AHS Asylum: Turning the Tables

The last 2012 episode of American Horror Story opens with Johnny Morgan (Season 1’s Dylan McDermott) seeking professional help for curbing compulsions. I’m already intrigued because McDermott’s character last year was a therapist. Johnny wants to “stop,” and he will do whatever it takes - therapy, medication and so on. His urges surfaced when he was a child being passed around various foster homes.  He began by skinning dead animals….then killing animals and skinning them. Johnny did some time in jail for armed robbery, and during his tenure there he decided he needed to find his birth parents. Seems Mr. Morgan is the son of Bloody Face and he has since moved into Thredson’s house. So this tells us that Thredson is publically outed as Bloody Face at some point.

 

His thoughts flash to poor Teresa (the still alive half of the haunted honeymooners) tied down to his skinning table. This takes me back to the first episode when she and her hubby found a table like this at Briarcliff and attempted to…make the best use of it. She lets out deafening screams as our modern day Bloody Face slices into her, and this jolts him. He explains to the therapist that he did not have his father’s medical training and “made a mess” with her.

When her next patient arrives, the therapist is already dead…murdered by Johnny. Our modern day Bloody Face takes care of the patient as well. The kicker here is – his therapist is played by Brooke Smith, who you may remember as the abducted girl in The Silence of the Lambs. “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!” Yes, her. Buffallo Bill is sooooo pissed right now.

Back to 1964 Braircliff where Sister Mary Eunice is informing Stuipd Lana that she is preggers. Yup, Dr. Bloody Face and Stupid Lana have a murder baby on the way. “But the good news is you seemed to have conquered your sexual perversion.” HA! Apparently the inmates at the asylum get knocked up pretty often as the devil nun explains that they are used to sending the Briarcliff babies off to orphanages. Stupid Lana tries to keep it together but when she stands to leave the office, she passes out instead.

 

She goes to Kit the next day and says they have to kill Thredson (yes) and explains that getting him to confess on tape may not even be admissible in court. They give it the old college try anyway, and Stupid Lana tells Bloody Face that she is pregnant. He is excited to be a daddy and tells her that now he has a reason to change and become a better person. Thredson begs her not to let his kid grow up “in the system” the way he did. Stupid Lana tells him it’s time to be honest and asks him why he chose the victims he did…Wendy included. When he finishes talking, Dr. Bloody Face hears his own voice on a tape recorder carried by Kit.

 

Knowing he has been duped, Thredson thinks he has also been lied to about the baby. Stupid Lana explains that she was, in fact, pregnant…but she had snagged a hanger from dry cleaning hanging in the bakery (because that makes sense) and gave herself an abortion the night before. My, she looks pretty good for someone who probably nearly bled to death less than 24 hours ago. She also tells him that she will return shortly to slit his throat. WHY NOT NOW?!?!?!?!   Why couldn’t she have stolen a knife when she took the hanger?! Have I mentioned that I am still not pulling for her?

Stupid Lana makes a failed attempt to steal a knife from the kitchen and decides to just use her abortion hanger to kill Thredson instead. By the time she returns to the room they were keeping him in, he has escaped. NO SHIT. How long did you think he was going to stay tied up and hidden behind two mattresses? She begins to search for him and runs into Sister Mary Satan. The devil nun confiscates her hanger and tells her that she was unsuccessful in trying to get rid of the child. She follows that up with “it’s a boy.” Zing!

 

Elsewhere in the asylum, Sister Jude is no more. By that, I do not mean she is dead, but she is now simply Judy Martin again…who is a new patient at Briarcliff (oh the irony!). She wakes up with her head in the electroshock therapy vice and sees Monsignor Timothy standing over her. He tells her she has become unhinged and accuses her of murdering Frank the Security Guard. Looks like Lee, our evil Santa, survived their throw down and claims to have witnessed her slitting Frank’s throat. Sister Mary Satan and Dr. Arden back up this story and Stupid Father Hotness buys all of it. He also buys Lee’s repentance for the murders he committed and my palm slams against my forehead in agony. He even goes so far as to bring Lee into Judy’s room to “forgive” her for what she did to him. Make it stop!

We now go to the common room where Judy and Stupid Lana become unlikely friends over a couple of cigarettes. Judy apologizes for what she put Lana through saying it was immoral. She wants to earn Lana’s trust and promises things are about to change in Briarcliff.

