When last week’s episode of American
Horror Story: Coven ended, the inhabitants of Miss Robichaux’s had a zombie
infestation on their hands. Marie had launched an attack on the witches through
some crazy voodoo shit, a mystery person had launched an attack on Stupid Cordelia, and Spalding had launched an attack on my eyeballs with his dead girl tea party. Here's where we are now:
Mommy Issues
While serving as the new maid for Miss Robichaux academy, Madame
LaLaurie doesn’t know what to make of the trick-or-treaters. She remembers
Halloween celebrations a little differently. We flash back to an All Hallow’s
Eve party in 1833 where she has put her slave torturing to a different use. Most
of us have been through Halloween attractions where the houses include fake
blood, rubber limbs, candy eye balls and so on. Well, Madame LaLaurie has put
together her own “chamber of horrors,” but she goes for authenticity with real
body parts and organs from her captive slaves. No one can throw parties like she can I guess.
Madame LaLaurie’s antics embarrass her three daughters, none of whom
can retain any suitors because of Momma drives them away quickly. The girls
discuss offing their mother…after all, who would suspect three young grieving daughters
of foul play? This would have been fine and dandy if Momma hadn’t been
listening in on the conversation. She drags the ladies to the attic and
tortures them appropriately.
As we return to present day, Madame LaLaurie opens the front door to
dole out some Halloween candy…only to find the zombie version of her three daughters
staring back at her.
She slams the door quickly and warns everyone that “Hell has arrived on our
doorstep.” It suuuuure has. The witches are freaking out and
“Borquita. What has
she done to you? No. What have I done to
you? Borquita, there must be... something still inside you that... that...
knows the mother who bore you. Come back to me, child. I would make amends. Borquita? You do know me.”
Yup, she knows you…which is
exactly why she starts to choke you. Precious Queenie hears a noise
outside her bedroom door and finds Borquita standing over Spalding with a
candlestick (it’s taking everything I have not to make a Clue reference here). Precious
Queenie starts stabbing herself, slitting her own throat and other self mutilation, trying to
use her voodoo abilities to kill the zombie. Madame LaLaurie appears behind
Boquita and successfully kills her with a fire poker. “She had a monster for a mother. This last act was the only kindness I ever
did for her.” And with that, Madame LaLaurie sobs while Precious Queenie
holds her.
The Walking Dead
Meanwhile the gorgeous yet dumb next door neighbor, Luke, thinks all
of this is a prank and marches outside to tell these “punks” a thing or two.
Some actual punks arrive and the zombies rip them to pieces. One zombie also
puts an axe in Luke’s back. Shout out to Grace and Alma from Season 2! Nan
rushes to his rescue while Zoe tries to figure out where the witches can hide.
She suggests the attic but Spalding appears quickly and shakes his head…apparently
if you are a witch with a pulse, you are not invited to the tea party. Bummer for Madison. She’s just sitting up
there decomposing all by her lonesome….There’s not enough Lysol in the world,
Spalding. Just not enough.
As Nan drags Luke to a car for
Love Is Blind
Fiona finds a screaming Cordelia just outside of the restroom in the
bar they had been bonding at. She realizes that her daughter has been attacked and as
she screams for someone to call an ambulance, Fiona notices a hooded figure
slinking out the door.
At the hospital, the doctor informs Fiona that someone splashed
sulfuric acid in Cordelia’s eyes and she is now blind. Fiona helps herself to a
medication storage room and gets high as a kite, staggering through the
hallways until she thinks she sees the hooded figure. This reminds me of Sister
Jude’s drunken walk through the asylum last season…where she (maybe) came face
to face with an alien. No such luck here though. Fiona instead finds herself in
a delivery room where a young mother has just given birth to a stillborn little
girl. Fiona hands the baby to her mother
and tells the woman “you have to hold them close so they feel safe.” The young
woman is terrified...and probably a little grossed out. “Tell her you love her.
Tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her ‘I’ll be your mother until the day you
die.’” Creepy, but awesome. Fiona is able to bring the baby back to life and
leaves the room just as the child starts breathing.
She sits at her own daughter’s bedside now, thinking about her
failures as a mother. Hank arrives
and he and Fiona have a spat over who sucks
more. The nurse asks one of them to leave and Fiona peaces out, telling Hank he
has 15 minutes to be with Cordelia. As he leans forward to comfort his wife,
Cordelia’s eye’s fly open. She sees Hank having sex with Kaylee, so she clearly
has developed a new power as well. Now that she’s blind…she is able to see the truth. Wait
a minute! Cordelia FINALLLLLY got interesting!
This Girl Is On Fire
The Council arrives again, charging Fiona with gross neglect,
malfeasance, and a willful disregard for the well-being of the coven. They demand
her abdication as Supreme of the coven, and since a new Supreme has not yet
been revealed, the coven will fall under the council of….The Council. The
decision is unanimous and final. Fiona is coming apart at the seams. She has
ammo. “Our enemy hides in plain sight.”
Wait. What? Fiona accuses Myrtle of attacking Cordelia, ripping off Myrtle’s
gloves to reveal an acidic burn on her hands. Adding insult to injury, Fiona
informs the other members of The Council that Myrtle had been in town when
Madison went missing, showing them photos of Myrtle’s hotel room….as well as
the pictures of Fiona that Myrtle had pinned to the wall. Uh oh. Myrtle looks guilty
as hell.
She confesses to nothing, but The Council turns on her quickly. “Burn
the witch.” Myrtle’s tears at that moment break my heart. I don’t want her to be the bad guy
and I sure as hell don’t want her to die! Alas, the witches escort Myrtle to a
remote area, and they do indeed burn her at the stake. It’s difficult to watch…and
it makes me very sad.
When the witches return home Precious Queenie approaches Fiona.
She and asks the Supreme if they framed a guilty woman or an innocent one.
WHAT?!?! Apparently just as Fiona was ripping the glove off of Myrtle’s hand, Precious
Queenie was shoving her own hand in a jar of acid. Mytle was innocent! I’m
sooooo pissed now. Precious Queenie is dealing with a ton of guilt. She
says she can’t live with it. For a second I think Fiona might kill her, but
instead she blows some smoke up her ass and tells Precious Queenie that
she can help her reach her full potential. She says Precious Queenie maybe
even be the next Supreme. Riiiight. Fiona will probably just kill her later.
We go back to the stake, the crispy remains of Myrtle and…Misty Day!
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Is she going to bring Myrtle back? She is! The episode
ends with Myrtle’s charred eyes bursting open. Fantastic.
In this hour we saw a LOT of mommy/daughter troubles and several
attempts at redemption. I’m sure the young mother in the hospital felt like
shit when her baby started breathing and she hadn’t wanted to see her. But on
the flip side, this was also Fiona’s redemption. She was helping another family
get a fresh start…telling the young woman to do what she never did with Cordelia. We
witnessed Madame LaLaurie grasp just how awful she was to her daughters. When
push came to shove, she “killed” the zombie version of her child hoping to
bring her peace. Madam LaLaurie also seems to be taking on a mother role with Precious
Queenie. She hasn’t called her “slave” in several episodes…I call that a win
for both characters.
This is probably my favorite episode of the season so far. Though we
still have no idea what’s going on with Kyle (he would have totally fit in with
the zombies if he had showed up), I’m completely fine putting him on the
backburner for some good Halloween fun. I’m excited to see what Misty does with
scorched Myrtle…and if Myrtle is not the person who attacked Cordelia, who is?
And will Cordelia also see that Hank killed Kaylee or just that Hank is a
cheating bastard? And why did Hank kill her?!?! Still bitter. Hopefully these
issues will take a front seat next week because I spend entirely too much of my
time wracking my brain with these questions.
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