In true American Horror Story fashion, Halloween extended to one more episode and the bloodshed continued in a big way. Iris and Liz Taylor take center stage tonight and become BFFs while John and Alex create some shenanigans in the background and generally annoy me. Last week's episode was definitely better, but I think "Room Service" set up some interesting developments going into the upcoming episodes. Here's what happened:
Control Your Poison Babe
Alex is having a tough time adjusting to her new, um, situation. While being a doctor allows her easy access to blood banks, having an occupation where you are constantly around people (and their veins) can be quite a challenge. She's also a little concerned about her 75 degree body temperature. Details...
Remember Max? He's the kid who has the measles because his parents are anti-vaccine. He's also in the hospital now with pneumonia, which is turning into a staph infection...and things just aren't looking good. Mom is very distraught and emotional now that she realizes her son probably won't make it (guess she is beyond worrying about what medications "cause" autism), but Alex tells her she won't give up on Max and sends her to go get coffee and gather herself.
Now, we didn't actually hear Mother Monster explain all of the rules to Alex in last week's episode when she turned her, but I'm assuming Alex is aware that The Countess' creations are not supposed to do any creating themselves. Well, Alex is out of ideas to heal Max so she uses a syringe to insert her blood into his IV without really thinking about the consequences. Max, of course, makes a miraculous recovery and is home in time for Halloween. Alex doesn't see any of the aftermath though because she peaces out and becomes a governess for The Countess' children.
The next time we see Max, he's killing/feeding on his parents on their kitchen floor. Breakfast is served. He then hops on the school bus to get to his classroom party. Max also has a little girlfriend at school, Madeline, and they sneak off for a smooch....where Max bites his lip so she can taste his blood. Ew. The teacher finds them just as the Madeline is turning, so Max slashes her throat so his girlfriend can feed. He tells her (and eventually the rest of his class) that if she drinks his blood and then the teacher's, she will feel better then she ever has before. Suddenly Max has an army of vampires by his side and they are feeding on faculty. The school goes on lock down and the police arrive, but the kids all have the same story about a man in a mask who terrorized the school. With no victims alive and with everyone else behind closed doors in the school during the "attack," the police believe the story with no problem.
Alex, you suck. But not as much as...
If It's Not Rough, It Isn't Fun
John goes to his boss and tells him all about his dinner with the dead serial killers. He wants a warrant to essentially rip apart the Hotel Cortez. Given all of the stress and emotional issues John has had in recent years, this is the last straw for the boss man. John is fired and still clueless and still sucks more than Alex.
He wakes up in his hotel room later that night (because that hasn't happened yet this episode) with a bunch of scratches on him after an apparent wild night with Sally. There's no evidence of a spiraled strap on though so he lucked out there. John doesn't remember anything that happened and he asks her to leave his room immediately. Sally is pisssssssed. She informs him that what they did that night will happen again and again because it's their destiny. "And you can't fight destiny." Oh John, you just can't win. Too bad your wife is a vampire snuggled with your vampire son in a coffin downstairs. Oh, and when was the last time you checked in with your daughter at her (I think) grandparents' house? Alex sure as hell isn't doing any skyping.
Don't Be A Drag
Donovan brings his mother to see Ramona Royale and tells her that he can help with her revenge plot after all. He explains that Iris has the "in" at the hotel and can be her spy. Iris isn't too keen on this idea because she believes The Countess will see right through her. Donovan says "she never looks at you - you're invisible," and Ramona thinks this plan is perfect.
Iris has the shakes because she's starving. She returns to the hotel and Liz Taylor mixes her up a "drink" from The Countess' secret stash. Liz reminds her though that she's going to need to feed eventually. Iris is not looking forward to this deed, but then two new guests arrive - a young couple featuring Glee's Darren Criss. They're assholes so Iris' guilt starts to dwindle. She gives them a room and heads back down to the front desk, but they are already calling to order room service. Clearly these two don't understand that this hotel doesn't have pâté. Iris hangs up the phone, crying, and Liz Taylor offers up a solution in the form of cat food. HA!
While they prepare the room service order, Iris notes that she and Liz have talked more today than they have in the entire time they've worked at the hotel. Iris tells her "I look at you, and all I see is questions." Liz invites her to ask away...and we get Liz Taylor's back story.
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| Baby, you were born this way. |
We flash back to 1984 where Liz was a married man from Topeka, Kansas. He married his wife because they were the same dress size and when he was alone, he would wear women's clothing. Liz traveled frequently for work and ended up at the Hotel Cortez on one of those trips. He slipped on a nightgown, heels, and a fur coat and ordered himself some champagne. The Countess appeared then and told him she saw him in the lobby. "You dress like a man, walk like a man...but you smell like a woman." He begins to cry, saying he feels ugly. The Countess replies "Let me help you become what you were born to be - a goddess." And so Liz Taylor was born. The Countess didn't turn her into a vampire. Instead, she just gave Liz a makeover and a job. She also murdered Liz's traveling companions after they bullied Liz and swore to ridicule her back at their office. All in a day's work.
Liz motivates Iris to be just as brave as she was, and Iris brings the room service tray up to the assholes. They begin to eat the cat food pate which is "somewhat decent," but they're pissed that Iris didn't bring them any green vegetables. They continue to act like spoiled brats and Iris eventually slices the girl's throat with a corkscrew and stabs the shit out of the guy with a knife. She drinks their blood and Liz helps her dump the bodies down one of the chutes. Iris is pretty pleased with the whole thing saying, "I never knew how to live until I died."
I must say that I did enjoy seeing the budding friendship between Liz and Iris tonight. It's about time we found out how Liz got so fabulous, and it was beyond time for Iris to grow some balls. I'm not sure how her new role as Ramona's spy will turn out given she is finally coming out of her shell, but Matt Bomer is a beautiful man and Angela Bassett is an amazing actress, so I need to see more of them and soon. Will Alex's gig as governess thwart Ramona's plans? Will Alex's own creation of vampire children come back to bite her (so to speak)? Will John get his shit together and solve the Ten Commandments Killer case without a badge and gun? And finally, can The Countess convince Will Drake to marry her? I feel like we haven't heard a peep from him in forever.
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