 

Kit had run off to hide the confession tapes under a bathtub and he encounters Dr. Arden who is oddly eager to spend some quality time with him. Dr. Creepy takes him to his office, lights him a cigarette, then offers him some malt liquor. Kit is suspicious, but the doctor then describes the experience he had while trying to dispose of Grace’s body. He now believes that Kit had not been lying about the aliens. Score one for Kit. Arden asks Kit if he and Alma had sex just before Alma was taken, and he reminds Kit that he and Grace also had relations recently before her body was taken as well. Dr. Creepy thinks that the aliens are also studying eugenics and for whatever reason, Kit is valuable to their research. They come up with a plan to bring Kit to the brink of death (with a medical injection) to see if the aliens return to protect him.

Side note. At this point in time, with few episodes remaining, are we just going to find out that Kit is an alien but doesn't realize it? There isn't a lot of time left for other explanations, and I'm not sure why else Kit's sexual encounters and procreation would be under examination. 

Dr. Creepy administers the drug, saying “this is going to hurt,” and we see Kit essentially die. Sure enough, the aliens arrive….but they are not alone. Pepper is there. Wait - I thought she had escaped. She had been taken? Was it by accident? Pretty sure Kit didn’t get it on with her. But more importantly, a very alive and very pregnant Grace arrives too. Pepper states that she is there to take care of Grace. When did Pepper learn to speak?

Lee seems to have the right to wander about freely now, just like all of the other murderously dangerous inhabitants of Briarcliff, and he makes his way to the chapel to pray….or at least pretend to pray. Stupid Father Hotness finds him there and is just tickled with Lee’s rehabilitation. Just imagine what kind of notoriety he could achieve by saving the souls of the inmates. He baptizes Lee, but before they can continue praising God, Lee dunks his ass in the baptismal pool and holds him under.

When we next see the Monsignor, he has been nailed to the cross above the altar. Is he being sacrificed for our sins like Jesus? No – he’s paying for his own. As dumb as he is, he knew Arden was doing unspeakable things in the asylum. He strangled Shelley and drove Sister Jude to a point of such desperation she returned to Briarcliff with a razor blade that would be used to frame her. Finally, he was too blinded by his own greed to see that Sister Mary Eunice is evil and Lee is her pawn. The episode ends with Monsignor Timothy being visited by the angel of death. Will he accept her kiss?

As we prepare for the winter break (AHS does not return until January 2^nd) we are left with several cliffhangers. How does our modern day Bloody face story tie in for the remaining episodes? How is Grace still alive? Why did the aliens want Pepper? Where did Thredson escape to? Will Stupid Lana and Judy be able to take back Briarcliff? AND should Father Hotness live, will he get a clue? I can’t promise that all will be revealed soon, but Ryan Murphy does promise many deaths in the next episode….but we’ll have to wait until 2013. Til then!

AHS Asylum: He Sees You When You're Sleeping

Well, if you were hoping for some sort of Christmas miracle during American Horror Story’s holiday episode, this recap will be a colossal disappointment. Yes, Christmas has indeed come to Briarcliff Manor, but the celebration is anything but holy….              

 

The episode opens with a mother and son putting money in a Salvation Army pot while trying to do some last minute shopping. The little boy is eager to talk the Santa Claus ringing the bell because he desperately wants a coon-skin hat for Christmas. Santa makes promises, the mother and son go off on their merry way, and then the store closes. Santa begins wrapping up his charity work and encounters a murderer (Deadwood’s Ian McShane). The killer shoots Santa in the head and takes his costume.

 
In 1962 we see a peaceful neighborhood filled with decorations and holiday cheer. A little girl is roused from her slumber to find a beardless Santa Claus in her living room playing with the train set under the Christmas tree. They have a brief conversation that reminds me of Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch, and then they journey upstairs to wake mom and dad.  Santa ties them together near the Christmas tree and tells dad that he chose this house because of the abundance of Christmas decorations outside. He asks which one of them wants to die first, but he starts with dad before a decision can be made….winning himself a room at Briarcliff in the process.

We jump to 1964 where Sister Mary Eunice is bringing the holiday spirit to the asylum. Yes, the demonically possessed nun wants the inmates to celebrate Christmas. Do what you want with that information. She tells the crowd Briarcliff is under new management, and even though Sister Jude had thrown away all of the decorations the year before, the asylum inhabitants are about to get creative. The tree is soon adorned with dentures, hair ribbons (still containing the hair), and other personal items, and this gives me quite a chuckle.

Side note: The Screen Actors Guild and Golden Globe nominations are out, and Jessica Lange has been recognized once again. I am bummed however, that there was no love for Lily Rabe or even Stupid Lana Sarah Paulson.

 

While Sister Mary Satan enjoys Christmas music by the fireplace in Sister Jude’s office, Jude sneaks up on her and nearly slits her throat. She is carrying the razor blade that had been left for her in the Nazi hunter's hotel room in the previous episode. Violence is averted when Dr. Arden arrives and has Sister Jude thrown out of Briarcliff.

