The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep. 15: East

Holy cliffhanger, Batman! Tonight's episode of The Walking Dead is a series of bad decisions made by people who should know better.  Our heroes' emotions are borderline out of control running high and this pre-finale hour caused a loop of "stop!" and "why?!" and "ugh!" from this viewer. The episode still doesn't deliver Negan, but it does deliver a setup for what will most likely be a gut-wrenching season finale. Here's what went down in "East."

Those People Keep A-Movin'

You know when an episode opens with couples being loving toward one another it just isn't going to end well. "East" begins with Carol, still in Alexandria, planning her exit. She has written her 'goodbye' letter and is in her bedroom sewing something into her jacket sleeve. As Tobin calls to her from the stairs, she quickly shoves an array of packaged foods in her backpack (not nearly as many baked goods as I was hoping for) and shoves the backpack under the bed. Tobin enters with a paper cut on his hand or something from his efforts to build the new watchtower. No worries though - he stopped by the infirmary and got it cleaned up by Pete Denise whoever picked up Denise's "medicine for dummies" book and is now the town doctor. He talks about how he knew Denise and Carol puts on her sad face, thinking about what will happen when Tara finds out lesbians are an endangered species in the new world. They smooch and stuff, and the next time we see Tobin he is sound asleep and Carol is leaving Alexandria in the night. Stupid decision #1.  

In the morning we see Glenn and Maggie sweetly showing together and Abraham and Sasha flirting outside as they exchange watch shifts. Guys. Smokin' Hot Rosita is RIGHT there. Can't you do that somewhere that isn't 50 feet from her watch station? Sigh. Rick and Michonne are still in bed snuggling and eating an apple. The forbidden fruit, huh? Interesting. Rick says "this is good," and I'm assuming he is referring to far more than the apple. Michonne notes "Jesus came through" and I get a giggle out of that because it is Easter Sunday in our world after all. Shout out to Jesus for coming through. Anyway, Rick is looking to have another romp but Michonne reminds him that Maggie has everyone on a schedule and hell hath no fury like an angry pregnant woman. Seems Maggie is still very worried about an attack but Rick has a relaxed attitude. "When they come for us, we'll end it. The whole thing...the world is ours and we know how to take it." 

Tobin takes wayyyyy too long to show up on Rick's doorstep with Carol's note. Maybe he was on painkillers from his paper cut and had to sleep it off. Rick of course decides to go after her (duh Carol) and Morgan wants to go with. I have a feeling this bro trip won't be half as fun as the trip where Daryl and Rick found Jesus. Again, Happy Easter. 

I Know I Can't Be Free

Carol and her stolen porcupine car are speeding down the road away from Alexandria when she sees a truck coming from the opposite direction. The truck holds a group of Saviors and they shoot out her tires. Damn it, Carol! How far have you even gotten at this point?!? She exits the car shaking and holding her rosary. Her jacket is way too big for her. I don't remember her ever wearing this one. Carol tells these men her name is Nancy and she's not from anywhere and not going anywhere. Good cover. Totally. The Saviors immediately deduce she is from Alexandria and say they are going to take her hostage in order to get into the community. Carol looks terrified. She cries and pleads with them:  "It doesn't have to be this way. You can turn back and go home. Nobody has to get hurt." Two of The Saviors start to jump off the truck to grab her and suddenly they are all riddled with bullets. Whaaa? OMG. Carol has a freaking MACHINE GUN sewn on the inside of her jacket sleeve!

The guy in the passenger seat of the truck runs out firing his gun. I think Carol might be hit but she's not showing any immediate signs of pain. She grabs one of the spikes from her car, impales this guy, then steals his gun. Carol shoots the one remaining dude alive outside of the truck and she's completely fooled by the truck driver playing dead. She leaves on foot, but the driver is alive. Wounded, but alive. He picks her rosary up off the ground and begins a mission to find her. 

Rick and Morgan are hot on the trail as well. Because The Saviors' compound was west of Alexandria, Morgan assumes Carol went east. They arrive at the bloody scene and find one man on the ground barely alive. Rick asks where Carol is and all the guy can do is gurgle blood. Rick puts a knife in his head immediately and tells Morgan how proud he is of Carol. "She took four of them down. That woman, she's a force of nature." Morgan (like me) is wondering why Carol took four guys out when she said in her letter that she couldn't kill anymore? Rick replies, "she did because she had to." 

That's What Tortures Me

Morgan points out a trail of blood leading into the field and believes it is Carol's, so he and Rick continue their journey on foot. As they walk, Morgan reveals that he knows about how Carol killed Karen and David back at the prison and how Rick sent her away. Rick says knowing what he does now, he would thank Carol instead. Morgan's point is...instead of killing Carol, Rick sent her away...and then Carol was able to come back and save them from Terminus. Full circle, all life is precious, blah blah blah. He tells Rick that he saved that one Wolf during the attack, and the Wolf ended up giving his life for Denise...and then Denise was able to save one-eyed Carl. Full circle, all life is precious, blah blah blah. I'm sorry Morgan - if you hadn't saved the Wolf at all, Denise would have been at the damn infirmary the whole time and would have been twiddling her thumbs when one-eyed Carl was carried in. You irk me dude. 

