Well kids, tonight's episode of American Horror Story keeps the bloodbath coming as we are one step closer to finding out who is the lone survivor of My Roanoke Nightmare: Three Days In Hell. Do the hillbillies end up making meat of all of their captives? Does not Lady Gaga come back and beat Shelby's ass for killing Matt? Is the "real" butcher headed on a rampage? Who exactly meets a disgusting demise in Chapter 8? Here's where we are after the hour...
I'm Guided To Another World
We pick up with Agnes taking a meat cleaver to the head and Dominic freaking out from the bedroom window upstairs. The torchbearers outside are coming for Dominic and Shelby and Dominic is still screaming at the cameras for Sydney to get them out of the house. Idiot. Shelby tells him no one is coming to save them and leads him to Edward's artwork escape tunnel hoping he might be there to help. No dice. The Chen family is there instead, climbing all over the walls like they just hopped out of The Grudge. Back into the house we go.
Dominic and Shelby make it into the kitchen and Dominic injures his hand in the process. They have a moment of quiet before the Piggy Man attacks. Shelby stabs him, she and Dominic run out into the hallway, and they come face to...something with the Chens. The chandeleir drops and smashes Shelby's leg and Dominic barely gets her up the stairs away from the paranormal activity. They find themselves in the same bedroom once again and Shelby tearfully laughs. "Dominic, I killed the only man I ever loved. I took his life with my own hands. There's no place left for me." She then slits her own throat and bleeds out. Well shit.
Can You Take Me Higher?
Meanwhile Mama Polk is sharpening her knife to slice off some more Lee jerky while her son maintains the camera on Lee's cell phone. For whatever reason Mama decides to tell Lee about their family history and how they ended up in their current state...sparing you the details, let's just say the Polks keep it in the family. Mama hands the knife off to her boy to cut off "a nice piece of filet" and leaves him to it.
The next time we see Lee and the hillbilly boy, she's missing an ear and begging for water. He complies and asks her why she's crying. Lee tells him about Flora and says that every mother loves their children. The young Polk disagrees. He has some confidence issues - he wasn't even important enough to be in the Season 1 story of My Roanoke Nightmare. Lee sees an opportunity as he talks about who he wishes he could be. One of his great grandfathers or uncles or cousins or something (I've lost track of their inbred timeline at this point) was the Piggy Man in the 1800s. He slaughtered hogs but also found that he had a knack for slaughtering people after being inspired by The Butcher. "Made himself a legend." Lee tells the boy he could be even bigger than the Piggy Man, but this backfires and he screams at her to shut her mouth.
Later on, a very weary Lee sees the Polk boy snorting some cocaine and he offers her some. She tells him she's an addict and trying to stay sober. I'm just about to say "Lee, it doesn't matter at this point" when she says "It doesn't matter, does it? There's no 'after' after this." He tells her that traditionally after they take the best parts, they make bone broth with the rest. Lee eagerly snorts a line and I don't blame her. She asks to see Flora and of course the hillbilly can't let her. She compromises and makes a video with her phone in hopes that the found footage will also find Flora. In the video she CONFESSES TO KILLING MASON! Holy hell!
The Polk boy is intrigued by Lee's ability to kill. He says he's never killed anyone before and Lee will be his first. She uses the term "pop your cherry" and he stands and moves himself very close to her. She goes along with it. "Do you want to touch me? I want you to. I want to make you feel good." He unties one of Lee's hands so she can, um, make him feel good and she puts him in a headlock and strangles him...and then stabs him in the head for good measure.
Let's Make Our Escape
Monet and Audrey are still locked up in an alternate pen on the Polk farm and to my disappointment, Sarah Paulson is still using an unbelievably whiny British accent. She's killing me. Two of the other hillbillies are still trying to figure out the difference between the actors and the Millers but decide they don't really care. Both women have teeth and both women can supply the goods for a new tooth necklace. Those are all the rage in the incest world apparently. Monet's chair breaks in the process and she beats the shit out of one of the Polks while the other one leaves to get a pair of teeth-pulling pliers. Monet then leaves Aurdrey behind, saying she'd be back for her. Heh. She ain't coming back for you.
Mama watches over Audrey while her remaining kin chase after Monet, and Lee creeps in to saves the day. She bashes Mama and unties Audrey....who then proceeds to finish Mama off by crushing her skull. They escape and make their way back to the house through Edward's tunnel. There they find what's left of Matt and Lee has a total breakdown. Audrey drags her upstairs and they end up in the same room with Dominic and a very dead Shelby. Assuming Dominic killed them both, the women throw Dominic into the hallway and lock him out of the bedroom. The Piggy Man comes a callin' just then and stabs the hell out of Dominic. And then there were...three? Where's Monet?
The sun comes up and Audrey and Lee decide to go back to the Polk farm and try to recover any video footage they can before hot-wiring the hillbilly truck. Lee convinces Audrey that even though she killed Mama Polk in self-defense, the Roanoke show runners will edit it to make her seem like a crazy killer. We know the only reason Lee wants to get the phones/cameras is to destroy her confession of killing Mason. Audrey is on board though (because she's stupid) and they pass by Dominic's bloody body on their way downstairs. I am totes wishing one of the Chens would snap Audrey's neck right about now. Either that or rip out her tongue. I can't TAKE that voice anymore! The two women make it safely to the front door and the Piggy Man is on the other side, except it's not really the Piggy Man. It's the actor who played Ambrose in the Piggy Man costume.
The episode ends there and we only have two more to go. I'll say that I'm bummed that Shelby not only didn't make it out of the house, but didn't make it out of the house by her own hand. Or maybe I'm bummed because I wanted more screen time for Lily Rabe this season. I heart her. Anyway, with Shelby and Dominic gone, which of the remaining ladies will survive? Lee, the confessed killer? Monet, assuming she and her fabulous hair escaped the Polks? Nah, I bet it will be Audrey. Ryan Murphy loooooves Sarah Paulson and I can't picture this season closing without her emerging victorious. I'm not even factoring in the dude who played Ambrose. I think we all know he's toast.
No comments:
Post a Comment