 

The devil nun visits the killer Santa in his cell. He is reminiscing about last Christmas at the asylum where Sister Jude had him handcuffed during the celebration. Seems she was hesitant to let a man who killed 18 people from 5 families in one night run free in Briarcliff. I guess security was tighter back then? Kit practically ran the place for a while and he had been accused of wearing women’s skin! Anyway, Sister Jude had arranged for a holiday photo of the inmates to be taken, and an orderly made the rounds as Santa Claus handing out presents. Our killer Santa was not a fan and bit the guy’s face off. Literally. The photographer took advantage of this Kodak moment, and now we know why Sister Jude subsequently did away with holiday festivities.

 

Santa has spent the past year in solitary confinement and Sister Mary Satan has brought him a new suit to wear for her pending Christmas celebration. Calling him Lee (thank goodness he has a name – it was getting tough to keep typing “killer Santa”), she reminds him that as a young man he was just a petty thief guilty of stealing a loaf of bread. Jean Valjean, anyone?  While serving time for his offense, Lee was visited by five security guards who came a caroling and also a raping. “One took your virginity; the others took your dignity.” So yeah – Lee doesn’t like Christmas anymore.

 

Elsewhere in the asylum Frank the Security Guard is guilt-ridden over accidentally killing Grace during the previous episode. He prays over her body and promises he’ll make things right. Frank tells Dr. Arden that they should confess everything to the police – Kit, the creatures, Grace’s death, and so on. Frank says he is ready for whatever consequences await him, but clearly he doesn’t understand that his punishment will come from Briarcliff and not from the law.

 

The devil nun has moved herself into Sister Jude’s office permanently and is enjoying Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” when Dr. Creepy enters. He has brought her a Christmas present (Ravish Me Red lipstick?) and she assumes it’s “probably some cheap toilet water from Woolworth’s.” Ha! She instead opens ruby earrings, and she is practically foaming at the mouth over their glamor. Arden explains that he took them from a Jewish woman at one of the camps he was stationed at as a Nazi. This woman swallowed these earrings every day, carried them around inside her to keep them safe, and then she would go to the latrine and dig them out of her feces. Uh-huh. Sister Mary Satan is wearing shit earrings. The good doctor goes on to say that after this woman died of internal bleeding, he took the earrings from her INTESTINES and vowed he would give them to someone worthy of their beauty (and smell?). The devil nun, however, doesn’t realize that he had been testing her – Dr. Creepy realizes now that the pure Sister Mary Eunice is gone and this nun is possessed. She calls him pathetic and declares “You’re either with me or against me, and if you’re against me…even God can’t help you.”

Sister Jude consults Mother Superior about Briarcliff, proclaiming that she is a soldier in God’s army and she must be allowed to go back to the asylum. Their conversation is cut short when Dr. Arden arrives (he interrupts everything?) at the church to mend fences with Jude. He claims that they both have the same amount of passion for Briarcliff and he is turning to her for help. Knowing that Sister Mary Eunice is in trouble, Dr. Creepy tells Sister Jude that he believes in evil, which is why Mary’s purity meant so much to him. “Please…and that’s not a word I use often. I’m begging you.” Sister Jude buys all of this (I do not) and puts a plan of action in place to save Briarcliff as well as Sister Mary Eunice.

 

Dr. Creepy returns to the asylum in time to see Monsignor Timothy deliver the star for the Christmas Tree. He observes Lee, who is enjoying the freedom to celebrate in the common room with the other inmates and is just overjoyed with Sister Mary Eunice’s efforts at Briarcliff.  Am I going to have to start calling him Stupid Father Hotness? I sure hope not. He is just about to leave the celebration but hangs in there just long enough to witness Lee try to kill Frank the Security Guard. Planned by the devil nun? Probably. Frank and the orderlies restrain Lee instead, and Frank takes him back to solitary confinement. The devil nun follows them and slits Frank’s throat with Sister Jude's razor. Poor guy. He never seemed to have a clue about….anything.

 

 

Ever the social butterfly, Dr. Arden lets Sister Jude into the asylum and escorts her to her office to try to free Sister Mary Eunice from possession. She begins to pray before taking on the large task ahead of her. Instead of Sister Mary Satan, however, Lee joins Jude, and the devil nun locks the two of them in the office together. I knew Arden was lying to her – it was wayyyyy too out of character for him to want Sister Jude’s help. Seems Lee did not appreciate all of the time he spent in solitary thanks to Sister Jude, and he is eagerly prepared to torture and kill her.  He beats the crap out of her, eventually caning her over desk the way she had punished so many others. Holding a cane high he yells, “There is no God, but there IS a Santa Claus!!!”