My heart stops for a minute when we see a Walker from behind that looks like Carol. Morgan and Rick run to it but thankfully it's not her. They are approaching a farm now and there are mostly fresh bodies all over the place. They spot a guy fighting a Walker and Rick points his gun at him. The guy hides behind the barn and says he's just looking for his horse. Morgan asks if he's seen Carol and he doesn't have time to answer. A whole bunch of Walkers are coming and he takes off running. Rick is prepared to shoot him but Morgan knocks his arm away. They fight the Walkers and dude gets away. Rick is pissed. "I don't take chances anymore."

I'm gonna go not kill people by myself.

Morgan tells Rick to go home and promises to find Carol himself. Rick asks if he's coming back and Morgan says "Yeah...but if I don't, don't come looking." Rick gives him his gun and heads home. Morgan presses on through the field and I have to wonder how long it is before he catches up to that guy who just ran away. 

Back in Alexandria Abraham opens the gate for Rick and asks if he's more afraid now that he's "close" to someone. Rick says he is and Abraham concedes that he is too. "But now I think I'm much more ready to tear the world a brand new asshole." Ha! Thanks for the humor but I'm confused by this. I know Rick and Jessie weren't an item for long, but Abraham and Smokin' Hot Rosita were together quite a while. Abraham didn't have this sense of fear with her? 

Farther Down The Line

Enid has started doing things that might be considered useful and today she is taking food inventory in Glenn and Maggie's house where I'm assuming she also lives. Side note - I'm a little unclear about who lives in whose house these days. The group started out with two houses, but it really feels like they have more now. Must be all the shacking up. Anyway, Maggie comes home looking all stressed out and Enid offers to take Maggie's next shift so she can rest. "Prop your feet and eat some pickles."

Later Maggie sends for Enid because she has another task for her. Seems Maggie wants to get her hair did and we know the resident stylist is, um, no longer available. Enid is up for the task though and gives Maggie a super short hair cut. Maggie explains "I have to keep going...and I don't want anything getting in my way." She then starts to double over in pain. Too many pickles? Nope. Seems like this is much worse than indigestion.

Blow My Blues Away

Glenn is not in Alexandria for Maggie's emergency. See, Daryl is all effed up because of the whole "Dwight killed Denise with my crossbow because I let him live" thing and he takes off on his own to go avenge her death. Stupid decision #2. Glenn and Michonne take a break from hiding weapons throughout the community (so they will have a stash outside of the armory if there is an attack) and they hop in a van to go after him. Just before they exit the gate, Smokin' Hot Rosita jumps in with them because she knows exactly where he's going. 

The van pulls over near the train tracks where Denise took the arrow to her head. The blood stain is still there. Michonne spots Daryl's motorcycle hidden in the bushes and Glenn is eager to find him. Smokin' Hot Rosita is distracted by Denise's blood on the tracks but then begins to lead Michonne and Daryl in the direction Dwight ran off in. They find Daryl pretty quickly and he's just not in his right mind. Glenn tries to talk some sense into him. He promises Daryl they will figure this out but they need to go home where they are needed. "It's gonna go wrong out here." Daryl pushes ahead and Rosita joins him. Stupid decision #3. Glenn and Michonne turn around and start walking in the opposite direction.  

Michonne and Glenn don't make it far before they find themselves surrounded by a group of Saviors with guns, lead by Douchebag Dwight. Shit. Really?!? They are tied up, gagged, and taken hostage. Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita see them sitting near a tree and approach them. Glenn is shaking his head and making sounds, trying to shoo them away, but Daryl does a "shhh" motion with his finger and starts walking toward them anyway. Bad decision #4. Douchbag Dwight sneaks up behind him and shoots. We see blood splatter on the camera lens. The picture goes black and we hear Dwight say, "You'll be alright."

The episode ends there and I've watched this last scene over and over several times. I think it's just a flesh wound and Dwight is just screwing with Daryl, kind of like "Look what I can do. I can shoot you in the arm and there's nothing you can do about it." They wouldn't kill Daryl off that way... 

I have to say that I'm rather disappointed with my dream couple, Carol and Daryl. Carol left because she felt she couldn't kill for the people she loved, but she had to have known her "family" would come after her. During her escape, she put those people in danger by almost getting captured and then KILLED the potential captors anyway! She CAN kill for the people she loves. Daryl, meanwhile, goes on a freaking suicide mission to find Dwight when the ONLY reason Dwight didn't kill his ass last time was because of Eugene's miracle teeth. Sure dude - go after the Saviors by yourself. And then when your "family" shows up and tells you shit is going to go horribly wrong, continue anyway and put them in danger. Makes total sense. 

Sigh. Next week we have been promised Negan's entrance and it's about damn time. The finale will be a 90 minute adventure and my understanding is we're in for quite a cliffhanger. Now...in the comics Negan kills a major character in a major way, but I'm wondering if TWD writers are going to substitute one major character for another next week...and we somehow won't know which one until the fall. That would be maddening. Will we get the iconic death from the comics? Is Maggie's baby okay...or is there only room for one baby on this show? Will Morgan find Carol before the season ends? And I have to know - did these guys shoot a separate scene for this episode with Jesus rising from the dead? Or at least his bed? There were sooo many missed Easter opportunities here!

