The Walking Dead Season 6 Ep 3: Thank You

First and foremost, what many people believe happened in tonight's episode of The Walking Dead is not what I believed happened in tonight's episode of The Walking Dead. We'll get to that later. Last week we saw everything that was going on in Alexandria while Rick and company were on their mission to lead an army of Walkers away from the area. In "Thank You" we revisit Rick's group in the aftermath of hearing that very loud horn that is thwarting their plans. Here's what happened: 

I Might Not Last The Day

Rick and his team are running through the woods after the portion of the Walkers that broke from the group and made a quick turn toward Alexandria. He gets Daryl on the walkie talkie and tells him to keep moving as planned. At least Daryl still has a ton of Walkers following him. Rick's group consists of Michonne, Glenn, Heath, Nicholas (he still sucks), and a handful of locals who aren't much help. Right away, the only other female in the group takes a page right out of Tara's playbook and hurts her ankle. Sheesh.  Rick comes up with a new plan - he will run toward the empty RV in the road and pull it around to divert the rogue Walkers. He wants to go alone and tells everyone else to make their way home. He pulls Glenn and Michonne aside to give them instructions. "If something is in front of you, you kill it. No hiding. No waiting. You keep going." Michonne and Glenn point out the inexperience of the rest of the group and Rick isn't sympathetic. "You try to save them. You try. But if they can't keep up, you keep going." Pretty sure you are still within earshot of these people, Rick. 

This happy little chat is cut short when they hear yelling. Yup, one of the guys in their group has already been attacked by a Walker and has had his throat torn out. Maybe Rick isn't being so harsh after all. Michonne puts her sword through his head and then they hear the horn stop. Silver lining? Do those exist on this show? 

Rick heads to the RV and the locals are paranoid as they walk back home. There's a lot of "We have no idea what we're walking into" and "It's over, we're dead already" stuff. Michonne and Glenn put them in their place and the group presses on. They come across some Walkers and Glenn and Michonne try to take them on alone. They specifically tell the locals not to jump in unless they have to. Pretty sure they don't have to but they do anyway. One dude thinks it's a good idea to use his gun (though he has clearly not used one before), shoots another dude in the leg in the process, then promptly runs away. Super. Now we've got two leg injuries. Another guy gets bit on the back but Michonne and Glenn let him continue. I guess there's no sense in killing him right now when he might prove to be an absolute pain in the ass helpful later on. 

The group comes upon an abandoned (obviously) street with some shops and a lot of broken down, useless cars. Glenn tells Michonne that as much as he needs to get home, he feels he can't leave anyone behind. Nicholas finds a hat on the ground that belonged to the idiot that ran away in the woods...and then they find the idiot just around the corner getting torn apart by Walkers. Who didn't see that coming? Everyone starts backtracking but there are now Walkers coming in all directions. Off to the nearest store they go. 

Glenn comes up with a plan to burn a nearby building down in order to distract the Walkers outside. Lots of distracting going on today. He wants to go it alone and Michonne is not happy. She reminds him that he has a wife at home and Glenn says that's exactly why he wants to do this - to ensure the Walkers do not find Alexandria. "We all have a job to do." Nicholas offers to go with Glenn because he knows the area well...you know, because of all those runs he went on where people on his team always died. He sucks. 

There'll Be Hell Today

Rick is heading toward the RV, taking out Walkers along the way, when Glenn radios in to say he's going to set a building on fire. "If you don't see smoke, they're still coming your way. I gotta go. Good luck dumb ass." Heh. It's like the Pilot episode all over again. Don't screw it up, Rick. He does make it to the RV and hauls ass toward Alexandria. 

Michonne is trying to keep things calm and tends to the two leg injuries. They appreciate the help but tell Heath to leave them behind because they're slowing everyone down. Heath doesn't want to hear it and Michonne confirms that she won't leave them behind. They hear gunshots coming from Alexandria and are terrified as they see all of the Walkers outside head toward home. The ones inside that were locked in the storeroom inside, however, are more interested in the flesh in the store. Oh shit. The commotion lures the outside Walkers back to the store and these guys are in serious trouble. 

They open the front doors and use everything they have to brush past the Walkers and get out of there. Leg injury #1 falls down right away. She's toast. The group runs into a dead end at a fence and they have a hell of a time getting everyone over. They don't. The guy with the back bite is done for. Well, he was done for anyway. Michonne and Health get leg injury #2 home safely, but home definitely isn't how they left it. 

Meanwhile, Rick gets the RV to the right place and radios Glenn but Glenn isn't answering. He doesn't have time to think about it though because one of The Wolves busts into the vehicle in with a gun. Wait, when did they get guns? Daryl hears the gunfire and takes off toward the RV. Rick has already shot the guy but there are more outside. Wait though...the guy he shot has baby food in his pocket. Did those assholes take Judith? We didn't actually get a clear shot of the baby cam when Carl pulled out the casserole at the end of last week's episode. Damn it Carl! Rick shoots the remaining Wolves...but now the RV won't start...and here come the Walkers! Why wasn't there any smoke?

My Head Just Feels In Pain

Glenn and Nicholas make their way through the streets. The building Nicholas wanted to burn down is already in ruins...because Nicholas SUCKS. The duo encounters a dead end with a fence as well. There's a dumpster right there, so they can climb over the fence, right? Nope. There are just as many Walkers on the other side of the fence as there are coming toward them in the alley. Doesn't look good. They shoot and stab what they can, then Nicholas and Glenn climb up on the dumpster...and see their survival odds dwindling as the Walkers are within inches of yanking them down for a meal. It's too much for Nicholas. He's in his own world for a second before he faces Glenn, says "thank you," and shoots himself in the head. WTF?!?! He falls on top of Glenn and they fall to the ground. You have to be effing kidding me. We see Glenn's face in agony as Walkers are tearing through somebody's insides and I assume they are Nicholas' organs we see being passed around. When the camera pans out though, it seems like Glenn is part of the slaughter. My heart stops for just a second, but then I decide I'm not buying it....

Reasons Glenn is NOT dead:

1) There are no witnesses. If a major character dies then someone needs to see it. With the Walkers dismantling Nicholas they way they are, it's not like Glenn would have the opportunity to walk out of a barn like Sophia did. 

2) The Walkers were seriously tearing shit up. Not sure how Glenn would have his head raised and looking around if he were the equivalent of The Scarecrow: "First they tore my legs off and threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there!" I will say it's a bit suspicious that none of these Walkers took a bite out of Glenn's face, but then again, maybe they were super pre-occupied with Nicholas....because he sucks. 