 

It’s starting to look like this may be it for Jude, as he is relentlessly throwing her around the room now and striking her repeatedly. She is able to grab a letter opener from her desk, and as Lee mounts her, she stabs him in the neck. Hooray!

 

We visit Stupid Lana now who is puking her guts out in a bedpan. Oh yeah. She has to be preggers. If I was only suspicious last week, I'm pretty damn sure this week. She wanders a bit, because that’s what the patients at Briarcliff are allowed to do, and she finds Kit Walker. He is dreaming about celebrating Christmas with a pregnant Alma…and then a pregnant Grace. He looks pretty good in that turtleneck though. When he wakes up, he sees a Stupid (pregnant) Lana. She informs him that according to the radio, the police are still looking for him and have no idea he is back at Briarcliff. She’s able to listen to the radio too? What the hell? Kit tells her that Grace is dead, and Stupid Lana confirms Kit’s innocence for him by telling him that Thredson is Bloody Face. Good talk, guys.

 

Stupid Lana sneaks off again to call for help, and who should be waiting in the very dark room that has a phone? Dr. Bloody Face of course! Seems the car accident she was in made headlines in the local papers: “Escaped Mental Patient Returns to Ward.” Thredson tells her he has disposed of any and all evidence that he is Bloody Face and informs her that her betrayal cannot go unpunished. After all, he gave her his “intimacy.” Ew. He begins to strangle her and Kit bursts in to save the day, knocking Thredson out. And then they are going to kill him right? Nope. Kit needs him alive to prove his innocence. Because he’ll just confess? Sigh. Their master plan is to tie him up and “hide” him behind mattresses. Really? Before she leaves the room, Stupid Lana promises Thredson that she will bury him someday. Why not nowwwwwwwwwww?

 

 

As the episode draws to a close…some housekeeping remains. Now that Frank has been silenced, Dr. Creepy proceeds to dispose of Grace’s body through the death chute. Sudden lights and piercing noises bring him to his knees, and when he is able to see again, Grace’s body is gone…taken by the aliens. Wait, so the spacemen want a dead Grace? When are we going to get some answers on the alien front?!?!

 

We only have one more episode before American Horror Story goes on hiatus until 2013. Next week’s show promises more information about the modern day Bloody Face (has to be the bun in Stupid Lana’s oven), and it looks as though Sister Jude may not have to leave Briarcliff after all. How many cliffhangers do we have to look forward to in the final 2012 episode? I say there are still several twists in store for us.  

AHS Asylum: Kiss of Death

American Horror Story’s “Dark Cousin” episode opens with two incredibly pleasant Briarcliff nuns discussing Lilies of the Field. One is reading the book; the other just saw the movie. Written by William Edmund Barrett, Lilies of the Field follows Homer Smith, an African-American handyman who encounters a farm with nuns on his travels doing odd jobs across the country. After doing some repairs for the nuns, they begin to believe that Homer has been sent to them by God to build a chapel for the poverty-stricken town. Knowing he will probably never see payment for his work, Homer agrees to start construction anyway, as his life-long dream had been to become an architect. He refuses all help from the townspeople for quite some time before realizing the task is too arduous, finally letting the chapel become a community effort. When the chapel is finished, the great debate among the readers and moviegoers is – was Homer actually some sort of saint chosen to help the town, or was he just a handyman who wanted all of the glory from this community achievement? How many “saints” are at Briarcliff now? Will someone be able to save the souls of this asylum? Will the whole place fall apart because the burden is far too much for one person to bear?

The Happy Sisters cut their conversation short to check on Grace, who they discover is hemorrhaging badly. I guess the blood she was gushing at the end of the previous episode wasn’t an indication that something may be wrong with her? She reaches out toward an angel of death – an angel played by last season’s Old Moira, Frances Conroy. I am so happy to have her back. If we could somehow just get Young Moira involved, this season would be complete for me. But I digress… before the angel can kiss Grace, the nuns have her on the mend. More on this mysterious angel in a bit.

Sister Mary Eunice notifies Dr. Arden that Grace is in need of medical assistance, telling him his botched sterilization almost killed her: “All of her girl parts have been scooped out.” Dr. Creepy insists he had nothing to do with Grace’s injuries. He demands to be spoken to with some respect and slaps Sister Mary Satan when she mocks him. She uses her Jedi mind tricks and throws his ass across the room and against the wall. Still think she’s just moody, Dr. Creepy?

Arden uses his medical skills to save Grace, but not because he cares if she lives or dies…he just didn’t appreciate being accused of giving her a failed hysterectomy. If he’s going to take the fall for something, he’d prefer it be for something he actually did.  

