AHS Cult Episode 3: Neighbors From Hell

When we last left the folks in American Horror Story: Cult, the area was experiencing a blackout (or was it?), Harrison was wonderfully fabulous as he created chaos outside, Winter was proving to be useless once again, and Ally was screaming/crying because she had just shot Pedro...but she got bonus points for finally actually trying to get Ozzie to safety. Tonight's episode includes some harsh aftermath for Ally and some fatal incidents for other characters. Who didn't make it out alive? Here's what went down in "Neighbors From Hell."

It's Bound To Take Your Life

The episode opens with married couple Mark and Rosie in a session with Dr. Vincent. Rosie is talking about this recurring dream she has where she is just about to get it on with her hubby, but then she's suddenly trapped in a coffin. I'm sure Ivy can relate. That chick has too many "almost, but not quite" occurrences. Anyway, Rosie finally had a version of the coffin dream that ended differently. Instead of being trapped, she and Mark made love on a bed of flowers. Good for them. Seems Rosie's dad locked her in a cabinet a lot as a child so she's had a some intense fears to overcome, but dad died recently and seeing his coffin close apparently cured her. Mark calls Rosie the strongest person he knows and Dr. Vincent congratulates her. 

The lovebirds head home to have some celebratory sex, but first Mark tells Rosie he has a surprise for her. He leaves her standing in the hallway, but she soon hears him start to struggle. Rosie cautiously opens the double doors on the other side of the living room and finds two open coffins (wtf?!?) and that same group of clowns attacking Mark. This is crazy! Dr. Vincent has to be in on this, right? He's got to be part of the clown posse...how else do these people know about Rosie and Ally's deepest fears?  Who are his other patients and how quickly can they get the hell out of town? Sigh. Both Mark and Rosie are sealed in their own coffins and as the camera pans out we see a bloody smiley face on the wall just like the one at the Changs' house. Cue the opening music. 

I See Trouble On The Way

So, Pedro is totally dead. We rejoin Ally at her house as she is being interviewed by that same creepy Detective Samuels that seems to be everywhere. He tells Ally not to worry - there was a blackout and she saw a dark figure coming into her house. "You have every right to defend yourself." Ivy agrees and is very supportive (so much for Pedro being like family) right up until Ally mentions the clowns. Then she looks pissed. Detective Samuels tries to diffuse the situation by saying Pedro was a person of interest in a murder at their restaurant and Pedro approaching the house in the dark can easily be seen as a threat. Ivy says nothing and I'm wondering why she isn't defending the poor guy. The power comes back on and the detective leaves. 

The next day when the ladies head over to the restaurant there are a ton of protestors outside with "Justice 4 Pedro" and "Immigrants Welcome" signs as well as posters of Ally's face with "Murderer" printed on them. The local news reporter, Beverly Hope (welcome back, Adina Porter), is live on the scene telling viewers that Pedro was a father of 3 who was gunned down by his employer. Whoa. She says that some people are even referring to Ally as "the lesbian George Zimmerman." Ally stays in the car and Ivy heads into the restaurant through the back door. Just as Ally is driving away, Kai appears next to her window and tells her she's incredibly brave for protecting her family. He offers to get rid of the protesters and Ally is confused, wondering why would he do that for her. Kai tells her to just keep on living her truth and "please, have a nice day." 

Ally comes home and goes straight for the wine. I don't blame her. There's an aggressive knock on the door and Harrison and Meadow are standing on the doorstep wearing sombreros. I have to pause the TiVo for a moment because I'm laughing so hard. Harrison goes right for the jugular. "How does it feel to exercise your white privilege and execute people of color with impunity?" He tells Ally she makes him sick and demands his gun back. The police have it of course and Ally asks what the hell is up with the hats. Harrison says he is 10% Mexican and throws some Taco Bell coupons at her. Meadow jumps in now. "You don't belong here. We want racists OUT of our neighborhood!" Ally slams the door in their faces and I have to watch this whole thing again. I shouldn't enjoy this exchange as much as I do, but Billy Eichner is just hilarious. 

Don't Go 'Round Tonight

That evening Ally reiterates to Ivy that she is not a fan of their neighbors, but the news is on the tv in the background and the conversation is halted. Aside from protest coverage, Beverly is now reporting on a young couple whose bodies were discovered in coffins in their home...after no one had heard from them in over a week. That red smiley face from Mark and Rosie's house is shown on camera, and Beverly is grilling Detective Samuels about rumors of the same symbol appearing in the Changs' house. He has no comment. Outside a truck is seen moving slowly down the street, glowing in some sort of green substance that could have came straight out of  The Tommyknockers. Never seen it? Shame on you. It's so bad it's almost good. Back to the ladies... 

