Episode 6 of American Horror
Story: Asylum opens with modern day Briarcliff, where the police have
arrived based on an anonymous tip they received from someone claiming to be
Bloody Face. The voice on the phone is not that of an old man, which is what
Thredson would be at this point, but I’m sure there will be a twist later on in
the season regarding the present day murderer. The cops enter the asylum and
look up to see three suspended bodies – color me confused because I though there were
only two teenage imposters….
Back to the 1960s we go where Monsignor Timothy arrives at a hospital
to give the last rights to a dying patient. (Note to self: I will need someone like Father
Hotness to bless me when I am on my deathbed). Among the many things wrong with
said patient, she has tested positive for TB, and her appearance is quite
shocking. Could it be? It is! Father Hotness recognizes poor Shelley as she
lays barely clinging to life in the hospital bed. He strangles her with his
rosary beads, and it seems Shelley will never make it to Paris after all.
We flash back just a bit further where Father Hotness and Dr. Arden
meet for the first time. The Catholic Church is taking over Briarcliff, which
had mostly been a Tuberculosis treatment facility. The patients there had long
since been forgotten, and thus the death chute was born as Dr. Creepy would
quietly transport the bodies to the crematorium out back. Dr. Creepy tells
Father Hotness that all of his research will be useless if he leaves Briarcliff
– he has been working on an “immune booster” to help prevent disease in the
human body. The success of this research would contribute to the greater good
and most certainly be noticed by the Holy Higher Ups in Rome. Father Hotness
crumbles so quickly to the idea of recognition, and I am greatly disappointed
in him.
The flashback over, Father Hotness confronts Dr. Creepy, calling him a
monster. Arden responds by saying all of the inmates at Briarcliff are human
waste, and their experimentation and mutilation is all in the name of progress.
Take Spivey for example (whom we haven’t seen since movie night). He found his
way to Briarcliff by exposing himself to children and pleasuring himself in
public. Lucky for him Sister Mary Satan flashes him through a hole in the broom
closet and he can hide his indecency. You can imagine how well this goes over
with Dr. Creepy. HSpivey ends up as an experiment as well, and Arden explains that
he is making “super humans” who will survive the nuclear war on the horizon
with Russia. America’s fears of Russian missiles had begun a couple of years prior. Regardless, Dr. Creepy’s work had been originally blessed by Father
Hotness, so Arden says if he goes down, they both go down. 
As old and sinister Dr. Creepy is, we can't let this episode go without also observing evil in its youth. Meet Jenny Reynolds, a dangerous child whose mother wants her
committed to Briarcliff. Concerned for the safety of her other two children, Mrs. Reynolds confides in Sister Jude (how does she still have a job?) about Jenny’s questionable
behavior. Jenny and her friend Josie had been playing in the woods and were
collecting items to make a wreath…cut to Josie dead with scissors sticking out
of her chest and Jenny telling a story about an assailant who killed the child
and threatened to kill Jenny to. She tells the police officers “He was tall, he
had a beard and a brown jacket.” This suspect was never found, but what Mrs.
Reynolds did find was one of Josie’s pigtails in Jenny’s laundry. Yeah. Creepy
kid. Unfortunately for Jenny’s mom, Briarcliff has no children’s ward. No
matter – Mrs. Reynolds takes off and just leaves her kid there anyway.
Where should we keep Jenny while we track down her mother? With Sister
Mary Eunice of course! The possessed nun is cutting vegetables with a rather
large knife and calls Jenny out on being a murderer. “I know everything. I’m a
devil.” Ha! Take that, kid. She says Jenny was born with the gift of authentic
impulse and encourages her to hold onto it. The devil nun then reveals Sister
Mary Eunice’s backstory.
As a very young woman, Mary had just wanted people to like her. She
had been invited to a pool party by the popular kids, and as soon as Popular
Bitch #1 called her “the guest of honor,” she should have known something was
up. But she was naïve and climbed the diving board anyway. Popular Bitch #2 claims
everyone will drop their robes on the count of three. Mary is the only one who
is naked under her robe, everyone points and laughs, and she’s mortified. She believes the only
place she can be safe is with God.
Sister Jude receives a call from Sam Goodman about his Nazi-hunting research
on Dr. Arden. Even though Anne Frank was not actually Anne Frank, Arden is in
fact Hans Gruber, a former SS officer, after all. Oh snap. Just to be 100%
sure, Mr. Goodman will need Sister Jude to bring him a fingerprint.
Before she can embark on that journey, she is visited by Father
Hotness, who tells her she will be transferred to Pittsburgh to work at a home
for wayward girls. She pleads with him, saying she has resotred order to the aslylum and just arranged to have Jenny sent home to her mother. Father Hotness doesn't care (and to my knowledge has no idea who Jenny is). The plans have been made, and Sister Jude will be on a plane Friday morning. I have no idea what
day it is now, but I imagine she has at least a day or two on her hands. She
uses this time to offer up some cognac to Dr. Arden to gain that fingerprint.