Happy Nun #1 sings in the bakery while new patient (new to us anyway) Miles makes sandwiches nearby.  He is a young African American man who informs us the voices in his head get too loud sometimes. Indeed - they keep telling him over and over again that he knows what he needs to do. He tells Happy Nun #1 that there’s something wrong with the meat slicer, assuring her he can repair it. Does the asylum have its own Homer? Is Miles a handy man who can fix Briarcliff as well? Nope. What Miles does instead is shove his arm/wrist into the meat slicer in an attempt to take his own life.

Sister Mary Satan arrives just in time to see that Miles had started to write something on the wall in his own blood: it translated to “Shachath,” our looming angel of death. The devil nun looks terrified for the first time this season and demands to know if Miles summoned her.  The poor guy is getting stitched up and has no idea why he wrote those letters.

Security Guard Frank transfers Miles his own room. Miles pretty much tells Frank he wants to die, and Frank peaces out – doesn’t strap him to the bed or tie his hands down or anything. Nah… why take any precautions with a suicidal patent? If you close the door and lock him in, he’ll be just fine. The angel appears again, offering to kiss Miles and take away his pain. He says he is ready, and he tears his stitches out and bleeds to death. A noise disrupts his final moment and the angel turns around “Who’s there? Who dares look upon Shachath?” Sister Mary Satan steps forward, and it appears Shachath recognizes her “cousin,” a fallen angel. Mary Eunice’s pure soul tries to reach out at that point, begging the angel to release her from possession, but evil takes her over again quickly. The angel and the demon part ways for now.

When we last left Stupid Lana, she was in her own personal hell with Bloody Face Thredson sucking on her breast. Unfortunately for her, he didn’t stop there. We find her again now being raped by her captor in another very cringe-worthy scene between the two characters. Her face is vacant, almost as if she is having an out of body experience. She looks over at Shachath whom she has summoned. Thredson leaves the room, and Stupid Lana tells Shachath she used to be scared of death but is no longer afraid. Before the angel can bestow a kiss, Dr. Bloody Face returns to explain to Lana that they have reached an impasse (you think?). He gives her the choice of being strangled or having her throat slit – he doesn’t believe in guns. What a standup guy… Thredson grabs a needle and tells her he will knock her out so she won’t feel a thing. Stupid Lana does not seem comforted by this and fights him, eventually smashing the picture of Wendy over his head. She chokes him with her chains, breaks free from them then makes a run for it. Does she go back to make sure he is dead? Nope, but she does escape. Woohoo!

But wait, I totally forgot that Stupid Lana is just screwed in all aspects of life. So when she runs out into the street and jumps into an unknown vehicle, she finds a male driver who hates her immediately. Of course this is what happens. (Hey! It’s Ethan from Lost). I don’t catch the guy’s name, so we’ll just call him that. Seems Ethan just caught his wife cheating on him with another man in their bed, so all women are now whores. Does he know Dr. Arden, I wonder? Ethan goes on a tirade about his wife and then holds up a gun. Stupid, Stupid Lana sees Shachath sitting in the back seat and is legitimately pissed off. The angel, however, has come for Ethan. He puts the gun in his mouth, pulls the trigger and crashes the car.

Stupid Lana wakes up…. AT BRIARCLIFF! Sister Mary Satan tells her she is safe where she belongs. It really just sucks to be Lana.

Elsewhere, Kit meets with his lawyer and tries to explain that he was tricked into confessing. He asks the attorney if he was able to talk with Grace, cuz you know, Grace saw Alma when she was abducted by aliens. The lawyer says what we’re all thinking; “She is a patient in a mental institution. What she saw is not likely to convince a lot of people.” He then tells Kit that Grace is sick and might not make it to the hearing anyway. Kit attacks the lawyer and escapes from the building. Why wouldn’t he? I mean, he’s just an accused serial killer who was left alone in a lawyer’s office with no handcuffs. I’m sure that one guard outside the door is wayyyy more security than necessary. Hell, I think Frank would have even done a better job here.

At the half way mark, we haven’t seen Sister Jude at all. We finally catch up to her as she tries unsuccessfully to help the slain Nazi hunter in his hotel room. Mr. Goodman had told her a nun stabbed him, and when Jude runs to the telephone to call for help, she sees Shachath kissing him. She looks around the room and sees a newspaper article about the girl she had run over as Slut Judy, with the word “murderer” written underneath.

We flash back now to 15 years ago, where Slut Judy is fighting a massive hangover and her fellow band member is knocking on her door to yell at her because she missed a gig. He also notifies her that she is out of group and they have  already replaced her. Ouch. Slut Judy tries to get him to reconsider: “I’ve always wondered what it felt like with a colored man,” but he is not interested. All she gets in return is a business card from a cop who is investigating a hit-and-run. Slut Judy packs her belongings and hits the road with her trusty bottles of liquor. She awakens in the parking lot of a covenant with a statue of the Virgin Mary looking over here. This is where Slut Judy became Sister Jude.