The next morning Ivy finds Ally outside staring at a shit ton of dead birds in the front lawn. What the hell was coming out of that truck? Winter arrives as Ally is starting to theorize about chemical warfare and mind control and I'm honestly happy to see her. Ally, on the other hand, is not given the whole abandonment during the blackout thing. Ivy had called her over and says that was a terrible night but it wasn't Winter's fault. All is forgiven and Winter is relieved to keep her job. "When I saw that guy outside I figured you were interviewing my replacement." Uh...guy? "He said he was here because of an ad. I let him in. I hope that's okay." Winter, you're the worst! Oh my god. Ally and Ivy head to the living room to see a naked man jerking off and ready for action. He's there to "feed" horny lesbians and he swears he has the right address from the ad. Ohhh shit. Someone posted an ad online asking for a stud to satisfy two horny lesbians - Caucasians only and "Latin lovers need not apply." Ivy chases the dude outside and Ally is in another panic. 

En route to the restaurant Ally calls Dr. Vincent to tell him about the ad. She says the Wiltons had to have posted it and he acknowledges the trauma Ally is going through but isn't convinced this was done by the neighbors. Dr. Vincent says she needs evidence so she can file a police report for harassment. He also suggests Ally consider an inpatient facility for a while. Nonsense. Ally is totally dealing with everything just fine. In fact, she's on her way to the restaurant to speak with the protesters and "clear up" what happened with Pedro. This is a terrible idea. Not as bad as letting Winter keep her job...but pretty darn close. The protesters, of course, don't even let her out of the car and Kai steps in and tells everyone to leave. He leans in to Ally's car window once again and tells her to have a nice day. 

There's A Bad Moon On The Rise

Ally and Ivy arrive home from work that night to find Winter and Ozzie playing with a guinea pig named Mr. Guinea. Winter said Meadow dropped the little guy off as a peace offering. Ally flips out and tells her son to say his goodbyes to the animal. Ozzie holds Mr. Guinea close and says, "I wish I could say my goodbyes to you." Ouch. Ally is pissed and calls the Wiltons, who are busy watching tv with Detective Samuels. Whaaaaaat? Some awful words are exchanged but Harrison does tell Ally that even though he doesn't like her, he likes her kid. Meadow hops on the phone then, calls Ally an awful racist, then hangs up. Ally looks out the window and sees the glowy truck going down the street again. She runs outside and makes a complete ass of herself in the middle of the road before falling over to get out of the way. This truck wasn't stopping for anyone. 

Somehow in all of this Meadow and Harrison each find time to separately play the pinky game with Kai. Meadow reveals that she's afraid that she will never be penetrated by a man again and will die unloved. She thinks Harrison is turning against her, especially now that he is "friends" with the detective. Kai tells her to stop her habit of apologizing all the time. He informs her that from now on, everything is somebody else's fault. Heh. If only that sort of thing worked. Harrison, on the other hand, reveals that he completely regrets marrying Meadow. Kai asks him if he wishes Meadow was dead and Harrison reluctantly says he does. 

I Know The End Is Coming Soon

Ally, Ivy and Ozzie dine at their restaurant after hours and have a nice family meal together...not to mention dessert. There's a whole lot of dessert. Ally tells her son he can keep Mr. Guinea and the kid is over the moon. This is the first time in these 3 episodes where all members of this family are smiling at the same time, so of course the happiness is short lived. They arrive home to find a red smiley face on the front door and Mr. Guinea in the final stages of death by microwave. It's disgusting but I have little time to react because Ally has already raced across the street, busted into the Wiltons' house, run out the back door, and punched Harrison in the face. She's gone a little crazy and screams at the Wiltons, accusing them of killing Ozzie's new pet and painting a creepy smiley face on the door. Harrison tells her she's been marked by the killer and Ozzie and Ivy witness all of this. The Wiltons appear shaken and try to assure Ally that they are not at fault here, but it's no use. "You people are terrorizing my family and it stops now. If you come in my house and bother me or my family again, I will kill you both." As Ally Ivy, and Ozzie leave via the side of the house, they notice the same smiley face painted. Is this new? Perhaps left over from the Changs' slaughter? They decide not to tell Harrison and Meadow it's there. 