3) There was definitely room under the dumpster for Glenn to fit. He's surrounded by Walkers and has guts all over him, so he could just roll under there and wait it out.

4) Spoiler alert: Glenn's death in the comics is epic and the producers owe him that if they're going to kill him off.

5) No one should hate Maggie that much. 

On to other things though - has Judith been kidnapped? Did that little shit Enid take Judith before she left the note for Carl? Carl, whose one job was to protect Judith? If that story line is coming, I'm going to be pisssssed. My guess is Morgan will want to talk it out. Maybe they can have a bonfire with The Wolves and sing camp songs to wash all their worries away. Maybe instead of breaking bread, they can share crazy cheese. Maybe Carol will even share one of her water chestnut recipes. Ugh. Regardless of what is happening with Judith, I need Glenn to pop up again as soon as possible. Please, TWD writers, don't let this linger on for long. 

AHS Hotel Episode 3: Mommy

Tonight on American Horror Story: Hotel we raise the body count and meet even more new characters. Alex and Iris are faced with their separate mommy issues, we learn what The Countess has planned for the future of the hotel, and we see the return of Angela Bassett - only this time with two breasts instead of three. The things Lady Gaga could have done with three breasts...anyway, there's a lot happening in this episode and many of our existing characters only make cameos. Here's how "Mommy" played out. 

I Want Your Horror, I Want Your Design

The episode opens with Tristan on a search for James March. He's a fan. He's wandering through the usual haunted spots in the hotel, calling out to James and paying him tons of compliments for all of his "work." Finally Mr. March appears and asks how Tristan has all of that information. "I Googled you." That's fantastic, but James' response is even better. "That sounds obscene." Ha! It sure does, my friend. James then shows his fanboy the black closet...another secret compartment for torture and murder. I'm guessing James is about to take Tristan under his wing and teach him the various methods and locations for murder in the hotel.  

This play date is cut short as they hear Will Drake walking through the hall and discussing the many changes he intends to make to the hotel with his colleague, Claudia. These changes include tearing up the floor where James and Ms. Evers reside. Tristan assures James that he's "got this." He doesn't quite get the chance to exact revenge though - that night when Claudia is getting ready for bed in her room, she clearly doesn't realize she's lying down in the bed where diva-dude Gabriel is sewn into the mattress. He emerges (looking like a very scary Billy Idol) and stabs Claudia to death. It's a shame too - I rather liked her nightgown. 

Tristan may have missed the boat with Claudia, but he does pay Will a visit on his one man tour of the hotel. He apologizes to Will for causing a scene at the fashion show but assures his former boss that he is clean. Will doesn't seem too angry with Tristan anymore and shows him the original blueprints of the hotel. Tristan acts very interested in the designs and begins to seduce Will with the intention of cutting his throat. However, The Countess appears, shaking her head and stopping the bloodshed before it starts. She has her own plans for Mr. Drake. 

Elizabeth entertains Will in her room, sharing some wine and conversation. He reminders her that he's gay but that doesn't concern her. She's pretty set on arousing Mr. Drake anyway and she's successful until Tristan walks in and acts like a douchebag. I wonder if she's sorry she turned him yet... Anyway, Elizabeth gives Will a rain check (that's all she gives him) and takes Tristan to another room. She reveals that she is no longer rich thanks to Bernie Madoff. Ha! I guess his trickery extended to the undead. Because of her need for wealth, she intends to marry Will and kill him later for his money. 

I Want Your Ugly, I Want Your Disease

While Donovan has moved out of Elizabeth's bed, he has not yet moved out of the hotel. Iris sees him walking through the lobby and offers to help him pack. She's thinking they are going to get an apartment together and she's printed out some Craigslist ads for Donovan to look at. He's just terrible to her and tells her she should go kill herself. 

Donovan wanders the streets looking for his next meal. After ignoring one of Elizabeth's rules and feeding on some junkies, he encounters Ramona Royale (Angela Bassett), another of Elizabeth's bitter former lovers. She stuns Donovan and tosses him in the trunk of her car. Ramona is hoping to make Donovan her partner and crime as she plots revenge against The Countess. See, Ramona had been a badass actress in the 70s and Elizabeth was a huge fan. She turned Ramona and things were wonderful for a while, but the relationship began to deteriorate in the 90s. Ramona took another lover, a rapper named Prophet Moses. She turned him in the back of a recording studio...only to find Elizabeth on the other side of the door. She had massacred Mo's entourage. Elizabeth then took a gun and blew the guy's head off...so apparently this strand of vampirism can be ended if you're missing a large portion of your skull. The lesson? Elizabeth's "creations" are not allowed to create. Ramona now wants access to Elizabeth's children so she can dispose of them. Donovan reveals that he was dumped last week and she lets him go. He's of no use to her. 

Iris, meanwhile, gets right to work on killing herself, enlisting Sally and her heroin to help. Sally asks Iris if she has any unfinished business "because I am stuck in this place, thanks to you, so I want to be 100% sure that when I do this I am done with your miserable old ass. In other words, don't haunt my hallways, bitch." Hmmm, so if you die in the hotel but do not have unfinished business, you're not hanging out there forever? Interesting. Iris says she wants the dark silence of death and not to linger in the Hotel Cortez any longer. Sally injects her with a dose lethal enough "to kill and entire marching band" but somehow the old lady is still alive. Okay, onto Plan B. Sally takes a plastic bag and suffocates Iris. 

Donovan bursts in the room. He's just returned to the hotel and had a chat with Liz Taylor about the value of a mother's love. He starts to cry. "She's all I've got." Iris isn't completely dead yet and he is able to turn her. Uh oh. The created has just made his own creation.

I Want Your Drama, The Touch Of Your Hand

John is investigating another Ten Commandments murder. This time an array of office workers who support a gossip website are dead. Thou shalt not bear false witness. The killer even nailed the victims' tongues to their desks while they were still alive. Some of the workers tried to flee Saw style by leaving their tongues behind. They didn't make it far. 

John sees the connection to the previous killings and as he walks into the hotel at the end of the day, he calls a colleague to check on evidence from those cases. A very bloody Gabriel grabs him violently...then passes out on the floor. Apparently he was not rape-murdered by the rubbery skinned guy after all. He has OD symptoms and John rushes him to the hospital. Gabriel tells John "I didn't mean to kill her. I thought it was the other one -  that junkie whore." and then promptly dies. I wonder how Sally is going to feel about all this... 