Back to the present – Jude answers the phone in Mr. Goodman’s room to hear the devil nun on the other end. Sister Jude FINNNNNNNALLY realizes that Sister Mary Eunice is evil, and I start to think there is still hope for her yet. Sister Jude picks up the razor blade that had been left as a “gift” for her and heads to the local diner. While washing up in the bathroom (apparently Nazi hunter blood can be washed completely out of your dress in a small sink), Jude fantasizes about slitting her wrists and dying on the bathroom floor. Just a momentary lapse of judgement. Jude snaps out of it and returns to her booth where Shachath waits for her.

Side note: the scenes Frances Conroy and Jessica Lange shared in the Season 1 of AHS were brilliant. These few minutes of shared screen time now are my favorite moments of Season 2 to date.

Sister Jude reveals in conversation that before her days as Slut Judy, she had been a young almost married woman eager to start a family. Her fiancee had given her syphilis which resulted in her infertility. He left her the night before their wedding upon learning this news.  (He also called her a whore, because that’s what the men on this show do. I really wish I had thought to start a drinking game when the season started – a shot each time we hear the word “whore!”). Jude asks the angel why she didn’t die then, or on the night she ran over the child? Shachath insists it was because God had a plan for Jude, but it is now time for her to find peace. Surely if Jude lives she will only continue to encounter heartache, right? “You deserve peace for your extraordinary, tireless efforts to find meaning in this life. Peace is so close, Sister.”  Well Sister Jude is not quite ready – there’s still one last thing she wants to do.

Jude makes her way to the house of the young girl she ran over. Missy was her name. She kind of, sort tells Missy’s parents she was her teacher….and a nun….a Sunday school teacher? It’s all just so awkward. Sister Jude is almost at a point where she tells them she killed their daughter when the front door opens and a nurse who sure as hell looks a lot like Missy enters. It’s her! She lives! Jude tries to stick to the nun/teacher story, stumbling a bit through more conversation before leaving. What a relief! What the hell have I been doing for the past 15 years?!?

Back at Briarcliff, Stupid Lana demands to speak with Sister Jude. The devil nun notifies her that she herself is in charge now. Lana explains that Thredson is Bloody Face and begs Sister Mary Eunice to call the police. Obviously Sister Mary Satan already knows this, but she calms Stupid Lana, gives her some happy pills, then joins Frank in the hallway. Frank informs her that Kit Walker escaped police custody and orders from state police are to shoot on site. He wouldn’t come back to Briarcliff, would he?

Sure he would. Kit enters the asylum through the death chute but accidentally allows one of Dr. Creepy’s creatures to follow him. He finds Grace in the bakery and vows to get her out of Briarcliff. Unfortunately for them, Happy Nun #1 finds them and calls out for help. Unfortunately for Happy Nun #1 , the creature devours her and she is no longer happy. Kit kills the creature, but right at that moment, Frank enters and sees the dead nun and Kit holding a weapon. Following through with the orders to shoot on site, he fires….but Grace throws herself in front of the bullet.  As Shachath kisses Grace, we can hear Frank yelling at Kit to stay back, or he’ll shoot. Really? I take back the comment I made earlier about Frank being more competent than the police who were guarding Kit. This is beyond frustrating.

 

RIP Grace

We are fast approaching the Christmas episodes of AHS, if we can even call them that, and I did read an interview with Ryan Murphy recently saying we will find out more about the modern day Bloody Face soon. In terms of timing, it can’t be Thredson because he would be too old. Is it possible that Stupid Lana was impregnated during the rape? That couldn’t have been Thredson’s intention given that he wanted to kill her immediately after….but are we potentially looking at a “Son of Bloody Face” scenario?

Also, Sister Mary Satan keeps telling us she knows everything. If that’s true, then why did she seem genuinely surprised when Arden told her he did not perform any sterilization procedure on Grace? Why is she afraid of Shachath? As much as I hope we see more of the angel of death, I’m not sure how many more characters I want to see sacrificed in order to keep her around. If we’re going to have that much kissing, then please bring back Young Moira.

AHS Asylum: Judas is the Demon I Cling To?

Episode 6 of American Horror Story: Asylum opens with modern day Briarcliff, where the police have arrived based on an anonymous tip they received from someone claiming to be Bloody Face. The voice on the phone is not that of an old man, which is what Thredson would be at this point, but I’m sure there will be a twist later on in the season regarding the present day murderer. The cops enter the asylum and look up to see three suspended bodies –  color me confused because I though there were only two  teenage imposters….