The green glowy truck passes by again and a masked person stops to spray something in the lawns. Ally attacks this person and rips off the mask...she then sees a smiley face mask and passes out. Detective Samuels is called to the house again and he directs most of his remarks at Ivy because he thinks Ally is a psycho. While they discuss the current state of Mr. Guinea, the detective receives a message on his phone. He had apparently sent a picture of the smiley face on the front door to the forensics team and they say it's authentic. You can tell that sort of thing from a phone photo? There's no chance it could be a really stellar copycat version of the one that was on tv? Is ANYONE going to question this? Detective Samuels says he is going to set up some surveillance around the house, but Ally and Ivy run upstairs mid discussion when they hear Ozzie yell. He's been watching disturbing videos on the laptop again and there's one that has shaken him....it's a video of Winter "bathing" Ally. Holy shit! Ivy steps out into the hallway and when Ally follows her, she clocks Ally pretty good across the face. She also takes Ozzie and leaves Ally in the house to fend for herself. 

As they are walking out the front door, police car lights are flashing across the street. Harrison is standing in the driveway in his underwear, covered in blood and screaming that he doesn't know how he got that way. Ally tells Ozzie to stay put on their front steps and she and Ivy walk toward the Wiltons' house. Harrison points at Ally and screams that she's the killer. He asks her where Meadow is and runs at her, still screaming. The cops tackle him and put him in handcuffs. Ally turns around and Ozzie is no longer on the front steps. In the commotion he made his way into the Wiltons' house. There is blood everywhere...blood smears on the wall...bloody hand prints from someone who appeared to be trying to escape...and then a fresh new bloody smiley face on the wall.  

Love. Them. 

The episode ends there and I sure will miss Meadow and her Nicole Kidman Fan Club accolades. There probably won't be much time for grieving though, as I'm sure Ally will end up as a suspect since she appears to be the craziest bitch around and verbally threatened to kill the Wiltons. Is Harrison innocent in all of this or did his pinky game with Kai motivate him to get rid of his wife? Did Detective Samuels help him do it? Is that guy even a legit cop? Is Winter the culprit in the nuking of Mr. Guinea? She obviously planned that bath video well, but why do that to poor Ozzie? Oh and Dr. Vincent? He's a sick bastard. I'd love to know how far up the create chaos leadership chain he is. Have he and Ivy been working together? Did Ivy and Winter plan the bath video? And is Winter "all in" on this chaos even though she was a proud Hillary supporter? Here's hoping the AHS writers throw us a bone next week and give us some info on the clown posse and who the murderers are behind the masks. In the meantime, I'll continue to look at the pictures of Harrison and Meadow in the sombreros. 

AHS Cult Episode 2: Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

The second episode of AHS Cult finds Ally struggling even more with her sanity and follows Kai as he hopes to rise to a position of power. With the addition of new neighbors it seems we have quickly moved on from the Changs, and Kai is all too eager to capitalize on Tom Chang's untimely (or maybe very timely) death. Does Ally have a chance at getting her shit together? Does Kai suffer any additional consequences from his ass-whooping last week? Here's what went down in "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark."

Put Me In My Place

The episode opens where we left off last week as Ally screams when she comes face to face with a clown in her bedroom. Still screaming, she runs downstairs to the kitchen where Ivy grabs a knife and considers stabbing this crazy bitch and runs upstairs because Ally cries "Ozzie is upstairs!" Why Ally wouldn't have grabbed Ozzie on her way downstairs is beyond me. Anyway, Ivy and Ally first go up to their bedroom (you're really not checking on the kid?) and no one is there. Not in the closet (heh) and not even under the bed that seems too low to the ground for anyone that is not a cartoon to fit under. At that point the ladies still don't think to check any other room. Instead, they hug as Ally says "I don't think I know what's real anymore." Ivy sees an opportunity to get it on. After all...it's been a while.

Meanwhile Ozzie, who has the worst nanny ever and moms who check exactly two places in just one room of the house for a potential killer clown, awakens from his slumber to see the same damn clown that Ally screamed about as well as Twisty. He's smart enough to run into a bathroom and lock the door, since no one else is protecting him, but the clowns bust through the door and find his hiding spot in the bathtub. He screams, Ivy has to remove her hand from Ally's boob, and they find Ozzie in his bed "having a night terror." Cue the opening music. 