John returns to the hotel to look for Claudia but finds Ms. Evers applying fresh linen in her room (naturally) and Sally supervising. He grills Sally about the dead junkie wearing blood that was not his own, but Sally claims not to know anything about Gabriel and tells John not to waste his time on junkies. "We only hurt ourselves. It's not like breaking one of the Ten Commandments or anything." John is startled. He thinks he has a break in his case so he cuffs her and forces her into the elevator. Though Sally is being arrested, there's some serious sexual tension here. She has him in the palm of her hand (literally) but when the elevator doors open in the lobby, Sally is gone. 

Don't Call My Name

We catch a glimpse into Alex's thoughts through flashbacks and we learn that she had a bond with Holden as a baby that she never formed with Scarlett. We also learn that she never loved John as much as she did her son. She's had a hell of a time dealing with Holden's disappearance too, taking pills with her pills and even getting to the point where John once found her in their bathtub with her wrists slit. Alex survived (obviously) and only soldiered on because of Scarlett. 

These feelings were front and center at the most recent meeting with the family therapist. Alex told the doctor she's angry because Scarlett keeps swearing Holden is alive. "It's like you're trying to hurt me....us." I'm sure John appreciated the delayed "us." The therapist tried to explain Scarlett's claims as an effort to make the family whole. Scarlett was emotional at that point and told her story again. Her account of the big room with jelly beans and Nintendo started off innocent enough, but when she got to the part about how Holden sleeps in a glass coffin and the bottom of an empty pool, I cringe a little. "He didn't have normal feelings and he smelled like lavender like those candles we have at home." Oh hell. No wonder Alex constantly looks like she hasn't slept in years. 

Tonight Alex visits John at the hotel to have a one on one discussion. She asks why he's so jumpy. He makes some excuses about being tired and focused on the murder case since he can't exactly say "oh I'm just trying to find the junkie who was jerking me off in the elevator before she disappeared into thin air." I guess he actually could have said that...Alex gives him divorce papers, so really the truth wouldn't have exactly ended their marriage. She explains that having John away from the house has been really good and she doesn't want him to come back. She thinks the divorce is necessary for them to move on and for Scarlett to stop making things up. John cries and begs Alex to stay. He tells her he thinks he's going crazy because he's been seeing things. 

She escorts him back to his room and gives him some pills to help him sleep. I guess she had those handy in her purse. Alex tucks him in and he apologizes for everything that has happened. He says he knows Alex always loved Holden the most and he never minded. She kisses him and it looks like they might have break up sex (there is SO much almost sex tonight) but he ruins it. He whispers "let's have another baby" and Alex quickly jumps out of bed and leaves the room. I worry that she won't make it out of the hotel alive since we still don't know Sally's whereabouts; however, Alex runs into someone else instead. Holden stands at the end of the hallway and says "Hi Mommy."

I'm going to need more pills. 

Next week we will be treated (see what I did there?) to the annual AHS Halloween episode which is usually my favorite, or close to it, each season. Will the Ten Commandments killer strike again? Will Ramona get to go on her rampage? Will someone please go ahead and off Tristan? I'm starting to dislike this Finn Wittrock character more than I disliked Dandy Mott. Didn't think that was possible. Oh, and how will Alex handle seeing her son? My guess is she still won't want to make another baby with John. Regardless, here's hoping we get a lot more of James March in the coming weeks. This is my favorite Evan Peters character to date and I want to see the full extent of this guy's insanity. After all, where would the Hotel Cortez be without him?

The Walking Dead Season 6, Ep 2: JSS

While last week's episode of The Walking Dead had us with the troupe leading the many, many, many Walkers from the Alexandria area, tonight's hour is spent in Alexandria during the exact same time. And boy what an hour this was. The suspense in "JSS" was unreal, and folks in Alexandria who were unaware of what the outside world is like these days got the surprise of their lives. The Wolves are no longer coming. They're here.  

Can't Close My Eyes And Make It Go Away

The episode opens with Enid, who I barely cared about before and care even about as "JSS" progresses. We see her pre-Alexandria struggle while traveling with her parents. Their car is stopped on the side of a road where mom and dad are trying to figure out where the fuse is. It's a very inconvenient time to have car trouble. Enid is leaning out of the car door and spots Walkers approaching. She's yelling to her parents and trying to get them to understand the urgency of getting the hell out of there. They are not quite as panicked...but the next time we see them, they are Walker food in the road. A horrified Enid watches this happen from inside the car.

I guess the Walkers have had their fill and move on, because somehow Enid survives the attack and finds herself walking through the forest alone. She crouches and hides where she can when she hears Walkers nearby, and she uses her finger to write the letters "JSS" in the dirt. So, she's leaving a trail for someone to find her? Were mom and dad traveling in a caravan when their car broke down?

Enid continues her journey on foot and finds another abandoned car to spend the night in, leaving "JSS" on the dusty windows before she leaves. She also kills a turtle and eats it raw right out of the shell. Protein? Enid uses the bloody bones to spell "JSS" in the grass. Okay TWD. We get it. She then finds the gates of Alexandria...and the opening credits roll. 

How Long Must We Sing This Song

Carol is in the pantry with the other women who love to talk cooking and baking. She reminisces about the "miracles" she made with water chestnuts. Oh Carol. Truth be told, I really want to try one of her casseroles.  She offers to teach Shelley how to make pasta with her own two hands on one condition - Shelley can't smoke in the house. "It's a disgusting habit and it kills you." This gives me quite a giggle considering how long our heroes probably went without showering and brushing their teeth while they were on the road...and then there's the whole lack of toilets and toilet paper thing. But I guess I wouldn't want my house smelling like smoke either.  

Carol arrives home to find Sam on her front porch. He's mopey and Carol has no time for that. "Your dad used to hit you and then he got himself killed. It happened and now it's done. You live with it or it will eat you up." She brushes past him and tells him to go home. After all, she has a casserole to make. 

Meanwhile, Carl takes Judith on a walk and Gabriel approaches. He asks Carl to teach him how to fight Walkers. I guess Gabriel actually wants to stop sucking. He tells Carl he wants to help and admits he wasn't ready before. Carl isn't happy about this but tells Gabriel to come by later to get started on machete training. He then spots Enid and Ron sharing a hug (because Ron is still 10 kinds of pissed off) but just continues to push the stroller.

When Carl returns home he puts Judith down for a nap. Carol is in the kitchen finishing up her casserole and puts it in the oven. She sets a 40 minute timer next to the "baby cam" and spots the woman with the disgusting habit standing outside across the street with a cigarette in hand. Sure, smoking will kill you...but so will a guy with a machete. The Wolves are everywhere and they are massacring the locals. 