The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep. 14: Twice as Far

Tonight's episode of The Walking Dead caused at least one screaming at my TV moment as the show runners are clearly reminding us that no one is safe on this show. This is another "deep" episode, and several of our heroes spend the hour in various stages of self-reflection while trying to resupply Alexandria with some much needed items. Though we still do not meet Negan tonight, we do find out that The Saviors are on the warpath, and the message they send is rather heartbreaking. Here's what went down in "Twice as Far."

Wrecking Balls Inside My Brain

The episode opens with just another normal day in Alexandria. Olivia is working in the pantry, Sasha is keeping watch on the wall, Eugene and Gabriel are both picking up security shifts, and Morgan is practicing the art of not killing anyone with his not killing anyone stick. It all looks calm and ordinary...ordinary for a recently terrorized post-apocolyptic community anyway. But of course things are not what they seem to be. We soon see Morgan hard at work, beefing up the imitation jail cell that has successfully restrained no one up until this point. When Rick approaches him to ask what he's doing (this is the only time we will see Rick tonight), Morgan replies "It'll give you some choices next time." Rick leaves without saying anything in response.

Morgan isn't the only one finding a new hobby. Carol is smoking at least a pack a day on her porch and she's resumed her romance with Tobin...though she no longer looks like a happy homemaker while doing so. There's no cardigan and she's still gripping that rosary as if she'd never have another baking triumph without it. Smokin' Hot Rosita has been spending her free time banging Spencer, though she also doesn't look happy in her new situation. The look on her face when he asks her to have dinner with him pretty much says it all.

Carol finds Daryl messing with his motorcycle and he bums a smoke. He tells Carol he should have killed the people who took his bike and crossbow, but he chose to save them instead. She looks conflicted...because that's Carol's status quo these days. Daryl asks what the people who kidnapped her and Maggie did to them and Carol says "To us? They didn't do anything." She then walks away to resume her angsty status on her porch swing.  Cue the opening credits.

I Can Make An Explosion
Abraham and Eugene go on a run and have some bro time, though their trip is nothing like the Rick/Daryl extravaganza we saw a few weeks ago. Eugene wants his ginger friend to know that he has entered "Stage 2" of the zombie apocalypse process. He now considers himself a survivor. Abraham ignores this and makes his way into a building he and Eugene had been looking for.

Eugene explains that this building is an area where they can make bullets. This is how Stage 2 Eugene is going to make a substantial contribution to the community and Abraham is excited. Their conversation is interrupted by a Walker who Eugene calls dibs on. "Dibs is dibs." Stage 2 Eugene isn't able to overpower this Walker though and Abraham kills it...even though Eugene called dibs. Eugene is super pissed that Abraham did not honor the dibs and says he had the entire situation under control. Abraham says Eugene should stick to using his brain, which is what Eugene is good at, and Abraham says he will stick to killing Walkers, which is what Abraham is good at. They argue and exchange some hilarious albeit hurtful words ("you'd have better luck picking up a turd by its clean end!") before Eugene tells Abraham that his services are no longer required. "You've outlived your usefulness to me." Abraham tells Stage 2 Eugene to find his own way home and the two part ways.

All Those Things I Didn't Say
Denise is looking for a way to contribute to Alexandria's rehabilitation and she remembers that at one point before she arrived in the community, she saw a strip mall nearby with an apothecary. Sure she did. I mean, I live in Virginia and I can't count the number of times I've been to one of the strip malls here and not seen an apothecary. They're everywhere. Like Starbucks. Anyway, Denise has a map with what she believes is the exact location of said apothecary that she just remembered exists and probably has a shit ton of medical supplies the town needs. She enlists Smokin' Hot Rosita and Daryl to go with her to this magical place because, you know, she hasn't actually left Alexandria since first arriving there and is in need of people who know what the hell they're doing. All of this aside, I love Denise and her awkward demeanor. If she wasn't Tara's woman, I'd love to see what a Denise/Eugene match up would be like.

Off they go in an old beat up truck that Daryl can barely handle. They encounter a tree in the road and Denise stays in the car as her protectors assess the situation. She looks sad as she watches them survey the area and kill approaching Walkers. She has an "I want to be able to do that too" look on her face that we will see quite a bit throughout the hour.

Once the area is clear, Daryl says they need to proceed on foot and wants to stay on the road. Smokin' Hot Rosita notes that following the train tracks is going to be much faster but I think Mr. Dixon has had his fair share of train track adventures. He starts down the road, Rosita starts down the tracks, and Denise opts to follow Daryl. By the time the two of them reach the apothecary, Smokin' Hot Rosita is pretty much sitting there twiddling her thumbs. Denise apologizes for making it seem like she chose Daryl over her (um, you did sweetie), and she tries to engage Rosita in a "how'd you become such a badass?" conversation. Rosita's answer is "a lot of people taught me a lot of things." So much for girl time.

Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita clear the apothecary while Denise stands on the sidelines again. They find the mother load of prescription drugs and while Daryl and Rosita pry the pharmacy window open, Denise steals a key chain that I assume has her name on it. That's a nice little souvenir for her first run. She then peeks into a room where a Walker lies on the ground, weighted down by a cast on its leg. Denise raises her machete, but before she can kill it, she spots a crib...then the words "hush, hush, hush"  written on the wall...then a bloody baby shoe. She leaves the room quickly but keeps herself from vomiting. Nicely done.