You Don't Fight Fair

Kai's ass-beating video has made the local news thanks to Meadow and Harrison (Billy Eichner!) Wilton, who filmed the indecent but just from the part where the fists started to fly. Now WBNR's Channel 7 reporter, Beverly Hope, tells us that the attackers may either stand trial or just be deported immediately. Yup, these migrant workers are not U.S. citizens. Kai is eating this up and gives a press conference outside of City Hall...announcing that he is running for Tom Chang's open City Council seat. Such convenient timing, no? 

Ally watches this report on TV and peeks outside her window to see a moving van at the Chang's house. My that was quick. Several suspicious looking barrells are unloaded in the garage and Ally dashes across the street to investigate. She hustles up the front steps, looks through a window, and is then startled when a man in suit that could have popped out of E.T. approaches in the driveway. Ally dashes back across the street because nothing is ever easy with this chick. Turns out the folks moving in just happen to be Meadow and Harrison Wilton. 

Let's Get Down To It

Ozzie comes home from school with Winter (with WINTER) and he's super pissed at her for making his moms believe he didn't see the Changs get murdered by clowns. Winter suggests that she and Ozzie do the pinky truth game and she asks him a series of questions about how he feels about the Changs' house and the new neighbors. "You're going to give me your fear, Oz. I'm going to keep it for you. It's gonna make us both stronger." Well duh. Ozzie's scared shitless of that house and anyone who moves in it. 

Ally and Ivy arrive home and call out for Ozzie. No response. Winter pops up and says Ozzie is across the street with the "super cool" new neighbors - she just came home to grab a jacket for him. What is WRONG with you? Ally and and Ivy run across the street and through the new neighbors' gate in a panic. Ozzie is hanging out with Harrison and Meadow....and Harrison's bees. Harrison is a beekeeper which at least explains the weird suit but not so much the barrels. Honey? Ally looks at the honeycomb and sees blood, but thankfully she does not scream and cry. The Wiltons are excited there are lesbians in the neighborhood because they think their property value will go up (ha!) and Harrison asks Ally why she was snooping around earlier and didn't introduce herself. Ally says she's still a little shaken by the Changs' demise (since it's been, like, a week since that shit went down) and Harrison explains that the Changs were just the renters of the house. He says they called the actual owner as soon as they heard about the "murder-suicide" and the owner was more than happy to sign the lease over immediately. This worked out well for the Wiltons since their credit scores are bad and stuff. 

The Wiltons invite their neighbors inside for some Crystal Light and Meadow reveals that she had skin cancer and can only be outside for 10 minutes at a time. She works from home now and spends her free time being and obsessed Nicole Kidman fan. I don't blame her - I'll actually be listening to the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack when this episode is over. Harrison says Nicole Kidman's performance in Big Little Lies transcendent and Meadow tells him his "gay is showing." So Harrison is gay...and married Meadow because they had a pact ala My Best Friend's Wedding where they would get hitched at 35 if they were still single. Meadow doesn't like to be touched anyway, and Harrison is allowed to see who ever he wants as long as he is discreet. These folks might be oversharing just a tad and Ally and Ivy make an exit before they share anything about themselves. 

Put Up Your Dukes

Ivy is still trying to manage the restaurant mostly solo and she needs to head out early tonight with Ally. She plans to leave chef Roger in charge and he is quick to walk around like a douche and bark orders at the other employees, namely Pedro. Roger goes so far as to say English will be the only language spoken in the kitchen and Pedro takes offense, saying something in Spanish that I don't quite catch, but I'm sure it wasn't complimentary. Roger threatens to shove a ladle up Pedro's ass, and then Pedro pulls a knife. Ally comes into the room and yells at both of them. Roger demands that Pedro be fired but Ally whispers "I am not going to fire an immigrant in this climate." Oy. 

Much later that night Ally and Ivy are sitting in bed discussing their new neighbors (Ally remains incredibly suspicious) when Ozzie knocks on the door. He says he can't sleep and is afraid of his bedroom. I feel like that's a total understatement, but I like this kid and I feel incredibly sorry for him. Ozzie jumps into bed with his moms and Ivy can go ahead and add this evening to the list of nights she will not be getting laid. Just as well because she gets a notification on her phone that something has tripped the security system at the restaurant. Uh oh. Ally offers to go check it out when she senses Ozzie would rather be anywhere than in her care solo, and Ivy is totally okay with this. Yes Ivy. Send your wife who sees blood and clowns everywhere to see if someone broke into the restaurant. God help me. 

