AHS Asylum: Kiss of Death

American Horror Story’s “Dark Cousin” episode opens with two incredibly pleasant Briarcliff nuns discussing Lilies of the Field. One is reading the book; the other just saw the movie. Written by William Edmund Barrett, Lilies of the Field follows Homer Smith, an African-American handyman who encounters a farm with nuns on his travels doing odd jobs across the country. After doing some repairs for the nuns, they begin to believe that Homer has been sent to them by God to build a chapel for the poverty-stricken town. Knowing he will probably never see payment for his work, Homer agrees to start construction anyway, as his life-long dream had been to become an architect. He refuses all help from the townspeople for quite some time before realizing the task is too arduous, finally letting the chapel become a community effort. When the chapel is finished, the great debate among the readers and moviegoers is – was Homer actually some sort of saint chosen to help the town, or was he just a handyman who wanted all of the glory from this community achievement? How many “saints” are at Briarcliff now? Will someone be able to save the souls of this asylum? Will the whole place fall apart because the burden is far too much for one person to bear?

The Happy Sisters cut their conversation short to check on Grace, who they discover is hemorrhaging badly. I guess the blood she was gushing at the end of the previous episode wasn’t an indication that something may be wrong with her? She reaches out toward an angel of death – an angel played by last season’s Old Moira, Frances Conroy. I am so happy to have her back. If we could somehow just get Young Moira involved, this season would be complete for me. But I digress… before the angel can kiss Grace, the nuns have her on the mend. More on this mysterious angel in a bit.

Sister Mary Eunice notifies Dr. Arden that Grace is in need of medical assistance, telling him his botched sterilization almost killed her: “All of her girl parts have been scooped out.” Dr. Creepy insists he had nothing to do with Grace’s injuries. He demands to be spoken to with some respect and slaps Sister Mary Satan when she mocks him. She uses her Jedi mind tricks and throws his ass across the room and against the wall. Still think she’s just moody, Dr. Creepy?

Arden uses his medical skills to save Grace, but not because he cares if she lives or dies…he just didn’t appreciate being accused of giving her a failed hysterectomy. If he’s going to take the fall for something, he’d prefer it be for something he actually did.  

Happy Nun #1 sings in the bakery while new patient (new to us anyway) Miles makes sandwiches nearby.  He is a young African American man who informs us the voices in his head get too loud sometimes. Indeed - they keep telling him over and over again that he knows what he needs to do. He tells Happy Nun #1 that there’s something wrong with the meat slicer, assuring her he can repair it. Does the asylum have its own Homer? Is Miles a handy man who can fix Briarcliff as well? Nope. What Miles does instead is shove his arm/wrist into the meat slicer in an attempt to take his own life.

Sister Mary Satan arrives just in time to see that Miles had started to write something on the wall in his own blood: it translated to “Shachath,” our looming angel of death. The devil nun looks terrified for the first time this season and demands to know if Miles summoned her.  The poor guy is getting stitched up and has no idea why he wrote those letters.

Security Guard Frank transfers Miles his own room. Miles pretty much tells Frank he wants to die, and Frank peaces out – doesn’t strap him to the bed or tie his hands down or anything. Nah… why take any precautions with a suicidal patent? If you close the door and lock him in, he’ll be just fine. The angel appears again, offering to kiss Miles and take away his pain. He says he is ready, and he tears his stitches out and bleeds to death. A noise disrupts his final moment and the angel turns around “Who’s there? Who dares look upon Shachath?” Sister Mary Satan steps forward, and it appears Shachath recognizes her “cousin,” a fallen angel. Mary Eunice’s pure soul tries to reach out at that point, begging the angel to release her from possession, but evil takes her over again quickly. The angel and the demon part ways for now.

When we last left Stupid Lana, she was in her own personal hell with Bloody Face Thredson sucking on her breast. Unfortunately for her, he didn’t stop there. We find her again now being raped by her captor in another very cringe-worthy scene between the two characters. Her face is vacant, almost as if she is having an out of body experience. She looks over at Shachath whom she has summoned. Thredson leaves the room, and Stupid Lana tells Shachath she used to be scared of death but is no longer afraid. Before the angel can bestow a kiss, Dr. Bloody Face returns to explain to Lana that they have reached an impasse (you think?). He gives her the choice of being strangled or having her throat slit – he doesn’t believe in guns. What a standup guy… Thredson grabs a needle and tells her he will knock her out so she won’t feel a thing. Stupid Lana does not seem comforted by this and fights him, eventually smashing the picture of Wendy over his head. She chokes him with her chains, breaks free from them then makes a run for it. Does she go back to make sure he is dead? Nope, but she does escape. Woohoo!

But wait, I totally forgot that Stupid Lana is just screwed in all aspects of life. So when she runs out into the street and jumps into an unknown vehicle, she finds a male driver who hates her immediately. Of course this is what happens. (Hey! It’s Ethan from Lost). I don’t catch the guy’s name, so we’ll just call him that. Seems Ethan just caught his wife cheating on him with another man in their bed, so all women are now whores. Does he know Dr. Arden, I wonder? Ethan goes on a tirade about his wife and then holds up a gun. Stupid, Stupid Lana sees Shachath sitting in the back seat and is legitimately pissed off. The angel, however, has come for Ethan. He puts the gun in his mouth, pulls the trigger and crashes the car.

Stupid Lana wakes up…. AT BRIARCLIFF! Sister Mary Satan tells her she is safe where she belongs. It really just sucks to be Lana.