Can You Hear My Voice This Time?
The apothecary trio heads back to the truck on foot (via train tracks by the way) and Denise is disappointed in herself because she didn't put her machete in that Walker's head. Daryl tells Denise she did a great job finding the place and they talk about Denise's twin brother, Dennis. Yup. Dennis and Denise. She tells Daryl that nothing scared her brother - he was angry and brave, which was a dangerous combination. Daryl tells her Merle was the same way and they have a nice little moment.

They approach a car that has a Walker inside as well as a cooler. Smokin' Hot Rosita and Daryl do not think the cooler is worth the trouble, but Denise is still trying to redeem herself. She opens the car door and the Walker nearly kills her. She ends up mounting it and stabbing in the head and she's okay. Stupid, but okay. At one point she stands with her back toward the open car door and I'm thinking another Walker is going to jump out and bite her, but I'm thankfully wrong. Denise pukes on her glasses, opens the cooler, finds pop orange soda, and she is quite pleased with herself.

Back on the train tracks Daryl and Rosita scold Denise for being reckless, but Denise launches into a pretty awesome monologue about what this trip meant to her. She looks at Daryl. "I asked you to come with me because you're brave like my brother and sometimes you actually make me feel safe." She looks at Rosita. "And I wanted you here because you're alone, probably for the first time in your life, and because you're stronger than you think you are which gives me hope that I can be too. I could have gone with Tara. I could have told her I love her but I didn't because I was afraid." She goes on to talk about what great, smart people Daryl and Rosita are and I seriously love everything that is happening...right up until an arrow flies through the back of Denise's head into her eye socket. My first thought: "Carl is SO not going to want to share his eye patch." My second thought: "Nooooooooo!"

People come running out of the woods with weapons and they are holding Eugene hostage. The head of this group is Dwight, the jackass who Daryl should have killed, didn't kill, and who made off with Daryl's bike and crossbow. Sure, Daryl got his motorcycle back....but his crossbow is the weapon that just killed Denise. Ugh. Daryl and Smokin' Hot Rosita are outnumbered and put down their weapons. Dwight says he only killed Denise to send a message, and he missed his desired target anyway. He tells Daryl and Rosita that they are going to take his group back to Alexandria so The Saviors can make the same "what's yours is mine" mandate that they already have with Hilltop. Eugene spots Abraham hiding nearby and outs him. When Dwight's douchbags go to capture Abraham, Dwight is distracted and Stage 2 Eugene takes action. He bites Dwight in the crotch and doesn't let go. Ha! YES EUGENE. A gunfight ensues, several douchebags go down, Eugene is injured, and Dwight is able to escape. Instead of going after them, Abraham, Daryl and Rosita choose wisely and are quick to get Eugene as well as Denise's body back home.

Losing Friends And I'm Chasing Sleep
Turns out the antibiotics the apothecary trio found earlier end up being critical to Eugene's recovery. Since Eugene would have probably been captured regardless of Denise's journey to find bravery, it's safe to say she saved his life with her spontaneous strip mall apothecary. Eugene "allows" Abraham the opportunity to apologize for his earlier demeaning remarks and they become bros again. Abraham and Smokin' Hot Rosita then exchange "I got your back even though we're broken up" sentiments, and then Abraham head's to Sasha's house to tell her he doesn't want to waste any more time without her. She invites him inside and I throw up in my mouth a little.

I still don't suck as much as Morgan.

Darryl is prepping Denise's grave and he finds the key chain Denise swiped back at the store. It says "Dennis," not Denise, and Daryl clutches it then puts it in his pocket. Sniff. Carol helps Daryl bury Denise and she tells him he was right when he said he should have killed Dwight to begin with. We then see Tobin reading a note from Carol that is essentially to her friends (family!) as well. We hear her voice say she is leaving Alexandria because she loves them and she knows she can no longer kill for them. "Don't come after me, please." The episode ends with Carol's empty porch swing swaying with an ashtray full of cigarette butts.

AGGGGHHHHH! We've lost Carol again?!?! How many more times is this going to happen?!?! And how many more eyeballs is TWD going to take out before the series ends? This episode got me fired up. First, the writers must hate Tara. Like, hate her. Her sister, niece and former girlfriend were all wiped out in the same day at the prison, she spent a ton of time being useless, and she barely had a chance to shack up with Denise before the pretend doctor took an arrow through her head. How many more lesbians are milling about in the northern Virginia area? She might be out of luck at this point...

Fans of the comics will note that the crossbow death was actually meant for another character (a more major character than Denise) which leads me to wonder what other changes are in store for The Saviors story line. With 2 episodes to go, is Dwight "the bad guy" we're facing for the rest of the season? Is Denise's death going to pale in comparison to a major death coming in April? Regardless, she had a hell of an exit and I'm going to miss her. Here's hoping the gyno from Hilltop makes house calls.

The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep. 13: The Same Boat

When we last left the Grimes group, Rick was preparing to pat himself on the back in celebration of taking out Negan and The Saviors. Unfortunately Maggie and Carol's capture prevented him from getting that party started. This week we find out how Maggie and Carol were taken, how they handle captivity, and how their imprisonment comes to an end (hint: lots of bloodshed). Here's what happened in "The Same Boat."