When Ally pulls up, the alarm is still going off. It's loud and lights are flashing but I'm not going to waste any time wondering why the police might not have been tipped off here. She disarms the system but hears sounds coming from the freezer. I'm half hoping she'll walk in there and see clowns having sex over a large rack of meat, but instead Ally finds Roger's body hanging on a meat hook. Bummer. This would be bad enough on its own, but Roger is actually still alive until Ally attempts to get him down and the hook sinks deeper and kills him. 

When the police arrive, a very, very shaken Ally tells the detective (same guy from the grocery store) about the incident with Pedro. Ivy says she's known Pedro for years and there's no way he could kill anyone. I don't know Pedro at all and he's not anywhere near the top of my suspects list. 

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

The next time we see Ally she's at home and having bars installed on all of the windows and doors. Ivy comes home with Dr. Vincent who "happened to be in the neighborhood." Ally has been missing her appointments and he's been worried, but Ally says the recent murders have made her feel vindicated. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep my family safe." Dr. Vincent tells Ivy that Ally is experiencing the early signs of agoraphobia (is that all?) and someone needs to keep an eye on her. Ivy says she just hired a full time nanny and that should help. Facepalm. 

Ally ends up at the Wiltons' house and Harrison shows her his gun collection. Meadow explains that Harrison started collecting guns when Obama got elected and to my surprise, Ally doesn't turn immediately and leave. He tells Ally she can have any gun in the case aside from the most important one - the pistol that Nicole Kidman used in Cold Mountain. Fabulous. Am I the only person thinking that having a gun might be the worst possible thing for Ally right now? 

Kai is all dressed up and making his way through Ally's neighborhood in his efforts to campaign for City Council. I didn't realize he was the door-to-door type, but the bow tie is a nice touch. Ally calls him out immediately for throwing his drink on them in the street and Kai admits it was a mistake he'd like to be forgiven for. He also says he feels humiliated from the beating he took and he wants to be remembered as someone who made a real difference in their town. Kai asks to come in and talk with Ally about his ideas and she shuts him down, especially after he spews a bunch of "facts" from Facebook about illegal immigrants. She hops up on a soapbox and talks about building bridges and reaching out to people, but Kai is quick to point out that she is standing behind a door with bars...and he knows she is holding a knife behind her back. "It's so easy until it's you they are coming for." Ally yells for Kai to get off her property and he eventually complies, but the damage has been done. I think she's more afraid now than she was before the bars went up. 

Fire Away

Ivy is at the restaurant talking to Pedro who has not taken a leave of absence or been put on administrative leave for being a murder suspect. He's super stressed out over the police coming to his house and questioning him. "I was born in San Diego!" Ivy tells Pedro that he is a good man and that the people who work at the restaurant are like family to her. Funny that she seems more upset about having to replace all of the tainted food in the freezer than she does about Roger being impaled there. In the midst of this discussion, the power goes out.

Meanwhile Winter (!) is putting Ozzie to bed since Ally is really busy checking all of the alarms. Ozzie wants to do the pinky thing again because he's worried about the clowns coming back to get him. He says he's not sure if he's awake or asleep when he sees them. Winter's advice? "If you're not sure, just ask." Winter then goes downstairs to find Ally staring at the medication Dr. Vincent had prescribed. Ally still hasn't taken any pills and doesn't want to, so Winter offers to make Ally a bubble bath and get her some wine to relax....as all nannies do. Ally does take a bath with a glass of wine and she does actually seem to be unwinding a little. She dozes off temporarily but Winter is suddenly there to, uh, help with the bathing. She sponges Ally's back, then Ally's shoulders, then Ally's....other areas. Ally stops her and Winter says, "Don't stress - I won't tell your wife you didn't take your meds. This is between us." The alarm goes off just then...and the power goes out.