 

Back to the 1960s we go where Monsignor Timothy arrives at a hospital to give the last rights to a dying patient.  (Note to self: I will need someone like Father Hotness to bless me when I am on my deathbed). Among the many things wrong with said patient, she has tested positive for TB, and her appearance is quite shocking. Could it be? It is! Father Hotness recognizes poor Shelley as she lays barely clinging to life in the hospital bed. He strangles her with his rosary beads, and it seems Shelley will never make it to Paris after all.

 

We flash back just a bit further where Father Hotness and Dr. Arden meet for the first time. The Catholic Church is taking over Briarcliff, which had mostly been a Tuberculosis treatment facility. The patients there had long since been forgotten, and thus the death chute was born as Dr. Creepy would quietly transport the bodies to the crematorium out back. Dr. Creepy tells Father Hotness that all of his research will be useless if he leaves Briarcliff – he has been working on an “immune booster” to help prevent disease in the human body. The success of this research would contribute to the greater good and most certainly be noticed by the Holy Higher Ups in Rome. Father Hotness crumbles so quickly to the idea of recognition, and I am greatly disappointed in him. 

 

The flashback over, Father Hotness confronts Dr. Creepy, calling him a monster. Arden responds by saying all of the inmates at Briarcliff are human waste, and their experimentation and mutilation is all in the name of progress. Take Spivey for example (whom we haven’t seen since movie night). He found his way to Briarcliff by exposing himself to children and pleasuring himself in public. Lucky for him Sister Mary Satan flashes him through a hole in the broom closet and he can hide his indecency. You can imagine how well this goes over with Dr. Creepy. HSpivey ends up as an experiment as well, and Arden explains that he is making “super humans” who will survive the nuclear war on the horizon with Russia. America’s fears of Russian missiles had begun a couple of years prior. Regardless, Dr. Creepy’s work had been originally blessed by Father Hotness, so Arden says if he goes down, they both go down.

 

As old and sinister Dr. Creepy is, we can't let this episode go without also observing evil in its youth. Meet Jenny Reynolds, a dangerous child whose mother wants her committed to Briarcliff. Concerned for the safety of her other two children, Mrs. Reynolds confides in Sister Jude (how does she still have a job?) about Jenny’s questionable behavior. Jenny and her friend Josie had been playing in the woods and were collecting items to make a wreath…cut to Josie dead with scissors sticking out of her chest and Jenny telling a story about an assailant who killed the child and threatened to kill Jenny to. She tells the police officers “He was tall, he had a beard and a brown jacket.” This suspect was never found, but what Mrs. Reynolds did find was one of Josie’s pigtails in Jenny’s laundry. Yeah. Creepy kid. Unfortunately for Jenny’s mom, Briarcliff has no children’s ward. No matter – Mrs. Reynolds takes off and just leaves her kid there anyway.

 

Where should we keep Jenny while we track down her mother? With Sister Mary Eunice of course! The possessed nun is cutting vegetables with a rather large knife and calls Jenny out on being a murderer. “I know everything. I’m a devil.” Ha! Take that, kid. She says Jenny was born with the gift of authentic impulse and encourages her to hold onto it. The devil nun then reveals Sister Mary Eunice’s backstory.

 

 

As a very young woman, Mary had just wanted people to like her. She had been invited to a pool party by the popular kids, and as soon as Popular Bitch #1 called her “the guest of honor,” she should have known something was up. But she was naïve and climbed the diving board anyway. Popular Bitch #2 claims everyone will drop their robes on the count of three. Mary is the only one who is naked under her robe, everyone points and laughs, and she’s mortified. She believes the only place she can be safe is with God.

 

Sister Jude receives a call from Sam Goodman about his Nazi-hunting research on Dr. Arden. Even though Anne Frank was not actually Anne Frank, Arden is in fact Hans Gruber, a former SS officer, after all. Oh snap. Just to be 100% sure, Mr. Goodman will need Sister Jude to bring him a fingerprint. 

 

Before she can embark on that journey, she is visited by Father Hotness, who tells her she will be transferred to Pittsburgh to work at a home for wayward girls. She pleads with him, saying she has resotred order to the aslylum and just arranged to have Jenny sent home to her mother. Father Hotness doesn't care (and to my knowledge has no idea who Jenny is). The plans have been made, and Sister Jude will be on a plane Friday morning. I have no idea what day it is now, but I imagine she has at least a day or two on her hands. She uses this time to offer up some cognac to Dr. Arden to gain that fingerprint.