The Hands Of Uncertainty

The episode begins with Carol and Maggie hurrying toward the alarm coming from Negan's compound. Carol pulls a gun on a man approaching behind Maggie and shoots him in the arm. In the arm? What the hell? Carol has way better aim than that! No time to think about it now though because two women appear with guns raised to Carol and Maggie's heads, and our girls are forced to surrender their weapons. Maggie looks pissed and Carol...looks scared. Get it together Carol!

The sun comes up and we are back to where we left off last week. Paula, played by Alicia Witt, is on the walkie talkie telling Rick to lower their guns. She allows Carol and Maggie to both get on the walkie talkie and say they're okay, and Rick wants to arrange a trade: Carol and Maggie for their guy, Primo (who had Daryl's beloved bike). Paula lets the situation go quiet for a bit and then says "I'll get back to you." Cue the opening credits. 

Whatever Pain May Come

Paula and company put hoods over Maggie and Carol's heads, tie them up, gag them, and transport them to a different facility. It's labeled "The Kill Floor" but it's been invaded by Walkers since The Saviors have been away. Maggie and Carol are then dumped in a room that kinda looks the area from the original Saw movie. Carol spots a rosary on the ground and is able to shove it in her pants pocket before beginning to hyperventilate. I'm really, really hoping this is all an act. Paula's co-Savior, Molly takes her gag off and Carol reaches for the rosary, squeezing it tightly in her tied hands as she catches her breath. Chelle, another Savior, keeps her gun on Carol while Paula tends to the prick Carol shot. They are all wondering how someone so afraid has made it so far (if they only knew). Carol says "It doesn't matter what happens to me. Just don't hurt Maggie. Don't hurt the baby." This plea includes asking Molly to put out her cigarette. "Those things will kill you." Molly is laughing and coughing blood into a towel. "They already have. I'm a dead woman walking, just like you...which puts us exactly in the same boat." 

The prick Carol shot, Donnie, is bitching about his arm and rightly so - Paula's makeshift tourniquet might as well be made of silly string. Maggie says Donnie's nerves are dying and he's going to lose his arm, so Donnie gets all worked up and wants to shoot Carol in the arm as payback. Paula intervenes, he hits Paula, Maggie attacks him, he grabs Maggie by the back of the head, Carol attacks him, he kicks the shit out of Carol, then finally Paula knocks his ass out with her gun. Whew. 

What I've Done 

Chelle takes Maggie into a separate room to interrogate her. She wants Maggie to tell her where she and the rest of her people live and Maggie throws up a little. "Help yourself and the baby in your belly. You're not the good guys. You should know that." Maggie notices that Chelle is missing a finger and asks what happened. Chelle explains she got caught stealing gas as she was trying to travel to find her boyfriend's body. Turns out her boyfriend was one of the motorcyclists blown up by Daryl. Oops. Chelle also reveals that she had been pregnant and lost her baby. Oh Maggie. This bitch hates you. 

Meanwhile Rick is on the walkie talkie trying once again to negotiate with Paula, but she's still holding out on making a deal. Carol pleads with her, saying Rick is a man of his word and this is the only way for everyone to come out of this situation safely. She tells Paula and Molly they were only trying to kill Negan because they thought he would come for them first. Before Molly chokes up some more blood and then lights up another cigarette (modern medicine), she says "Sweetie, sweetie. We are all Negan." Well what the hell does that mean?

Carol still has the "I'm super scared" look about her and tries to relate to Paula by telling her about her abusive husband and mentioning how her "faith" got her through Sophia's death. Paula interrupts her, saying they are nothing alike, and relays her story... in the pre-apocalyptic world she was a secretary who spent her days fetching coffee for her boss. When the virus broke out she was at work and unable to evacuate. "I was stuck with my boss. Not my family. Not my husband...my four girls." Ouch. Paula knew her boss was weak and killed him. She doesn't even count how many people she's killed anymore. She says she's stopped caring. 

Cross Out What I've Become

Paula calls Rick on the walkie talkie and says she's ready to make the trade. He tells her he will meet them in 10 minutes but Paula is suspicious. That negotiation was too easy. She's prepping for a fight, has called in reinforcements, and she and Molly go to clear the Walkers out of the hall toward the front door. Carol is alone now and sharpens the cross of the rosary against the floor, then uses it to cut herself free. That's the woman I know and love! She finds Maggie in the next room (I guess Chelle also went to clear a hallway? How did that conversation end?) and unties her. Carol wants to make a run for it but Maggie says they can't leave without killing these Saviors. Duh, Carol. 

They approach knocked out Donnie first and Maggie releases his silly string tourniquet. Just before they leave the room, she ties him up to a nearby pipe so Walker Donnie can bite off a good portion of Molly's arm when she returns. Maggie finishes her off and Carol does...nothing. The girls head through an uncleared hallway and hear gunshots. Paula. Is. Pissed. She's out of bullets and Carol holds her gun at Paula and tells her to run. Whoa. WHAT?!?! Maggie has the same WTF look on her face as I do and yells "shoot her!" A Walker grabs Carol, Carol accidentally shoots Paula in the arm, and Paula takes off running. Maggie quickly goes after her...because Maggie isn't effing around at this point...but she runs into Chelle instead. Chelle is weilding a knife and cuts Maggie's stomach, so Carol shoots her in the head. Oh thanks Carol. Better late than never. Maggie and Carol turn the corner to see wounded Paula near the Walkers. In ANOTHER moment of weakness, Paula almost kills Carol...but Carol throws her at a Walker and he bites her face off. Side note: Alicia Witt was fantastic in this episode. I'm kind of disappointed her villain story didn't last longer. 