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Carol runs to find Carl who already has his gun ready. She tells him to keep Judith safe and she takes off. Carl is ready to shoot when his front door opens, but it's only Enid. She's come to say goodbye but Carl tells her she has to stay and help him protect his sister. She tells Carl the community is too big to protect. Too many blind spots. "That's how we were able to..." But Carl cuts her off again because he's clueless. "Don't tell me goodbye." Damn it Carl! She's one of them!

Carol is just so amazing. She takes her gun and her cardigan around the side of a house and finds one of the other pantry women being slashed by one of the Wolves. She kills the dude quickly but she's unfortunately too late to save her neighbor. This woman is a goner and Carol ends up putting a knife in her head to stop her crying...I wonder if this is at the same time Rick kills Carter?

Maggie has been trying to get Deanna back on her feet. She's in the process of showing her leader an area where they can start farming (because that worked out so well at the prison) and they hear the commotion in the neighborhood. They also see one of the guards on the wall get hit with a fire bomb. Deanna's remaining son, Spencer, is up in the tower. He's sniping Wolves when he sees a giant rig heading straight for the gate. It crashes, the driver dies, and we now know the source of the loud horn that diverts the Walkers from the woods at the end of last week's episode. Spencer is useless though and is unable to kill the driver/Walker when it's time for him to step up. Suddenly Morgan appears (that was fast!) and takes care of it. Deanna, Maggie and Spencer agree that it's best that Deanna stays the hell out of the way, so Spencer takes her to hide. 

Sam begs Jessie not to leave the house but she's worried about finding Ron. They hear a noise in the house and hide in the closet. Ron meanwhile, is witnessing the bloodshed and running from one of the machete wielding Wolves. Carl shoots the guy from his porch and tells Ron to come inside. Ron is still angsty and runs away. When Jessie thinks her intruders might be gone, she takes her newly acquired gun and makes her way downstairs to look for Ron, leaving Sam in the closet. One of the Wolves attacks her from behind, she loses her gun, and I'm sure she's a goner. I have my own angst as this fight goes on. Jessie, however, channels every bit of anger she must have had with Pete over the years and she doesn't give up. Grabbing a pair of scissors from the kitchen counter (it's handy that she cuts hair for the community), she stabs the intruder. A lot. She's screaming, stabbing, and then stabbing more when Ron walks in. He's terrified. 

Bodies Strewn Across The Dead End Street

Morgan enters the community and realizes who the attackers are. He's not trying to kill anyone though. He wants to talk it out. Morgan approaches the first machete wielding psycho he sees and asks him to stop the violence and leave. Morgan realizes he'll probably have to fight this dude but he doesn't get the chance. Carol comes out of nowhere and kills him. She's wearing a trench coat, she has her face covered, and she's put a "W" on her forehead. She's not messing around, Morgan - no time for talk. Morgan is pissed because he feels he could have stopped the guy. "You don't have to kill people." Carol looks at him as if to say "Are you effing kidding me?" but just tells Morgan she's heading for the armory and needs his help. Get your shit together Morgan - people are being slaughtered left and right!!!

Carol chains Morgan up and drags him behind her. The Wolves have been doing the same with some of their soon to be victims. She looks the part and her plan is working. They pass by someone in trouble though and pause. Realizing it's Gabriel, Carol quickly says "leave him" and I laugh out loud. Morgan of course has to save Gabriel so he breaks free from Carol and knocks out the guy trying to put a knife in Gabriel's throat. Having lost her prisoner, Carol just start shooting all of the Wolves she sees. Ha! She gets to the armory and tries to teach Olivia, the girl who keeps inventory, how to defend herself. She hands her a pistol and puts her finger on the trigger. "Someone comes in, you squeeze and don't stop squeezing til they hit the ground."

Morgan is tying up Gabriel's attacker and he wakes up. He looks and Gabriel and Morgan and says "You need to know that people don't belong here anymore." That's all he is able to say because Carol walks up and puts a bullet in his head. This shouldn't be funny. It shouldn't. But the look on Morgan's face is just priceless. Dude, you just wasted so much time with this guy while people are getting sliced open all around the neighborhood. Carol's approach is just so much more effective. 

Smokin Hot Rosita and Aaron are making their way around town with guns as well and are killing the Wolves as fast as they can (you're on your own, Morgan). Morgan finds himself surrounded by Wolves and he tells them they need to leave because his people have guns. "You keep choosin' this life, you will die." One of the Wolves responds "we didn't choose," and then he takes his group and leaves. Morgan feels pretty good about this until he comes across one of the Wolves he had met in the woods last season. This guy is relentless and Morgan has to kill him. Yup, that's usually how it goes buddy. 

The Real Battle Just Begun

Eugene and Tara are at the clinic and find a new "doctor" in charge since Pete is...no longer available. Denise didn't actually finish med school. She wanted to become a surgeon but gave that dream up because she used to get frequent panic attacks. Wow. I guess you can just flip a coin between her and the dead doctor who was drunk all the time. Denise ended up going into psychiatry instead so I guess she was the next best thing to a physician? Regardless, I like her. She's got neat sense of humor. 

Unfortunately Denise is called into action pretty quickly as the first stabbing victim is brought in. The prognosis isn't good - this chick is bleeding internally and the only chance she has is for Denise to operate. Denise is on the verge of a panic attack but Eugene gives her a pep talk about why it's not good to be a coward. She jumps in now and does everything she can to save the girl on the table. Denise is unsuccessful, but she does prove to herself that the community needs her and she's ready to fill that role. At least we get one warm and fuzzy moment tonight. Just one. 

Carl realizes Enid is gone (good riddance) and instead of saying goodbye, she has simply left a note that says "just survive somehow." Carol's casserole timer goes off and I realize this has all happened almost in real time. Carl turns the alarm off and gets the casserole out of the oven. At least dinner tonight will be tasty. 

With the Wolves gone for now, Aaron and others are walking through the streets trying to find more survivors. Aaron sees something strange... one of the Wolves has Aaron's backpack with all of the pictures of Alexandra. No wonder they knew how to invade. He looks around and starts to cry. Carol and Morgan find themselves (literally) at a crossroads and they walk past each other in silence. 