Elsewhere, Kit meets with his lawyer and tries to explain that he was tricked into confessing. He asks the attorney if he was able to talk with Grace, cuz you know, Grace saw Alma when she was abducted by aliens. The lawyer says what we’re all thinking; “She is a patient in a mental institution. What she saw is not likely to convince a lot of people.” He then tells Kit that Grace is sick and might not make it to the hearing anyway. Kit attacks the lawyer and escapes from the building. Why wouldn’t he? I mean, he’s just an accused serial killer who was left alone in a lawyer’s office with no handcuffs. I’m sure that one guard outside the door is wayyyy more security than necessary. Hell, I think Frank would have even done a better job here.

At the half way mark, we haven’t seen Sister Jude at all. We finally catch up to her as she tries unsuccessfully to help the slain Nazi hunter in his hotel room. Mr. Goodman had told her a nun stabbed him, and when Jude runs to the telephone to call for help, she sees Shachath kissing him. She looks around the room and sees a newspaper article about the girl she had run over as Slut Judy, with the word “murderer” written underneath.

We flash back now to 15 years ago, where Slut Judy is fighting a massive hangover and her fellow band member is knocking on her door to yell at her because she missed a gig. He also notifies her that she is out of group and they have  already replaced her. Ouch. Slut Judy tries to get him to reconsider: “I’ve always wondered what it felt like with a colored man,” but he is not interested. All she gets in return is a business card from a cop who is investigating a hit-and-run. Slut Judy packs her belongings and hits the road with her trusty bottles of liquor. She awakens in the parking lot of a covenant with a statue of the Virgin Mary looking over here. This is where Slut Judy became Sister Jude.

Back to the present – Jude answers the phone in Mr. Goodman’s room to hear the devil nun on the other end. Sister Jude FINNNNNNNALLY realizes that Sister Mary Eunice is evil, and I start to think there is still hope for her yet. Sister Jude picks up the razor blade that had been left as a “gift” for her and heads to the local diner. While washing up in the bathroom (apparently Nazi hunter blood can be washed completely out of your dress in a small sink), Jude fantasizes about slitting her wrists and dying on the bathroom floor. Just a momentary lapse of judgement. Jude snaps out of it and returns to her booth where Shachath waits for her.

Side note: the scenes Frances Conroy and Jessica Lange shared in the Season 1 of AHS were brilliant. These few minutes of shared screen time now are my favorite moments of Season 2 to date.

Sister Jude reveals in conversation that before her days as Slut Judy, she had been a young almost married woman eager to start a family. Her fiancee had given her syphilis which resulted in her infertility. He left her the night before their wedding upon learning this news.  (He also called her a whore, because that’s what the men on this show do. I really wish I had thought to start a drinking game when the season started – a shot each time we hear the word “whore!”). Jude asks the angel why she didn’t die then, or on the night she ran over the child? Shachath insists it was because God had a plan for Jude, but it is now time for her to find peace. Surely if Jude lives she will only continue to encounter heartache, right? “You deserve peace for your extraordinary, tireless efforts to find meaning in this life. Peace is so close, Sister.”  Well Sister Jude is not quite ready – there’s still one last thing she wants to do.

Jude makes her way to the house of the young girl she ran over. Missy was her name. She kind of, sort tells Missy’s parents she was her teacher….and a nun….a Sunday school teacher? It’s all just so awkward. Sister Jude is almost at a point where she tells them she killed their daughter when the front door opens and a nurse who sure as hell looks a lot like Missy enters. It’s her! She lives! Jude tries to stick to the nun/teacher story, stumbling a bit through more conversation before leaving. What a relief! What the hell have I been doing for the past 15 years?!?

Back at Briarcliff, Stupid Lana demands to speak with Sister Jude. The devil nun notifies her that she herself is in charge now. Lana explains that Thredson is Bloody Face and begs Sister Mary Eunice to call the police. Obviously Sister Mary Satan already knows this, but she calms Stupid Lana, gives her some happy pills, then joins Frank in the hallway. Frank informs her that Kit Walker escaped police custody and orders from state police are to shoot on site. He wouldn’t come back to Briarcliff, would he?

Sure he would. Kit enters the asylum through the death chute but accidentally allows one of Dr. Creepy’s creatures to follow him. He finds Grace in the bakery and vows to get her out of Briarcliff. Unfortunately for them, Happy Nun #1 finds them and calls out for help. Unfortunately for Happy Nun #1 , the creature devours her and she is no longer happy. Kit kills the creature, but right at that moment, Frank enters and sees the dead nun and Kit holding a weapon. Following through with the orders to shoot on site, he fires….but Grace throws herself in front of the bullet.  As Shachath kisses Grace, we can hear Frank yelling at Kit to stay back, or he’ll shoot. Really? I take back the comment I made earlier about Frank being more competent than the police who were guarding Kit. This is beyond frustrating.

 

RIP Grace

We are fast approaching the Christmas episodes of AHS, if we can even call them that, and I did read an interview with Ryan Murphy recently saying we will find out more about the modern day Bloody Face soon. In terms of timing, it can’t be Thredson because he would be too old. Is it possible that Stupid Lana was impregnated during the rape? That couldn’t have been Thredson’s intention given that he wanted to kill her immediately after….but are we potentially looking at a “Son of Bloody Face” scenario?

Also, Sister Mary Satan keeps telling us she knows everything. If that’s true, then why did she seem genuinely surprised when Arden told her he did not perform any sterilization procedure on Grace? Why is she afraid of Shachath? As much as I hope we see more of the angel of death, I’m not sure how many more characters I want to see sacrificed in order to keep her around. If we’re going to have that much kissing, then please bring back Young Moira.