A latte sounds good right about now. 

Carol picks up the walkie talkie and lets the reinforcements know to come to "The Kill Floor," which they do. The Saviors enter the room that once held Maggie and Carol and by the time they realize there's gasoline on the floor, it's too late. Carol has lit one of Molly's cigarette, tossed it in, and shut and locked the door. The dudes go up in flames. Oh, and speaking of better late than never, Rick, Glenn, Daryl and the rest of the gang arrive just as Maggie and Carol are safely exiting the building. Daryl sweetly hugs Carol and asks if she's okay (she says no). Maggie cries and tells Glenn "I can't anymore." Primo realizes he's shit out of luck and Rick asks him one last time where he got Daryl's bike. He says he found it. Rick asks if Negan was in the other building last night or this one. Primo says "Both. I'm Negan shithead. Let's have a chat." Rick shoots him in the head, Carol is grips the rosary so tight her hand bleeds, and the hour ends. 

So...I need the old Carol back IMMEDIATELY. This is the woman who killed Karen and David because they might, maybe, possibly pass their flu along to others. This is the woman who single-handedly blew shit up at Terminus. And this is the woman who killed a crazypants child to protect herself, Tyreese, and baby Judith. This new badass-less Carol, however, is scaring me. Characters that have moments of weakness die. Or they cause deaths of people we don't want to die. Either way, she's moving toward the final episodes of the season on a path that makes me very unhappy. Will she get her act together? Is Maggie going to adopt a "Mother Maggie" persona now? Is Morgan going to see what's happening with Carol and wanna tap that? Is there still hope for a Carol/Daryl romance? Only one thing is for sure at the moment...Daryl and Morgan could both easily beat Tobin's ass without breaking a sweat. You're out of your league, dude.  Step aside. 

The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep. 12: Not Tomorrow Yet

You know how sometimes The Walking Dead episodes end and you're sitting there thinking "WTF?!?" Well, tonight is one of those nights. In this hour we find out that the post-apocalypse barter system is not as easy as Rick thought it would be, and while love is in the air for some, love has been completely sucked out of the air for others. We also get a look at our heroes struggling with how things are vs. how they want things to be and/or who they are vs. who they want to be. Here's how those battles played out in "Not Tomorrow Yet."

I Wanna Hide The Truth

The episode opens with Carol (I've missed you so!) prepping to make another epic batch of cookies. The scenes cut back and forth between Carol in the kitchen looking thoughtful and Carol in the woods collecting acorns...and killing Walkers. All in a day's work. Carol is struggling a bit between the badass she turned into after Sophia died and the community mom she became after arriving in Alexandria. Sure it was a ruse for a while because she wanted to fly under the radar, but the truth is Carol is just as much of a happy homemaker as she is a fierce bitch. Turns out she's been keeping a diary of the humans she has killed - 18 so far including the most recent group of Wolves she disposed of. This is starting to trouble her. 

When her cookie batch is complete, Carol is nice enough to use exponentially more tupperware containers than this community should possibly have to deliver individual packs of goodies to the fine people of Alexandria. Where did all of these air tight boxes come from? The same CVS that developed the one-eyed Carl and Judith on the porch photo? Anyway, one of the lucky recipients of said cookies is Tobin, who I barely remembered until he opened his front door. Could they be flirting? I need Daryl. STAT!

Well wouldn't you know it? The Jesusmobile returns home just in time! Seems the Grimes group decided to come back to Alexandria to recruit assassins before embarking on the "let's kill Negan and errrrybody in his settlement" plan. Rick holds a town meeting in Gabriel's church to let everyone know about The Saviors and try to sell his Hilltop trade plan. Morgan in particular is not buying and instead encourages Rick to reason with Negan's group before turning to violence. "Where there's life, there's possibility." Rick would prefer the element of surprise and everyone is in agreement with him. The Alexandrians are not interested in another attack on their town and they view The Saviors just as they did the Wolves. 

Don't Get Too Close

On the eve of the Grimes gang invasion, Maggie reasons with Glenn that she should be part of the trip. She was the one who made the deal with Deanna Gregory after all, and she'll be safe if she's just keeping watch. Totally. I can't imagine any safer place for a pregnant woman to be than on the outskirts of a killing mission. Would Rick have allowed pregnant Lori to participate in this shit? Probably not, but at the same time, pregnant Lori was as useless as not pregnant Lori....and ghost Lori. Really pregnant Maggie is much more reliable than all versions of Lori. So okay, I'm on board with this. 

Meanwhile Carol is roaming through the dark streets of Alexandria smoking a cigarette. She hears someone say "those things will kill ya," which is what she had said to one of her neighbors juuuust before one of the Wolves took a machete to that neighbor's head. Interesting. Tobin is sitting on his porch steps ready for some more flirting. They share a smoke and Tobin tells Carol he's worried about her going on this trip. He talks about her motherly qualities and compliments her strength. Tobin says Carol is a mom to almost everyone in Alexandria, but not him. "You're something else to me." Then he kisses her. Then she kissed him back. Then I'm flipping out. 