The episode ends there and my heart finally goes back to beating normally. I loved having a Carol heavy episode, as I missed the badass side of her, but this attack was shocking. The people of Alexandria were finally understanding the threat of the Walkers nearby. Walkers don't have machetes, they don't sprint, and they don't drive trucks through well structured walls. These people didn't stand a chance against the Wolves. Even with people like Carol, Smokin Hot Rosita, and Aaron around, this attack was bound to be catastrophic to the community. I'm not sure how Morgan made it back so quickly, but he's clearly finding that while he has friends in Alexandria, they are not like-minded friends. I'll be interested to see what happens when the group reconvenes in the coming episodes. In the meantime, what did Gabriel's attacker mean by "people don't belong here anymore?" What is the significance of JSS? And how will our heroes retaliate? I hope it starts with a good "Damn it Carl!" from Rick. 

AHS Hotel Episode 2: Chutes and Ladders

My brain is still trying to absorb all of the bloodshed and butchery from the season premiere, but this evening we were treated to another lengthy American Horror Story: Hotel episode that rivals the first. We had so many characters introduced last week, some of whom met gruesome ends...or did they? What is the deal with the inhabitants of the Hotel Cortez? Are they alive? Dead? Zombies? Vampires? Some combination? We did get several answers in "Chutes and Ladders" tonight in addition to the origin story of the hotel. Here's what happened:  

Sit Right Down Where You Belong

Alex makes a house call to Max, a little boy who has been very sick. He is bedridden and as Alex examines him, his mom expresses concern that he might have strep. She learned that on the internet. Nope. Max has the measles. The boy's mom breathes a sigh of relief when she hears the diagnosis because she was worried "it was something serious." Dumb ass. Alex had encouraged this family to do all of the vaccinations a long time ago but Max's parents were concerned that vaccines could cause autism (more internet?). Vaccines could also cause your kid to not get the effing measles. Alex goes on with a long speech about how people should protect their children when they can and this is obviously very personal for her. Though she doesn't blame John for not protecting Holden...not one bit.

Speaking of John, the displaced detective wakes up from a snooze (which apparently everyone does frequently) in room 64. He heads to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face and notices something rather suspicious in the shower behind him. Meh. Just a couple of dead people getting it on. He wakes again (another dream) and sees Holden. He chases the boy through the halls and down the stairs but instead he encounters a bar with a crazy-eyed Sally on a stool and Liz Taylor pouring drinks. She says to John "Oh I know that look. Hanging on to your sobriety like it's the last train out of Dodge. The hour between 2 and 3am is always the worst." Sally mentions that she wrote a song with Patti Smith once before Patti dropped her because of her drug use. She became lost after this and says John looks like someone who wants to get lost. She inches closer to John and asks him to tell her about the last time he was drunk. Sally wants to know every detail. To my surprise, he begins to describe that day almost immediately.... 

He had spent the day working a crime scene where a an entire family had died. The power had been out and the dad was using a generator in the meantime. While he was at work there was a carbon monoxide leak, and he came home to find his entire family had died. He shot himself. John spent a lot of time at a bar that night and didn't go home for 2 days. When he did, he decided to take his family to the beach and the carnival on the pier. This is where Holden was taken. In saying that, John looks at Sally and says "I can't afford to get lost" and he leaves the bar without drinking. 

When John returns to work the next day he has received a package from the Hotel Cortez. The building is evacuated and a bomb squad is called in. It's not a bomb at all. Instead it's an Academy Award covered in dry blood. 

I Can't See Straight Anymore

We find Sally straddling the diva dude who (seemingly) got him self rape-murdered by the rubbery skinned guy last week. She has sewn most of him into a mattress and she tells the barely seen part of his face that he cannot cheat death. She kisses him and then pushes his face back into the mattress. Sally is emotional now but also distracted by screams coming from the floors below. Turns out Iris is giving the remaining Swedish girl that...protein shake...to cleanse her body. The creepy blond children are gnawing on her arms and maintain that she still tastes gross. "That's because she's dead," Iris replies. Liz Taylor dumps the girl's body down a chute where other bodies lay in a heap. The smell must be terrific. 

The creepy blond kids are back in their room of video games and candy all zoned out while hooked to IVs. They are donating blood. That's nice of them. After all, Mother Monster needs nourishment and Donovan needs motivation to put some clothes on. The Countess Elizabeth wants to go to a fashion show to "hunt" but Donovan would rather stay home and binge watch House of Cards. See? Told you they were normal.  

Will Drake conducts his fashion show right in the lobby of the hotel. Elizabeth and Donovan sit front and center as Finn Wittrock's character, Tristan, works the runway. The Countess liiiiikes him. The hunt is barely a hunt at all! Tristan is also a coke head and he breaks in to the penthouse looking for drugs. Donovan finds him and nearly kills him but Elizabeth intervenes. Tristan tries to flee and finds himself in room 64. Weird. Also in this room? James March, the original hotel owner. Evan Peters is donning a pencil thin mustache, an ascot, and an accent straight out of The Great Gatsby this season and this character is a far cry from anything we've seen him do in the past.

Before he has a chance to truly introduce himself, Miss Evers the cleaning lady (Mare Winningham) interrupts. She's brought in a woman who was soliciting gentlemen at the bar downstairs. James puts a gun in Tristan's hand. "Pull the trigger and take her last breath. It's exhilarating." Tristan is all "get off me man" and James does the deed himself. Miss Evers is quick to change the linens...she must do this often.

Tristan is off and running again and this time he encounters Elizabeth, who turns him into a vampire. Elizabeth tells him "the beauty of the virus is - you never age." He asks her about fangs and she tells him that they, as vampires, don't bite. They cut. The two have quite a romp in the bathtub and The Countess explains the tips and tricks for Tristan's new situation. Never drink from the dead, avoid the feeble and diseased and polluted. "The sun won't kill you but it should be avoided. It will stop your vitality."

Turns out Elizabeth was born in 1904 (bitch gets around) but she tells Tristan that she loved the late 1970s the most. She was quite the disco queen but there's no indication of whether she rode anyone's disco stick. We're starting to learn a little bit more about her when Donovan rolls up. He. Is. Pissed. She tells him to pack his things and get gone. She and Tristan then begin their own hunt...which involves him picking up guys online and luring them to the penthouse. Ha! Look out Grindr.