A clown walks through Ozzie's room and he asks it if it's real or if he's asleep. The clown tells him he's asleep and the kid rolls over and doesn't give it a second thought. Ally is collecting all of the candles she can and asks Winter to light two in each room. There's a knock at the door and Harrison is yelling "Lesbians! We're under attack!" Ally partially opens the door and Harrison tells her it's terrorism - he heard that 8 states blacked out all at the same time. Winter is scared and Harrison tells the ladies to stay inside because he's sure rioters will be coming. Ally begs him not to leave but he heads back across the street to be with Meadow. At this point Winter also wants to go home. She feels she needs to protect her belongings and peaces out. Ally calls Ivy and starts the breathy/screaming/crying thing. "What if it's the Russians? Or ISIS? We're by ourselves and my battery is going to die! When are you coming home?" The phone dies while Ivy is explaining that she's really busy trying to get the backup generator working at the restaurant. Ivy asks Pedro to take a portable charger, some water, and a few other things over to the house to help Ally and I just don't see why she thinks this would be a good idea. Can't Pedro mess with the generator? He's worked at the restaurant a long time, right?

Ally's cell phone is dead and we are in full on freak out Sarah Paulson mode. Ally sees an ice cream truck parked outside and starts checking all of the windows and doors...which I feel should have been done around the same time she was checking the alarms earlier, but what do I know? In the process of going through the entire house with a candle (having not checked on Ozzie), Ally realizes the cables in their power box have been cut. She also realizes there's a clown standing next to her and he blows out her candle. Screams and screams ensue. She runs past another clown and grabs the gun in her bedroom. Then FINALLY she grabs Ozzie and heads for the door. Poor Pedro has arrived just outside the door then and Ally shoots him...not entirely sure where, but Pedro drops like a ton of bricks. Pretty sure he's dead. 

The episode ends there and Ally may have just lost all of those vindication feelings she had a little while ago. Sure, we the viewers know that somebody is screwing with Ally's mind and terrorizing Ozzie, but what's going to happen when the police arrive at the house and Ally tells them she was running from the clowns from the grocery store that cut her power and blew out her candle? Will she be committed? Is Ivy hoping she'll be committed? Is that why she brought Dr. Vincent (also shady) to the house? I feel like she might be in on some of this stuff - why else would the "responsible" person in the relationship leave her wife and son in Winter's very incapable hands? Did she know about the Pedro/Roger thing before Ally told the police about it? Did she even care that Roger was murdered? 

Moving on to the Wiltons... they are linked to Kai and Kai is trying to get rid of immigrants. Granted, Pedro was born in the U.S. but I doubt Kai cares about that. Kai popped up at Ally's door at a very opportune time to make her feel unsafe. Harrison popped up at Ally's door at an even more opportune time to make her lose her mind. And Winter? Well, she's just the worst (love you, Billie). Though she might be on the opposite side of the political spectrum, Winter's mind game tactics are very similar to her brother's. Why has Ally been targeted? Who are the people in the non-Twisty clown costumes? And at what point in time is child protective services coming to take Ozzie away? Seriously. There aren't enough pinky games in the world to keep the kid out of therapy at this point.   

AHS Cult: Episode 1: Election Night

Greetings and welcome back! I have been a bit behind in season 7 of American Horror Story due to travel, but I expect to be all caught up soon. Honestly, I wasn't excited for the season when I heard about the theme. Not sure how many viewers wanted to re-live election night (regardless of who they voted for) but I really wasn't interested in a season that may involve politics. Give me aliens, witches, vampires, zombies and all immortal forms of Lady Gaga...but don't give me politics. That being said, I got through Episode 1 of Cult and I don't think it's heading in a direction that will make me long for the days of Stevie Nicks singing in Coven or Jessica Lange dancing to "The Name Game" in Asylum. Let's give this a go and recap what went down in "Election Night."

Don't Wanna Be An American Idiot

The episode opens with a montage of the Clinton and Trump campaigns and the introduction of Cult characters occurs as they watch the election results come in on November 8, 2016. Evan Peters joins us a Kai Anderson, a man so excited about Trump's victory that he humps his TV and makes himself a Cheetos mask after throwing a bunch of orange curls into his blender. "The revolution has begun." He makes his way to his sister, Winter's room (played by Billie Lourd who I just love) and Winter is near tears. Seems she dropped out of college to campaign for Hillary and never thought she would lose the election. Winter is talking to a friend on the phone and wonders where she will get an abortion now if she needs one. She also has a history of self harm, which I assume will pop up again later. 

Kai holds out his pinky finger and Winter links hers with his and they share an odd moment. Later in the episode we learn that this is a common occurrence - a truth game of sorts where she reveals her deepest, darkest feelings. The most important one comes from the question: "what's the thing that scares you the most?" Winter doesn't hesitate. "Honestly Kai, you."