Also sharing a sweet moment? Doctor Denise and Tara. Denise is on edge thinking about Tara not coming back from Negan-land and Tara tells Denise she loves her. Awwww. Denise says she'll say it back when Tara returns home safely. More smooching. 

Not everyone is using the evening to have heart to hearts (or lips to lips) with their significant others though. Smokin' Hot Rosita is confused when she finds Abraham packing up and leaving their love nest. He gives her some bullshit reasons until she really lays into him. "When we first met I thought you were the last woman on earth. You're not." Asshole. He leaves, she cries, Eugene stands in the doorway wearing a "Virginia Is For Lovers" t-shirt, and she slams the door on him as he begins to talk about how awesome Carol's cookies are. Heh. I seriously love that guy. 

Where My Demons Hide

The Jesusmobile hits the road again with a caravan of volunteer killers. Gabriel is one of them. He's still wearing his priest garb but he he's toting a gun now and wants to contribute. See Morgan? Even HE gets it. Rick announces they will attack just before dawn and people are starting to look a little uneasy, Carol especially. She tells Rick she is going to stay with Maggie who was apparently going to protect the perimeter all by herself. Carol makes it known that she doesn't think Maggie should be there to begin with. Look on the bright side Carol - at least Carl's not there too. 

Glenn and Heath are tasked with finding a Walker who looks like Deanna Gregory so they can pretend Negan's demand had been met. They discuss that neither of them have had to kill a person before and they're both incredibly nervous. They return to the group with a few viable Gregory head options to trade for kidnapped Craig. After punching one in the face and breaking the nose to make it seem Gregory-esque, Rick thinks their plan is full proof. 

The Hilltop dude who survived the last unsuccessful trade with Negan approaches the front of the compound with the Walker head. The guards fall for it and return Craig...and the attack commences immediately. The Grimes group assumes The Saviors are all sleeping and they make their way through the building, silently killing everyone in their beds. Glenn cries when he kills his first victim and he kills for Heath as well so his buddy won't have that on his conscience. Whatta guy. Everything is going really well until Abraham and Sasha encounter a guy in one of the hallways. For whatever reason Sasha stabs him, doesn't quite finish him off, and he pulls the fire alarm. Shit. They have to shoot their way out now and they do so successfully. Tara and Gabriel take care of the Saviors running out of the building and strangely enough, Gabriel handles his kills easier than Glenn does. 

Carol and Maggie hear the alarm sounding from the road and Carol starts toward the compound. Maggie follows her and Carol gives her hell. When Maggie asks "What am I supposed to do?" Carol replies, "You're supposed to be someone else! You're staying here." Oh my. Happy homemaker Carol is looking for strong-willed Maggie to embrace her role as soccer mom. Can't she be both? Is that Carol's issue? She wants to become a full time baker?

The Mess You Made

Daylight comes and our heroes have seemingly done away everyone on the compound. They are hugging each other, doing the "good job" arm jabs, and so on. Not Michonne though...she's still uneasy. As she wonders which dead dude might be Negan, we see one more Savior try to escape, and on Daryl's motorcycle no less! Smokin' Hot Rosita shoots him and Daryl is quick to grab the guy and beat the shit out of him. Rick stands by with his gun...and then we hear an unfamiliar voice on walkie talkie telling them to lower their weapons. Whoever this is, they have Maggie and Carol! 

Damn it! And I can't even blame Carl for this debacle! Aggghhh! Well, so much for the quick "kill Negan, get food, go home" plan. The pregnant woman who should have stayed home has been taken captive along with the badass who might not want to be so bad anymore. Super. Given what we already know about Negan, and given the number of Saviors Rick's group just murdered in their sleep, this is not going to end well. 

Will Negan actually show his face next week? Will Carol and Maggie be rescued unscathed? Will Jesus be able to negotiate some sort of truce (it is almost Easter after all) before more violence ensues? What is this failed attempt to kill Negan going to cost the Grimes gang and the Alexandria community? Regardless... WTF?!?

The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep. 11: Knots Untie

I went into this week's episode thinking something I never thought was possible for this show: "I wonder what Jesus will do on The Walking Dead tonight?" What Jesus actually does tonight is take us to his leader...not God unfortunately (wouldn't that be something?), but we do find out why Jesus was out and about near Alexandria and we get a glimpse of the environment he's been living in. Here's what went down in "Knots Untie."

I Can't Do This On My Own

The hour opens with Abraham and Sasha flirting up a storm during the daily guard shift they share. Sasha must realize the situation is getting weird because she tells Abraham she is letting Eugene(!) take over her shift and she'll be taking a different one from now on. Abraham looks bummed and I'm bummed for Smokin' Hot Rosita. Speaking of which, Abraham goes home to get it on with his current squeeze and I'm thinking all might be well with the world. Smokin' Hot Rosita even gives him a necklace she's made out of a piece of break light. She loooooves him...but his mind is still on Sasha. 