You've Left Me Speechless

John's daughter Scarlet inexplicably comes to visit him at the hotel. I thought the whole point of John living in the hotel was to stay away from his family so they can be safe. Oh, and please invite her during the fashion show to a building filled with strangers. Makes total sense. Scarlet sits next to Lachlan and the two become fast friends. He even takes her down to the empty pool area where four tiny coffins reside. Again, where is her dad? Scarlet recognizes Holden right away. When she is able to visit the creepy kid room later (again unsupervised), her brother chats her up like she's stood him up for a play date. Holden tells Scarlet she can come visit whenever she wants but he's not going to go home. She leans in to take a selfie so she'll have proof that Holden is alive...but he's a blur when she gets home and tries to show the photo to her parents. Her PARENTS by the way are at the house with tons of police trying to figure out who could have taken her. Palm to the forehead. Anywho, John yells at Scarlet and tells her Holden is dead and never coming back. Scarlet calls him a liar and runs to her room. Alex essentially tells John he sucks and she goes to bed. 

John goes back to the Hotel Cortez and takes his anger out on Iris since, you know, it's her fault Scarlet roamed through the hotel unsupervised. What??? He arrests her as an accessory to...something...and then realizes that's effing stupid. They sit down to chat and Iris gives him the background of the evil establishment.

James March was a self made rich man who built the hotel in 1925 and designed it to suit his needs. He needed secret hallways, chutes and other areas to murder people and such. "No body, no crime" he'd say. He had torture chambers, a plethora of weapons, and a maid to provide him with fresh linens and a clean shirt when needed. She could apparently get a stain out of anything. James was sloppy though and someone turned him in. Iris claims no one knows who, but she's betting his wife since she'd inherit everything if he were caught or killed. In classic "you'll never take me alive!" fashion, James kills himself before he can be arrested...and he takes Miss Evers with him at her request. I guess one still needs clean clothes in the afterlife. One last detail? James' office was room 64. 

After some research into the hotel and it's owner (not sure why he didn't do that when he got the initial phone call from the supposed killer in room 64), John believes that the current serial killer he is chasing is picking up where James March left off. He sees a pattern...and that pattern is The 10 Commandments. 

So, AHS dropped a lot on us in this hour and 42 minutes(!). We know the hotel was built with the purpose to commit murders, we know James March and his trusty laundress still roam the halls, and we know he's still eager to kill. He was married though and it seemed like his wife may have been Elizabeth. She would have been 21 when the hotel was built so that would be about right. She speaks of love and heartbreak throughout the episode, so maybe she was the one who tipped off the police. Maybe she turned  into a sexy vampire around that time as well. We also know that Holden and the other creepy blonds are Mother Monster's "children." I'm eager to see how they were chosen. I'm still curious about the other inhabitants who died at the Hotel Cortez though. Are they all roaming the halls somewhere? James' victims? The Countess' prey? Is this another Murder House in addition to a vampire dwelling? Time will tell. 

The Walking Dead, Season 6 Ep. 1: First Time Again

It's been quite a summer waiting to find out what's in store for our beloved TWD characters in Alexandria. When we last left them, Deanna was holding Reg in a pool of blood, his throat having been slashed by a drunken Pete wielding Michonne's sword. Rick had shot Pete in the head  with Deanna's blessing while the community (and his wife) looked on. Daryl and Aaron returned with Morgan just in time to see this execution. Nicholas and Glenn wanted to kill one another...but then didn't. Gabriel sucked, Sasha was annoying, Carol was superb, and Maggie was the glue trying to hold everything together. Oh, and the wolves were coming. So what happened next? First and foremost, the Season 6 premiere was brilliantly shot. The "now" portions were in color while the "leading up to" portions were in black and white, and these situations flipped back and forth throughout the 90 minutes. Here's how it played out. 

Run And Hide Your Crazy

The first words of the episodes are Rick's: "I know this sounds insane, but this is an insane world." He's in the "now" and standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down and countless Walkers who are trapped but will eventually break free and threaten the community. He lays out a plan to distract the Walkers and lead them away from Alexandria. But there are just. So. Many of them. This speech is the start of a dry run of the plan....only the Walkers are already busting through one of the barriers holding them up. We're going live, kids. 

Daryl is 100% badass on his "recruiting" motorcycle as he tries to lead the herd of Walkers away. Sasha and Abraham are in a car nearby in an effort to assist. Glenn and Rick are running around shooting flares along the road to keep the Walkers' attention as well. The group has made an elaborate wall of cars and metal panels to guide the Walkers where they need to go. Neat. Some new-ish faces are lending a hand as well and though they weren't able to do a dress rehearsal, it seems like this community is really working together after the bloodshed they witnessed. At least...this is my initial impression.  

She Ain't Gonna Have It

We go back to the night Reg and Pete died. Deanna looks up as Gabriel approaches and says "you were wrong." We cut to Jessie who is sitting on her couch holding Sam. Her older son, Ron, walks out of the house and slams the door. Tara is on the mend and leans back in her hospital bed as Glenn and Nicholas stumble in to receive some medical attention. Eugene walks in and Tara speaks the first gem of the night. "Thank God...nothing happened to your hair." She then mentions Noah, not realizing he was recently Walker food. Luckily we miss that big reveal. 

Morgan sits with Daryl and Rick in their kitchen and attempts to catch up with his long lost friend. Rick cuts the conversation short (he's had quite the day) and tells Morgan he'll be staying in an isolated area, much like the one Rick was in after he was crazypants and waving his gun at everyone. Another precaution Rick wants to take is shutting down the recruiting project. Daryl looks bummed...he had just found his niche. 

Meanwhile Eugene finds himself guarding the gate as some people approach in a vehicle. The leader introduces himself as Heath, an Alexandria resident returning from a run, and he is none too pleased with Eugene's line of questioning. Eugene ends up letting them in and when Heath asks if they've missed anything while they've been gone, our adorable mullet lover says "You might want to talk to Deanna. Get it from the horse. Her mouth, you know?" 

When Rick visits Morgan in his (temporary?) new home the following day, he's kind of a dick. Morgan handles it well, saying they need to get to know each other first the first time again. They go on  a walk and Rick explains the story behind the Alexandria community. He begins to tell Morgan about Reg and Pete but he's distracted by the group digging graves nearby. They are digging two holes and Rick puts a stop to it. "We're not gonna bury killers inside these walls." Dude, REALLY? Pete was a jackass but he did not kill Reg on purpose. Rick fits the "killer" category far more than Pete did. Oh and there's that little matter of Pete having kids who still live there and may want to pay their respects. Deanna approaches and I hope she's going to start talking sense...but she agrees with Rick and says Pete's body can be taken far out to the woods. "Let the trees have him."