While Sister Jude continues her mission to expose Dr. Creepy, Sister
Mary Satan performs “You Don’t Own Me” for us, dressed in red lingerie and
singing to the crucifix on Sister Jude’s wall. This is the most light-hearted
moment of the entire episode, and it gives me quite the giggle. Thank you, Lily
Rabe. I have been SO grossed out for most of this hour.
When Mr. Goodman calls looking for Sister Jude, the devil nun mimics
Jude’s voice to get information. There is a knock on the Nazi hunter’s door,
and before Mr. Goodman knows what hit him, Sister Mary Satan breaks a mirror
and shoves a shard of glass in his throat. Sister Jude arrives in time to see
his nearly lifeless body on the floor. He is able to tell her a nun attacked him. Sister Jude, do we have a lightbulb going off in your head yet?
Back at Briarcliff, the devil nun gives Dr. Creepy most of the
documents Mr. Goodman had gathered on Hans Gruber. She has hidden some for safe
keeping in the event that Arden wants to double cross her. Dr. Creepy wants to know why
she is protecting him. Clearly she is not attracted to his stunning physique.
Sister Mary Satan asks him to trust her with his entire soul. If he does, “everything
will work out.”
You know who else everything seems to be working out for? Wicked Jenny. We cut to the same crime scene
where she killed Josie, only this time her mother and siblings are the victims.
A very large knife resembling the one Sister Mary Eunice used in the kitchen
sticks out of her mother. Jenny can be heard telling the officer nearby “…he
was tall, he had a beard and a brown jacket…” My skin crawls.
We check in now with Stupid Lana and Bloody Face. She awakens in a
bed, surrounded by pictures of Wendy which comforts her for a second until she
hears Thredson’s voice asking “is there anything more heavenly than waking from
a nap to the smell of croque-monsieur?” Being ignorant in the world of fine
dining I had to do research to determine croque-monsieur is a grilled ham and
cheese sandwich. Stupid Lana asks about Wendy’s body. Thredson tells her he put
Wendy somewhere she will never be found (in the croque-monsieur?), because now
that Kit Walker has confessed, we can’t have any more bodies turning up.
Bloody Face serves “the perfect mommy snack” and reveals that he never
knew his mother. At the age of 33, she had abandoned him to an orphanage as a
baby. Thredson notes that Stupid Lana is also 33 (coincidently the age Jesus
died). She explains that she also knows what it’s like to be abandoned as Wendy
had left her to rot at Briarcliff….except for the part where she really didn’t….because
Bloody Face killed her before she could act on saving Stupid Lana. Thredson now
feels that he can open up to her – she is “the one.”
Thredson used his abandonment issues toward a degree in medicine and psychology.
Through his studies he realized that while he was taken care of at the orphanage, he
lacked affection and a mother’s loving touch. He craved skin to skin contact.
During a gross anatomy class in particular, Thredson tried to “connect” with a
corpse of a woman who was 33. She was cold and stiff obviously, and he needed
someone a little more lively….warm, living skin. This is why he started killing. Stupid Lana trembles and
starts to cry. He shushes her, saying “Now that you’re here, all of that work
is behind me…Mommy.”
Interrupting this tender moment, Kit uses his one phone call from jail to contact Dr.
Bloody Face to set things straight. See, I would have thought Kit knew that the
good doctor set him up. He gets it now, calling Thredson a lying bastard and
slamming the phone down.
Bloody Face returns to Stupid Lana. After some additional dialogue that
makes my skin crawl, Stupid Lana convinces him that she will be his mother and
calls him “baby.” You think that’s disgusting? Thredson follows it up with “baby
needs colostrum” and puts his mouth on her breast. EWWWWWWWWW. If Stupid Lana
wasn’t repulsed by men before, this should seal the deal.
Our hour ends back in present day Briarcliff, where the policemen are trying
to identify the bodies hanging above the Stairway to Heaven. Apparently all
three are teenagers, and I guess there was an additional Bloody Face wannabe
after all. An officer discovers another
body in a nearby room. It’s newlywed Adam Levine (Leo). Guess all those
fairytales are full of shit. No sight of his bride though – was she not killed
by the teenage imposters? Apparently not. She’s on a table with Bloody Face
looming over her. Again, it can’t be Thredson. This Bloody Face is not in his
70s, which is about how old Thredson would be at this point.
So this episode was about backstories of abandonment and betrayal.
Each of our characters had their own “Judas”…Lana felt deceived by Wendy,
Thredson by his mother, Jenny by her mother, Sister Jude by Monsignor Timothy,
Monsignor Timothy by Dr. Arden, and Sister Mary Eunice by her peers. What is
the evil nun’s plan for the asylum? Was there a part of her singing “You Don’t
Own Me” with the devil possessing her? Is there a part of her who enjoys the
power she/the demon currently has? Frances Conroy (last year’s Old Moira)
returns in the next episode as someone who makes this devil incredibly anxious.
Can’t wait to see how this plays out!
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