While the Anderson siblings deal with their divided household, Sarah Paulson's character Ally watches the election results in her living room, surrounded by neighbors as well as her wife, Ivy and 10 year old son, Ozzie.  Ally has a near breakdown when Trump takes the stage to make his victory speech and neighbors Tom and Marilyn Chang bicker almost immediately. See, these folks all live in Michigan and they thought Michigan was supposed to be a lock for Hillary Clinton. Marilyn never made it to the polls that day so Tom yells at her, telling her that their friends might not be able to stay married because she was too busy to vote. Damn. This escalated quickly. A very worried Ozzie wanders into the room at that moment, but his moms tell him everything will be okay. 

Everything Isn't Meant To Be Okay

We see a young couple fooling around on a picnic blanket in the middle of nowhere. The girl pauses, telling her boyfriend that someone is watching them. He jokes that it may be Twisty. Wait...what? Could it be? Dude says that 60 years ago Twisty the Clown murdered a couple right there in that spot. As this discussion takes place we see Twisty approach with his bag of props and I am cheering from my couch. 1) We already have a link between this season and a previous season and 2) Things are just more fun with Twisty around. The two lovebirds see the clown and very understandably freak out. Dude whips out...a gun (we're beyond getting it on at this point) and shoots Twisty several times with no success. Twisty beats the guy over the head with a juggling pin and then stabs him repeatedly with a knife. I mean...this guy gets stabbed a lot of times. A lot. Seriously. The very unlucky girl runs toward the Twisty bus that Freak Show fans know and love and attempts to hide inside. Sweetheart, this is not going to end well for you. Twisty searches his humble abode and hears a 911 call from a corner. She's toast, but what the hell does this have to do with Cult? 

Ah, seems Mr. Ozzie has a Twisty the Clown comic book...because killer clowns are all the rage these days...and Ally catches him reading under the covers when he is supposed to be sound asleep. Her reaction, much like the entirety of this episode, is over the top and almost annoying. Ally has a clown phobia and this little event is at the top of her list of things to talk about when she goes to her next therapy appointment. 

Cheyenne Jackson returns to American Horror Story this season as Dr. Rudy Vincent and Ally has been seeing him for quite a while it seems. We join their session in a discussion about her former housekeeper/babysitter who flew the coop after Trump was elected. Ally assumes she went back to Guatamala because she was afraid of being deported. Ally just doesn't know how she'll make it through the next 4 years and her anxiety has triggered all of her old phobias. In addition to clowns, she is scared of confined spaces and she also sees blood in certain shapes and objects. For instance - Dr. Vincent's coral display is really stressing Ally out. It's just coral, but she sees blood oozing out of the openings. Ally likens her current emotional state to her fear after 9/11 when she would not leave her apartment. Oh dear. Meeting Ivy pulled her out of that dark place and when Obama was elected, she felt the universe had righted itself. You can jump in any time Dr. Vincent... 

The good doctor explains that he has deleted all of his social media accounts and focused all of his election frustrations into working out (Ally herself notes that he's looking pretty good these days) and says this casually while sneaking in a comment about prescribing anti-anxiety medication. Ally isn't interested but he assures her that she needs these pills and everything is going to be okay. But is it?

The Sound Of Hysteria 

Kai attends a city council meeting that coincidentally is headed up by Tom Chang. The motion on the table is whether to give more security support to the local Jewish Community Center by having the sheriff's deputies work overtime. Kai is the only member of the public to speak on this and he is totally against it. He believes that "above all, humans love fear." Kai gives examples of how he feels people's irrational fear impedes freedom, saying that fear releases people from their desires and ambitions. He doesn't think the Jewish Community Center needs additional protection...he'd rather have it blown up. Kai's speech is delivered as if he is campaigning for a position of power, not opposing a motion pending the city council's vote. Tom talks down to him and (he believes) puts Kai in his place. "I know it feels good to have your worst instincts validated but don't be fooled. Use this opportunity, now that you're out of your parents' basement, to meet people who aren't like you. You are afraid. We're not." The motion passes unanimously. 

And while we're on the topic of fear, we join Ally at the grocery store that same evening. The cashier is wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and she is immediately shaken. I'm not sure why, but Ally seems to be the only person in the store. She starts to see things...clowns...all over the store. They're riding scooters, having sex near the watermelons (you read that right), working the cash register, and blasting some serious head banging music over the loud speaker. Ally screams. Ally cries. Ally runs through the aisles and throws perfectly good bottles of wine at the scooting clown with three faces. Then she gets in her car, does the screaming/crying thing some more, sees a clown in the back seat, and promptly crashes her car into a pole in the parking lot. 