Jesus, meanwhile, is waiting for Rick and Michonne to put their cloths on. Carl creeps up behind him with his gun and seriously - if an intruder was not enough of a surprise for the kid, seeing his dad and Michonne half clothed stumbling out of the bedroom had to have put one hell of a strain on his remaining eyeball. Somehow Abraham, Glenn, Maggie and Daryl sensed the commotion in the house and they arrive as well with their guns poised and ready. Once everyone is clothed and settled down, Jesus explains where he came from...to my disappointment, the story does not involve immaculate conception. 

Jesus lives in a community called Hilltop. They raise livestock and grow crops and Jesus offers to take a car full of Alexandrians home with him to prove his story. Jesus believes Rick and company are all good people and he wants Hilltop to start trading with Alexandria like they do with other communities. Maggie stops him...you're already trading with other groups? "You're world's about to get a whole lot bigger." Roll the opening credits. 

Running Low On Faith And Gasoline

As the Grimes gang is prepping for another road trip, Carl is prepping for another stint at home watching Judith. It sucks to be Carl. Here's hoping Rick isn't expecting him to do the laundry while he's gone...can't imagine what those sheets are like right now. Anywho, Rick approaches him to apologize about him finding out about the Michonne romance the way he did. Carl says "it's cool," and the RV is off and chewing up some asphalt with Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Daryl and Abraham in tow. 

The group comes across a car accident which they initially assume is a trap set by Jesus (priceless). The beautifully bearded man denies it though, and after realizing the dead people in the car are from Hilltop, he's rather panicky. There are tracks leading from the car crash into a nearby building and the boys go check it out while Maggie and Michonne guard Jesus. Our heroes end up saving a handful of trapped Hilltop residents including Harlan, the resident doctor. He seems to have wayyyyy more experience than Denise and he offers prenatal vitamins to Maggie. #Winning

The RV reaches Hilltop but gets miserably stuck in the mud upon arrival. Rut roh. I guess we're going to worry about it later though because the group treks through the mud and heads straight into the community. And lo and behold - Jesus was telling the truth. He explains that most of the inhabitants came from a FEMA camp and they brought trailers with them. These tiny dwellings surround Barrington House, which is a huge living history museum that houses Deanna Gregory, who is the community leader. Okay...come on Hilltopians. You have a guy named Jesus in your community but you're letting some dude named Gregory be in charge? Humph. Anyway, Deanna Gregory wants the Grimes group to go get washed up before they get to talking about anything important. "It's hard to keep this place clean." Interesting. 

Rick nominates Maggie as the goodwill ambassador and she gladly has a one on one meeting with Deanna Gregory. He keeps calling her 'Natalie' but she keeps a smile on while she tries to learn more about Hilltop. Apparently this place has been thriving since the apocalypse hit. Deanna Gregory grills Maggie on what kind of crops exist in Alexandria and what their arsenal looks like at the moment. This dude seems like a total douche canoe. "You guys don't have shit. And we don't just give things away for free." 

Save Me From This Road I'm On

"Viewers are really going to hate my ass.""

Sooooo what's the angle here? Why did Jesus bring Rick and company to Hilltop if Deanna Gregory is an asshole who doesn't want to build any neighborly relations? Well, it seems Negan is a thorn in Hilltop's side and a trio of people from the community soon return from a failed trade attempt with Negan. A lumberjack looking fellow tells Deanna Gregory that Negan killed almost everyone else that went with them, and Negan is holding their buddy Craig hostage in exchange for a favor. Said favor is lumberjack fellow killing Deanna Gregory. Unfortunately, he only gets one stab in. Rick kills lumberjack fellow, Daryl breaks another guy's arm, Abraham is nearly strangled, and Jesus intervenes and makes everything better (naturally).

Back inside Barrington House, Rick asks Jesus to spill the beans on Negan. We learn Negan is the leader of the Saviors (again...you pick Negan as your leader when Jesus is nearby?) and he frequently threatens violence when he does not get his way. The Saviors get half of everything from Hilltop. In return, the people of Hilltop get to live. Daryl calls bullshit and tells Jesus that he nuked a bunch of Negan's guys just weeks ago. He follows that up with: "We'll do it. If we go get your man back, kill Negan, will you hook us up? We want food, medicine, and one of them cows." HA! Maggie meets with a recovering Deanna Gregory and makes him an official trade offer. He's still a total jackass but he agrees to an arrangement...an arrangement that includes half of what Hilltop has. You go girl. Maybe Maggie should always do the negotiating?

So off they go to kill Negan in the miraculously unstuck RV. One of the recent Negan compound returnees joins them and Jesus jumps in as well. Woohoo! Rick and Michonne are embarking on this mission arm in arm, and Abraham starts this journey with a new lease on life. He also starts this journey without the necklace from Smokin' Hot Rosita. Dude. She's SO much better than Sasha. Get your shit together. 

The episode ends with the results of Maggie's ultrasound (Hilltop has some serious medical equipment handy). The baby is totally healthy...so it totally makes sense for Maggie to take the trip to Negan's compound with the rest of the gang. Wait, what? Why is she going? Why is this okay?!?!

We are about a month out from the season finale and I'm wondering when we will actually meet Negan. Given that Hilltop's introduction was incredibly similar to Alexandria's introduction, I'm hoping we don't spend a ton of time without action now like we did in the early days of trying to figure out the whole "community thing." Will we have some sort of showdown before the season ends? Is this just a setup for Season 7? Is Morgan going to jump in on all of this violence? And where the hell is Carol? This shit is right up her ally!