 

While Sister Jude continues her mission to expose Dr. Creepy, Sister Mary Satan performs “You Don’t Own Me” for us, dressed in red lingerie and singing to the crucifix on Sister Jude’s wall. This is the most light-hearted moment of the entire episode, and it gives me quite the giggle. Thank you, Lily Rabe. I have been SO grossed out for most of this hour.

 

 

When Mr. Goodman calls looking for Sister Jude, the devil nun mimics Jude’s voice to get information. There is a knock on the Nazi hunter’s door, and before Mr. Goodman knows what hit him, Sister Mary Satan breaks a mirror and shoves a shard of glass in his throat. Sister Jude arrives in time to see his nearly lifeless body on the floor. He is able to tell her a nun attacked him. Sister Jude, do we have a lightbulb going off in your head yet?  

 

Back at Briarcliff, the devil nun gives Dr. Creepy most of the documents Mr. Goodman had gathered on Hans Gruber. She has hidden some for safe keeping in the event that Arden wants to double cross her. Dr. Creepy wants to know why she is protecting him. Clearly she is not attracted to his stunning physique. Sister Mary Satan asks him to trust her with his entire soul. If he does, “everything will work out.”

 

You know who else everything seems to be working out for?  Wicked Jenny. We cut to the same crime scene where she killed Josie, only this time her mother and siblings are the victims. A very large knife resembling the one Sister Mary Eunice used in the kitchen sticks out of her mother. Jenny can be heard telling the officer nearby “…he was tall, he had a beard and a brown jacket…” My skin crawls.

 

We check in now with Stupid Lana and Bloody Face. She awakens in a bed, surrounded by pictures of Wendy which comforts her for a second until she hears Thredson’s voice asking “is there anything more heavenly than waking from a nap to the smell of croque-monsieur?” Being ignorant in the world of fine dining I had to do research to determine croque-monsieur is a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Stupid Lana asks about Wendy’s body. Thredson tells her he put Wendy somewhere she will never be found (in the croque-monsieur?), because now that Kit Walker has confessed, we can’t have any more bodies turning up.

 

Bloody Face serves “the perfect mommy snack” and reveals that he never knew his mother. At the age of 33, she had abandoned him to an orphanage as a baby. Thredson notes that Stupid Lana is also 33 (coincidently the age Jesus died). She explains that she also knows what it’s like to be abandoned as Wendy had left her to rot at Briarcliff….except for the part where she really didn’t….because Bloody Face killed her before she could act on saving Stupid Lana. Thredson now feels that he can open up to her – she is “the one.”

 

Thredson used his abandonment issues toward a degree in medicine and psychology. Through his studies he realized that while he was taken care of at the orphanage, he lacked affection and a mother’s loving touch. He craved skin to skin contact. During a gross anatomy class in particular, Thredson tried to “connect” with a corpse of a woman who was 33. She was cold and stiff obviously, and he needed someone a little more lively….warm, living skin. This is why he started killing. Stupid Lana trembles and starts to cry. He shushes her, saying “Now that you’re here, all of that work is behind me…Mommy.”

 

Interrupting this tender moment, Kit uses his one phone call from jail to contact Dr. Bloody Face to set things straight. See, I would have thought Kit knew that the good doctor set him up. He gets it now, calling Thredson a lying bastard and slamming the phone down.

 

Bloody Face returns to Stupid Lana. After some additional dialogue that makes my skin crawl, Stupid Lana convinces him that she will be his mother and calls him “baby.” You think that’s disgusting? Thredson follows it up with “baby needs colostrum” and puts his mouth on her breast. EWWWWWWWWW. If Stupid Lana wasn’t repulsed by men before, this should seal the deal.

 

Our hour ends back in present day Briarcliff, where the policemen are trying to identify the bodies hanging above the Stairway to Heaven. Apparently all three are teenagers, and I guess there was an additional Bloody Face wannabe after all.  An officer discovers another body in a nearby room. It’s newlywed Adam Levine (Leo). Guess all those fairytales are full of shit. No sight of his bride though – was she not killed by the teenage imposters? Apparently not. She’s on a table with Bloody Face looming over her. Again, it can’t be Thredson. This Bloody Face is not in his 70s, which is about how old Thredson would be at this point.

 

So this episode was about backstories of abandonment and betrayal. Each of our characters had their own “Judas”…Lana felt deceived by Wendy, Thredson by his mother, Jenny by her mother, Sister Jude by Monsignor Timothy, Monsignor Timothy by Dr. Arden, and Sister Mary Eunice by her peers. What is the evil nun’s plan for the asylum? Was there a part of her singing “You Don’t Own Me” with the devil possessing her? Is there a part of her who enjoys the power she/the demon currently has? Frances Conroy (last year’s Old Moira) returns in the next episode as someone who makes this devil incredibly anxious. Can’t wait to see how this plays out!