Once she's home safe and sound, Ally is looking for some support from her wife. Ivy is a saint trying her best and she tells Ally that no one else saw any clowns or heard any music. There was nothing on the store's security camera. The police thinks she's cray cray. 

Welcome To A New Kind Of Tension

Ally and Ivy run a restaurant called The Butchery (see what they did there?) and Ally has been neglecting all of her duties. Ivy pleads with Ally, asking for things to go back to the way they were before the election...she wants her wife back, and really she wants her life back. Ally promises to get her fears and anxiety under control and return to work, which means they need a new nanny for Ozzie. They discuss this on a walk outside of the restaurant and Ally asks Ivy if she forgives her. Didn't we just cover this? Oh. No we did not. Ally voted for Jill Stein and not Hillary and Ivy is still having some issues with that. The discussion is interrupted by Kai, who is walking by and "trips" and spills his drink all over them. They exchange curse words and Kai tells them to have a nice day. 

The ladies place an ad for a nanny and Winter comes a knockin.' I wish she had given a head's up so we would have had a "winter is coming" opportunity. Oh well. Ally and Ivy don't really interview her beyond the "tell us about yourself" question, so we already know this will eventually be a shit show. Winter says she loves children, used to babysit in high school, dropped out of college to work on Hillary's campaign, and once got a retweet from Lena Dunham. You're hired! 

One Nation Controlled By The Media

Ally and Ivy celebrate by having dinner at the restaurant alone and Ivy continues to keep Ally's wine glass full, hoping it will put her "in the mood." I guess it's been a while since Ivy got her rocks off. Too bad Ivy's wife is more concerned with Twitter than sharing romantic stares across the table. When she finally does put her phone down, Ally sees blood in the souffle Ivy has served her as well as a clown near the table. Cue the breathy/crying/whining/yelling thing again. Groan.

Meanwhile Winter is showing Ozzie all types of violence that can be found online. After quizzing him about who his "real mom" is and noting his interest in Twisty the Clown, she tells Ozzie that viewing the dark web is like a vaccination for his brain. Winter says the more he watches, the less scared he will be. "I'll get some cookies." Side note: One violent item that will soon make its way online is Kai's first short film. He is back to his fear mission and antagonizes a group of Latino men in a parking lot. He pees in a condom, ties it shut, then throws it on them. As he gets his ass beat, someone is nearby filming the incident on a phones.

When Winter goes in search of a snack for the violent video viewing, Ozzie hears an ice cream truck pull up across the street. He peeks out the window and sees the grocery store clowns enter the Chang's house. He calls for Winter, who is the worst nanny ever, and she walks him over there to see what's happening. She WALKS HIM OVER THERE TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING. Winter hoists him up to the window to see Tom slaughtered and hear Marilyn scream in terror. One of the clowns paints a smiley face on the inside door using Tom's blood. 

By the time Ivy and Ally come home, there are police lights everywhere and Ozzie and Winter are outside. They find out the Changs are dead in "what appears to be a murder-suicide" but Ozzie tells his moms the clowns killed them. Ivy sends Ozzie to sit with a police officer and Winter shows the ladies the Twisty comic. She says nothing in Ozzie's story happened and the moms believe her because Ozzie has a history of night terrors...which is really something they should have told the nanny to begin with. I'm assuming their Guatemalan housekeeper was a mind reader. 

Yup...probably the whole season. 

The episode ends with Ally lying in bed. She hears a noise and calls out to Ivy. No Ivy? Ally rolls over and a clown is staring her in the face. She screams because, you know, it's been more than 5 minutes since she has done so and I'm assuming at this point it's clearly detailed in her contract. With that annoyance aside, I'm definitely wondering a few things after this hour. What's the deal with Winter and her awesome hair and carefully applied eye makeup? Is she some sort of mini-Kai with women's empowerment aspirations? Is Kai part of the clown posse that appears to be real and not just an Ally hallucination? Is Ivy going to dropkick Ally's ass to the curb because she also can't stand the way she cries? And most importantly, is Ozzie going to tell his moms that maybe they should check some references for his next nanny and also ensure she's not a creepy bitch? I mean...Winter is totally fired, right? I suppose we will find out as the season progresses and Cheyenne Jackson gets ripped from all of his political angst workouts.