Revenge Is A Choice You Gotta Make

Morgan and Rick toss Pete in the back of a truck and take him to his final resting place. Morgan calls Rick out on his bullshit about "killers." Good for Morgan. Ron follows them on foot (totally lucky that he doesn't get himself eaten in the process) and just as the Walkers are about to snatch him, Rick tackles Ron and the Walkers go over a cliff into a quarry...and now we know how they found this epic hoard of zombies. Rick begins to scold the boy for being so reckless, but Ron maintains he has the right to know where his father is buried. Pretty sure he's also thinking "am I strong enough to throw Rick off this cliff?" Jessie does mention to Rick later that he has to stay away from Ron - there's no chance Ron is going to listen to anything Rick says even if it's the truth. 

Rick calls a town meeting to discuss their discovery. Heath knew about the quarry but the Walker population there was minimal when he encountered it quite some time ago. Rick states that they need to take action now because it's only a matter of time before the Walkers break through the barriers and head for their community. Carol, still playing the role of a shy baker who wears cardigans, uses her fake wholesome voice to say the whole thing is just terrifying but it doesn't sound like there's any other way to handle it. Subtle Carol. Very subtle. Carter jumps in though and he's not a fan of letting the Walkers out and driving them away. He'd rather reinforce the barriers. The thing is, the noise coming from that pit draws more and more Walkers each day. You've been denied, Carter. Deanna is backing Rick on this one. I think Deanna has given up on the whole leading thing for the moment. Glenn tells Maggie to keep an eye on Deanna and help her "come back."

So the initial plan is for Daryl to lead the Walkers away on his motorcycle and Sasha and Abraham will join him in a car nearby. Heath, Glenn, and Michonne volunteer to assist right away. So does Gabriel but Rick says "no" before Gabriel finishes talking. Heh. Carter starts pissing and moaning again and says people shouldn't be following Rick after what he did. Deanna shuts him down for a second time. Nicholas and Tobin are "in" as well and Carter demands to hear the plan in detail again. Good grief.

As they prepare for the big event, Rick also wants the people of Alexandria to learn how to defend themselves. A small group of Walkers makes their way in as the group is building the walls/rails and instead of taking them out, Rick wants the locals to do it. This doesn't go over well and Morgan saves the day. Carter has had enough. He tries to rally some folks in the pantry to kill Rick before anything else goes wrong. Eugene overhears this (because the effing pantry is probably the most public building in Alexandria) and Carter pulls a gun on him. You little shit. Rick busts in and refrains from killing Carter, though I think it took some amazing restraint and forgiveness. He also invites Morgan to move into his house and they have a heart to heart about who they are as people. This is the last soft moment of the night. 

Save A Little Face

Back to the "now," things are going as well as can be expected...for a little while. Glenn, Nicholas and Heath have to clear a small store nearby because there is a loud group of Walkers in there pounding on the doors and windows. Abraham has to jump out of the car every so often and kill some strays. Not too shabby, right? Morgan, Rick, Michonne and Carter look on from the side of the road and are thrilled with the success they are seeing so far. Carter even tries to shake Rick's hand. Drop dead Carter. Oh wait. That pretty much happens. As Carter walks further down in the woods, a Walker grabs him and chews on his cheek. Carter is screaming so loud the other Walkers are turning toward the noise. Rick kills the Walker and ultimately puts a knife in the back of Carter's head. Dude was a goner anyway. Good riddance. 

With Carter finally quiet the herd resumes the path that was laid out for them. We are back on track now and it seems as though this thing might actually work. But then again, why would anything work as planned in the season premiere? Just as the group begins to breathe a sigh of relief and smile a bit, an unbelievably loud horn goes off either in or right near the community. The sound is continuous and overpowering...and the Walkers vacate their path quickly and make a bee-line to Alexandria. Oh. Shit. 

The episode ends there. Who the hell is sounding off that horn? Do the Wolves have a spy in Alexandria? Did they break in? Is one of Carter's disgruntled friends trying to sabotage the whole operation? Is Deanna at the breaking point and ready to let her empire crumble? Regardless of who the culprit is, Alexandria is screwed. Great episode and an exciting way to kick off Season 6!

AHS Hotel Episode 1: Checking In

Two words. Lady. Gaga. I've always been a pretty big fan of Mother Monster, but after one episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, I was online looking to order Kermit sweaters and meat purses. Maybe I'm exaggerating...or maybe I was born this way... 

All of that aside, welcome back loyal American Horror Story fans! I have truly high hopes for this season after Freak Show's disappointing second half, and I'm curious to see how the returning actors fare with the new blood (so to speak). Absent this year is Jessica Lange, who probably could have racked up another Emmy with an additional season or two. Returning powerhouses like Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, and Sarah Paulson should be able to fill in some of that void though. In addition to the crazy good female stars, tonight's 90 minute premiere handed us drugs, murder, rape, sex, and sushi. Here's how it all went down. 

Somethin' About This Place

The Hotel Cortez in Los Angeles is not fancy...at least not from the outside. At first glance the inside looks like Disney's Tower of Terror. At second glance, this place could be The Overlook Hotel's twin. The building is a dead zone for cell service and there is no wifi. This is already horrifying. 

Two young Swedish ladies find themselves with a pre-paid reservation they have to stick with. Seems they didn't realize that the Hotel Cortez was so far away from Universal Studios and they are eager to get to the Jurassic Park ride. I don't blame them. It's a pretty awesome ride. Kathy Bates' hotel manager character, Iris, quickly shatters any possibility for these girls to get a refund in order to stay closer to the touristy things they want to do. She leads them to their room which has no refrigerator and a dead animal smell. Soon To Be Dead Girl #1 calls down to the front desk and demands another room. Iris pretty much tells her to screw off and hangs up on her. Soon To Be Dead Girl #2 begins to examine the bed to locate the source of the smell. Wouldn't you know it? Something has been sewn inside the mattress. Something that looks like one of Dr. Arden's experiments from Asylum. Annnnd let the opening credits begin! 

Iris assures the girls that they will not be charged for the room (I should hope not). She sends them to room 64 to wait for the police to arrive. "This one, we never rent out." Makes sense - soon after taking a nap, Dead Girl Walking #1 finds, well, Dead Girl No Longer Walking on the bathroom floor being eaten by creepy blond children. I think I'd rather stay in the room with the science experiment in the mattress. 

A tweaked out diva-dude checks into the hotel that same day and after he bitches about the nightly rate, Iris hands him the key to room 64. He has no luggage but did bring along a heroin kit. He shoots up almost immediately (natch) and begins to hallucinate...or does he? He either has a twisted imagination or he's getting raped by a rubbery man wearing a spiral bladed strap on.  Seems to be the latter. The cherry on top here is Sarah Paulson strolling in and whispering "Tell me you love me" while the guy screams in agony because again, he's getting his ass ripped to shreds by a human drill. "Say 'I love you Sally' and it will all go away." He says it...then dies. 

