and this
jolts him. He explains to the therapist that he did not have his father’s
medical training and “made a mess” with her.
When her next patient arrives,
the therapist is already dead…murdered by Johnny. Our modern day Bloody Face
takes care of the patient as well. The kicker here is – his therapist is played
by Brooke Smith, who you may remember as the abducted girl in The Silence of the Lambs. “It puts the
lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!” Yes, her. Buffallo Bill is
sooooo pissed right now.
Back to 1964 Braircliff where
Sister Mary Eunice is informing Stuipd Lana that she is preggers. Yup, Dr. Bloody
Face and Stupid Lana have a murder baby on the way. “But the good news is you
seemed to have conquered your sexual perversion.” HA! Apparently the inmates at
the asylum get knocked up pretty often as the devil nun explains that they are
used to sending the Briarcliff babies off to orphanages. Stupid Lana tries to keep
it together but when she stands to leave the office, she passes out instead.
She goes to Kit the next day and says
they have to kill Thredson (yes) and explains that getting him to confess on
tape may not even be admissible in court. They give it the old college try
anyway, and Stupid Lana tells Bloody Face that she is pregnant. He is excited
to be a daddy and tells her that now he has a reason to change and become a
better person. Thredson begs her not to let his kid grow up “in the system” the
way he did. Stupid Lana tells him it’s time to be honest and asks him why he
chose the victims he did…Wendy included. When he finishes talking, Dr. Bloody
Face hears his own voice on a tape recorder carried by Kit.
Knowing he has been duped,
Thredson thinks he has also been lied to about the baby. Stupid Lana
explains that she was, in fact, pregnant…but she had snagged a hanger from dry cleaning
hanging in the bakery (because that makes sense) and gave herself an abortion
the night before. My, she looks pretty good for someone who probably nearly
bled to death less than 24 hours ago. She also tells him that she will return
shortly to slit his throat. WHY NOT NOW?!?!?!?! Why
couldn’t she have stolen a knife when she took the hanger?! Have I mentioned
that I am still not pulling for her?
Stupid Lana makes a failed attempt
to steal a knife from the kitchen and decides to just use her abortion hanger
to kill Thredson instead. By the time she returns to the room they were keeping
him in, he has escaped. NO SHIT. How long did you think he was going to stay
tied up and hidden behind two mattresses? She begins to search for him and runs
into Sister Mary Satan. The devil nun confiscates her hanger and tells her that
she was unsuccessful in trying to get rid of the child. She follows that up
with “it’s a boy.” Zing!
Elsewhere in the asylum, Sister
Jude is no more. By that, I do not mean she is dead, but she is now simply Judy
Martin again…who is a new patient at Briarcliff (oh the irony!). She wakes up
with her head in the electroshock therapy vice and sees Monsignor Timothy
standing over her. He tells her she has become unhinged and accuses her of
murdering Frank the Security Guard. Looks like Lee, our evil Santa, survived their throw down
and claims to have witnessed her slitting Frank’s throat. Sister Mary Satan and
Dr. Arden back up this story and Stupid Father Hotness buys all of it. He also
buys Lee’s repentance for the murders he committed and my palm slams against my
forehead in agony. He even goes so far as to bring Lee into Judy’s room to “forgive”
her for what she did to him. Make it stop!
We now go to the common room
where Judy and Stupid Lana become unlikely friends over a couple of cigarettes.
Judy apologizes for what she put Lana through saying it was immoral. She wants
to earn Lana’s trust and promises things are about to change in Briarcliff.
Kit had run off to hide the
confession tapes under a bathtub and he encounters Dr. Arden who is oddly eager
to spend some quality time with him. Dr. Creepy takes him to his office, lights
him a cigarette, then offers him some malt liquor. Kit is suspicious, but the
doctor then describes the experience he had while trying to dispose of Grace’s
body. He now believes that Kit had not been lying about the aliens. Score one
for Kit. Arden asks Kit if he and Alma had sex just before Alma was taken, and
he reminds Kit that he and Grace also had relations recently before her body
was taken as well. Dr. Creepy thinks that the aliens are also studying eugenics and for
whatever reason, Kit is valuable to their research. They come up with a plan to
bring Kit to the brink of death (with a medical injection) to see if the aliens
return to protect him. Side note. At this point in time, with few episodes remaining, are we just going to find out that Kit is an alien but doesn't realize it? There isn't a lot of time left for other explanations, and I'm not sure why else Kit's sexual encounters and procreation would be under examination.
Lee seems to have the right to
wander about freely now, just like all of the other murderously dangerous
inhabitants of Briarcliff, and he makes his way to the chapel to pray….or at
least pretend to pray. Stupid Father Hotness finds him there and is just
tickled with Lee’s rehabilitation. Just imagine what kind of notoriety he could
achieve by saving the souls of the inmates. He baptizes Lee, but before they
can continue praising God, Lee dunks his ass in the baptismal pool and holds
him under.
When we next see the Monsignor,
he has been nailed to the cross above the altar. Is he being sacrificed for our
sins like Jesus? No – he’s paying for his own. As dumb as he is, he knew Arden
was doing unspeakable things in the asylum. He strangled Shelley and drove
Sister Jude to a point of such desperation she returned to Briarcliff with a
razor blade that would be used to frame her. Finally, he was too blinded by his
own greed to see that Sister Mary Eunice is evil and Lee is her pawn. The
episode ends with Monsignor Timothy being visited by the angel of death. Will
he accept her kiss?
As we prepare for the winter
break (AHS does not return until January
2nd) we are left with several cliffhangers. How does our modern day Bloody face story tie in for the remaining episodes? How is Grace still
alive? Why did the aliens want Pepper? Where did Thredson escape to? Will
Stupid Lana and Judy be able to take back Briarcliff? AND should Father Hotness
live, will he get a clue? I can’t promise that all will be revealed soon, but
Ryan Murphy does promise many deaths in the next episode….but we’ll have to
wait until 2013. Til then!
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