Brush The Dangerous

Wes Bentley returns to play John Lowe, a police detective in the midst of trying to catch a serial killer. Said killer calls John's cell phone in a very "let's play a game" voice to say that he is located at the Hotel Cortez in room 64 and he fully plans to kill again. 

Eat your heart out, Cleopatra.

John arrives at the hotel and asks to examine room 64. Iris enlists the help of Denis O'Hare, who this season is playing a character called Liz Taylor. Yup. His style says it all. Anywho, Liz takes the detective to the room in question.  John enters with his serious face primed and gun in hand...only to find the room empty. No half eaten Swedish girls. No butt ripped junkie. For whatever reason, John then lays down on the bed and starts to snooze. He opens his eyes and sees one of the creepy kids. He says "Holden?" and chases him to an empty hallway. 

John has a wife (Chloe Sevigny) and daughter waiting for him at home. The wife is a doctor, however, and peaces out right after he arrives. Daddy-daughter night consists of sushi where the little Scarlet tells John that she had another dream about "him" last night. Him, meaning Holden? She says she can't quite remember what he looked like when she's awake and asks her father if he remembers. He does and she suggests they put the pictures back up in the house again.

Their dinner is cut short when his wife, Alex, sends him an emergency text with an address. When John and Scarlet arrive at the address, another police car is there already. John shouts "watch my daughter!" to the officer and takes off into the house. The officer hears a noise in the bushes nearby though and leaves the kid alone in the car while he pursues it. Super. As John makes his way through the house with his serious face and gun raised, he received a call from Alex's cell...only the creepy voice from earlier is on the other end of the phone. "I told you I would do it again." John's daughter has now followed him into the house. She screams as she enters at a room where two dudes are suspended with their intestines hanging out like they had just been through a meat grinder.

**We flash back to a happier time in 2010 where the family of four (Holden included) is having a blast at a carnival. John takes Holden to the carousel and turns away briefly when his cell phone vibrates. When he looks back at the horse his son had been on, it's empty.***  

We are back in present day. Alex is fine and she and John are at home wondering who the serial killer is and how he got Alex's phone. John is going to move out for a while and leave his family in police protection until he finds the man behind the murders. Alex is way more agreeable to this than I had anticipated. Though she says "I don't blame you for Holden," she tells John that Holden looked so much like him that it's hard to face him sometimes. Ouch.  Where does a good detective go when he can't stay at home? Why the Hotel Cortez, of course, where he hallucinated earlier. Reservation for 1 please - room 64.

Bad Romance

A neon sign that reads "why are we not having sex right now?" hangs on a wall. Enter Lady Gaga...or The Countess...or Elizabeth. She and her longtime lover, Donovan (Matt Bomer) are a totally normal couple. I mean, they take strolls, they attend public outdoor movies, and they initiate foursomes right there in the lawn. Okay, so they're not mainstream. But during a screening of Nosferatu the duo pick up another couple and take them back to the Hotel Cortez. A foursome ensues (how does FX get away with this stuff?) and then, like any normal couple would, Elizabeth and Donovan slash open the throats of their partners and drink their blood. There's kinky...and then there's crazy. I can't imagine what the cleanup is like.

So it turns out the Swedish girls aren't quite dead. Yet. Iris has them in some sort of neon lit cages and she's hell bent on clearing their systems of all of the drugs and alcohol she found in their room. She makes some sort of shake in a blender consisting of things like chicken liver and oysters that apparently contain a lot of nutrients. I learn something new every day. Iris begins to put a hose with this shit in Dead Girl Walking #1's mouth and then in walks Sally without her murderous monster. These women have some history. Iris calls Sally "the beginning and the end of all my suffering." She hands the vitamin shake (we'll call it that) off to Sally and tells her to take over if she thinks she can do it better. "Otherwise you'll have to explain to her why they still taste like shit." Is Gaga still thirsty?

Sally explains that the room they are in used to house marionette shows. She wants the girls to entertain her. Sally opens one cage and tells the girl to run. She leaves her friend behind without a second thought and almost makes it out of the house. Too bad Elizabeth is there to slit her throat.

While Elizabeth is certainly the mistress (and Countess) of the Hotel Cortez, someone else has their eye on it. Cheyenne Jackson plays Will Drake, a rich dude from the fashion industry in New York who intends to buy the hotel and move to Los Angeles with his son, Lachlan. Apparently he has designed dresses for Michelle Obama. Not touching that one, The sale, however, is news to Iris and Liz Taylor and they look very uneasy as Will and his realtor begin their walk-through. The realtor, by the way is Marcy...who was the realtor in Season 1. Her last sale didn't work out too well for the Harmons, so I can only imagine how screwed Will is at this point. 

They begin in the penthouse where a very naked Donovan flips out. Elizabeth compliments the hell out of Will's fashion designs and encourages him to maintain the "character" of the hotel. While Donovan dresses and begrudgingly takes Will on a tour of the hotel's artwork, Elizabeth takes Lachlan to a secret room filled with candy and video games. The creepy blond kids are there...and among them is Holden.

Control Your Poison, Babe
Donovan bitterly struts around the lobby and Iris approaches him. We learn that she is his mother, so I have to wonder how awkward it is for her to know he's banging such a crazy bitch...or that he drinks people's blood...or that he kills people. Regardless, she has not left the hotel in 20 years because she "needs to see him every day." Weird.

***We flash back to 1994 where Donovan is involved with Sally, who is a heroin addict and dealer. Donovan follows her into room 64 at the Hotel Cortez to shoot up and Iris follows him. After nearly banging down the door, Iris pushes past Sally when she opens it. Donovan is out cold and things aren't looking good for him. Sally leaves, stumbling down the hallway with zero remorse about the dude she just shared a needle with. For whatever reason, she lingers near a tall open window. Will she jump? Nope. Doesn't have to. Iris pushes her out and she goes splat on the concrete below. When she returns to room 64, Elizabeth is there and she's alllll about Donovan. ***

Sooo, is this going to be like the Murder House where if you die there, you're stuck there? Sally is obviously a ghost and while Iris looked younger in the 20 year flashback, Donovan looks exactly the same. Did he OD? Is he dead too? Gaga? The creepy blond kids? We have a long season ahead of us but I love the snippets of stories we got tonight and I'm excited to see how it all plays out in the coming weeks. I'm SO happy this show is back!